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I think he's one of the funniest people out there, he should have his own show.

My favourite is "They have eating dogs for the anorexic now" - said to a blind lady with a guide dog.

I only had one answer last time, let's have some more please.

2006-08-07 03:06:36 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

8 answers

'If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it has two wings and it flies but it's not an airplane, and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it'
-the mans a genius!

2006-08-07 03:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8 1

Three of my all time favorites are when he met Australian Aborigines and asked, "Do you still throw spears at each other?"

or (sorry, can't place the context)

"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife."

or, when talking to British exchange students in China,

"You shouldn't stay here too long, or you'll turn slitty-eyed."

Yikes!!!

2006-08-07 03:22:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

to come to a decision on one single customary quote of Prince Philip could be fairly impossible – the guy has have been given a depraved experience of humour! My genuine customary costs are here: a million. “the guy who invented the purple carpet mandatory his head examined” – throughout state bypass to to Braxil in 1968 . 2. “Constitutionally i don't exist” – from "could desire to the royals have genuine jobs?" BBC information. 3. “If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t involved” – on Princess Anne in 1970. 4. “human beings think of there’s a inflexible classification equipment here, yet dukes have even been universal to marry refrain ladies. some have even married individuals” – a quote from 2000. 5. “little ones are comparable to they continually have been. in basic terms as ignorant” – at Duke of Edinburg Awards scheme in 2006. 6. “How do you maintain the natives off the booze long sufficient to bypass the attempt?” – to Scottish driving instructor in 1995. 7. “Bugger the table plan, provide me my dinner!” – at a occasion in 2004. 8. “It sounds like a tart’s mattress room” – on Prince Andrew’s hose in 1986. 9. “Are we going to wish ear plugs?” – after being informed Madonna grew to become into making a track the Die yet another Day subject matter in 2002. 10. “You controlled to not get eaten then?” – to a British trekker in Papua New Guinea in 1998. 11. “in case you reside here plenty longer, you’ll bypass homestead with slitty eyes” – to a British pupil in China in 1986. 12. “you have mosquitoes, I definitely have the click” – to matron of Caribbean wellness facility in 1966. 13. “in basic terms a Scotsman can particularly proceed to exist a Scottish training” – on being made Chancellor of Edinburgh college in 1953. 14. “are you able to tell the version between them?” – after listening to President Obama had had breakfast with leaders of the united kingdom, Russia and China in 2010. 15. “If it has 4 legs and it’s not a chair, if it’s have been given 2 wings and it flies yet isn't an aeroplane, and it is swims and it’s not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it” – at a WF assembly in 1986 sixteen. “You’re in basic terms a stupid little Whitehall twit: you don’t believe me and that i don’t believe you” – to a civil servant in 1970. 17. Upon seeing Simon Kelner, Republican editor of The self reliant, at Windsor fort reception - Philip: "What are you doing here?", Kelner: "i grew to become into invited, Sir", Philip: "nicely, you didn’t could desire to return!"

2016-11-04 01:34:12 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

When Chuck Norris does a push up, He pushes down the whole world

2006-08-07 03:16:28 · answer #4 · answered by Super_Dave_the_Forth 1 · 0 0

The one you have mentioned is one that had me laughing out loud!

The other good one is where he was at a youth club somewhere and asked how many were on drugs!

2006-08-07 03:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by SunnyDays 5 · 0 0

mine is ooo lizzy i just caught the butler polishing your crown jewels-any chance youll do the same with me lol

2006-08-07 03:36:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

hasn`t he stopped breathing yet

the times he has put his foot in his mouth
I thought he would have choked by now

2006-08-07 03:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by itsa o 6 · 0 0

my fave must be-

"For god sake libby, sign the damn divorce papers!"

2006-08-07 04:17:54 · answer #8 · answered by Baz94 3 · 0 0

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