What's the best way to bribe a police officer when caught drink driving?

Question

I always drive home from the pub trolleyed on a Friday and know I'll get caught sooner or later.
Is it best to put some cash in my driving licence or leave it on the passenger seat?
Should I plant some of my crystal meth in his car instead?

Ahh..the return of templejohn. The only adult here that thinks a quotation mark is a comma.
How's you book coming on?

Cotes Du Rhones...HaHaHa. Only joking!!!

Answer 1

I'm fast losing any respect for you, even if you are joking.
Drink-driving is a big no-no.
Kill yourself, but kill/maim one of mine and I'll hunt you down like a dog and do horrid things with your body parts, like amputation and repositioning in inappropriate places, if you get my drift...

No anaesthetic either. Then a nice salt rub to all the raw areas.
Or cover you with jam and stick you in an ants nest.

Get the picture.

Don't mess with nurses, we can be very sadistic........

Have a good day sweetie. Mwah.

Answer 2

Offering a police officer money when pulled over for a driving offense is just stupid. Policemen follow a rigid code of conduct that forbids them from accepting money if crudely handed to them. What is required is looking the officer in the eye, smiling and saying "I just came from your mom's house and she told me that you left this hundred dollar bill on the kitchen table this morning. She needs her regular order of suppositories, a fifth of bourbon, and another case of whipped cream." Odds are, he'll take the money and give you a warning, unless he's already got the groceries in the car, in which case he'll thrash you and run you in.

Answer 3

You could always follow the Mel Gibson school of drink-driving - insult the crap out of the cops (Nazi antisemitism works best, I hear), then get your PR people to make a very public apology on your behalf and Voila! - You're off Scott free! Of course this might only work if you've made a really nasty film about Jesus first ;o)

Answer 4

Try to bribe me when I stop you, and when I get you to the jail and find the meth you "planted", I'm charging you with that too. Have a nice day.

Keep driving drunk, I just hope someone else doesn't pay the price for your mistake with their lives.

Answer 5

My strategy is always to offer to 'take a breathalyzer test' *wink*. Seems to work for me, but it just might get you a night stick upside the head.

You're probably better off going with the 'cash in the license route'. (unless it's a female officer - then just charm the pants off her. you seem to be pretty good at that)

Answer 6

After the cop has finished talking put a 50 in your hand (or a 20) then say 'thankyou officer while shaking his hand then release with the money in the cop's hand.

Answer 7

I say take them to detention center and change around and positioned them on a play to the place ever they got here from. it is not a powerful start up for them attempting to grow to be legals, in the event that they even tried for it. there are a number of sturdy hard working, regulation abiding immigrants waiting for their danger to grow to be efficient US electorate, and its human beings like that jam up the equipment. Kick them out no questions ask

Answer 8

You are not serious. Drinking and driving it not funny. Crystal meth is not funny. Bribing an officer it not funny. Grow up. These are life and death issues.

Answer 9

not a good idea, my sister in law's husband was killed like that and left his two babies behind, that was like 10 yrs ago, she's still pretty messed up about it not to mention other people it effected. The guy fleed the country

Answer 10

the best bribe would be, that he would take your car from you for good, and then throw you in jail for a long time. drinking and driving ,no way. they are law abiding people out there that yob,s like you, could knock down and kill, are you for real.?