do you think i should put up with this? what do i say?

Question

my 15 yr daughter lives with her aunt (because of some bad things she did living at home). she came to visit this weekend. she wanted to stay until friday (just so she could talk to her bf) i told her she had to go to daycare and help out while i was at work (did not want her home by herself) she threw a fit cause she had to get up early. she said i am going home today and i am not coming back here. i said okay whatever you want to do. it hurt my feelings, but then again it was kind of a relief to have her leave. she makes our whole family uncomfortable with her attitude and outbursts. i want her to come visit, but i can't handle the disrespect.

we have been thru counseling. she has other prob that i can't tell you about right now. she was placed with her aunt when she got out of juvy. she has stolen our truck and ran away several times. i'm sure, it is not our parenting. we have 3 other kids that are very good. i am a good mother, give me a break. i have done everything to try to fix this. i am smarter than what you guys are giving me credit for. i asked " what do you think i should say now"

Answer 1

I think you are handling it very well. Let her leave when she threatens to she will be back. Good to let her know that you will not tolerate the disrespect.

Answer 2

I have 4 daughters, 21-16-14- and 2 years old. They can be pretty bad at times but I cant imagine not wanting my own daughters in my house.What ever she did in the first place to get thrown out was a sign that she is looking for help. She has probably needed help for a while. Please don't think that I'm being judgmental in any way. I make mistakes with my girls all the time. I use to party with my oldest daughter,so I'm not the perfect Mom. Maybe some where along the way you weren't the perfect Mom either and she is hurting and wants to hurt you back. Why don't you try to first say sorry to her for things that have happened in her past that may have been your fault,Talk to her. Tell her that you love her and that you want to start a new relationship with her. She will probably respond. Teenagers can be tough but deep inside they are still little and need our love and support. Unconditional Love, that's the bottom line. I don't mean to sound preachy in any way, I hate that. Good Luck

Answer 3

Sounds like she's being the typical teenager with the nasty know-it-all, do-what-i-want attitude. It's just a stage that parents have to put up with. Being that you're letting her live with her aunt, though, I don't see where there's much you can do, because she isn't under your roof. But her aunt shouldn't have taken her in, she should have let her go back home after awhile and let you all work things out together. Because you're the parent, not her. The girl is your responsibility. Set boundaries, and don't take any disrespect. Teens are out of control these days, but you parents have to stop them.

Answer 4

English has plenty of this style of factor. The shorter the verb, the much more likely it's to be of German extraction, and accordingly most probably for use with a preposition to deliver a style of specific meanings. Put, take, deliver, make, run, move, come, take a seat ... it is facet of what makes English so very bendy, however this type of nightmare for foreigners studying it.

Answer 5

Who is the adult and who is the child here? Sounds like she got the upper hand a long time ago. It also sounds like she's acting out because she knows y'all don't want her around ... that's gotta hurt. Try telling her how much you love her, but you're not going to put up with that behavior. Be strong and be a mother to her!

Does she act out like this at her aunt's house?

Answer 6

She has to realize that the world gets up early and she can't be complaining about it. Judging from your side of the story it seems like you have handled it well. You love your daughter, but you love her too much to let her behave like that. Hopefully she'll come out of her teenage years to realize how much you were trying to help her.

She's a teenager. Sadly that means your feelings will be hurt frequently. I hurt my parent's feelings many times through that stage of my life and reduced my father to tears. I came out of it ok and I love my parents for everything they did for me. And especially not taking to heart the many times I told them I didn't want them in my life anymore and how much I hated them.

Hang on. She can't be a teenager forever.

Answer 7

as is usually the case with children, they will perform whatever ill behavior is 1. expected and 2. tolerated.
you need to offer your daughter firm boundaries regarding your expectations, but let her know all of this lovingly, not pleadingly. it seems you may have a great deal of guilt, which makes discipline difficult.
is your daughter not with you because you can't discipline her well enough? or because the environment is bad for her? if it's the environment you should move somewhere else with her. she may be very angry with you.
but again, you need to calmly, lovingly and firmly set your rules.and the hard part is for you to calmly, lovingly and firmly state what the consequences will be for her to deviate from them. and then stick to your guns.
also, i would try to get your daughter back. you and your family need to be on the same page with the behavior you will accept from her. she stillhas things you can control: her access to computers, phones, she still can't drive...you need to reel this girl in before it's too late. i'd recommend therapy for you and your daughter--immediately!

Answer 8

well,its sad that you want to get rid of your daughter becos of something bad she did,which you are not able to handle....comeon,she's a grown up,you should be her best friend,you are a woman yourslef,parents dont get there children away if they do something wrong,rather try to understand them,get to know why did she do that in 1st place?dont disown her and then expect her to just come once in way and make u feel good........get to know your daughter and have a relationship with her being her mother.....how will others accept your child if you yourself dont!!

Answer 9

As the old saying goes, "It's all in the way you were raised". You need to give respect to receive it. Get some counseling.

Answer 10

Its not your fault she is a stupid slut whore, hope she grows out of it. if not she can look my sister up. she was just the same. now she is thirty and still ****** up. all she ever does is take and take and take. if u don't give it she will steal it.