my mom left me and my sisters at a young age it was a terrible thing to do but now i want to contact her??

Question

should i ,i still see all my sisters and my dad dosnt want me to have anything to do with my mom what should i do .........

Answer 1

Forget about it. Stick with your real family. Don't do anything to upset them.

Answer 2

Your mom must have had her reasons for leaving you and your sisters at a young age, I can't understand a reason for a mother having to do that unless things were very difficult for her, maybe you dad is worried you will find out the real reason for your mom leaving you all if you do find your mom and decide to have contact with her, sometimes parents say things to their kids to protect them from been deeply hurt, ask your dad if there is a real reason for her leaving and that you are old enough to understand anything he tells you and will not hold it against him, maybe your dad is also very frightened of losing you to your mom after looking after you all these years, reassure him you love him and that is not going to happen, I think you should try and get some real answers off your dad first and do a bit of reassuring to him before you open up cans of worms that may be best left shut

Answer 3

Has your father raised you to to be functional? Have you had a really good home life, despite the fact that your mother left?

If so, sometimes it's a good idea to leave well enough alone.

If you want to pursue finding your mother, you're going to do it, but for one moment, think of the emotional effects that this could have on you. You may be better off not knowing her. Seriously.

If you do find her, though, no matter what she says or what she does, remember that you're still the same person you were before you met her, and that you still have a family that loves you more than anything, even if she doesn't.

Answer 4

I have a similar situation. My dad was never part of my life since the day I was born. I never even missed the fact that I didn't have a father because I had such a GREAT childhood ,now I'm 31 and have 2 kids of my own and I still don't ever want to know who he is. I guess as long as you are happy in your current situation why would you want to dig up that stuff ? it can tear a good family apart, so if I were you I'd be happy with the card I was delt.

Answer 5

You feel as though you are betraying your Dad and Sisters because you have a need to see your birth mother. Although they may not wish to have contact with her, that isn't a good reason for you not contacting her. There is always a second side to every story. It may be difficult for you to go ahead and contact your birth mother - against the feelings of your family, however, if you feel that strongly you should do it. The only caution I offer is to realize that if your birth mother walked away from you and your family, she may have mental health issues that you may not be able to manage once you meet her. Talk to your family about why you want to meet her - ask them what their experiences were and maybe you'll change your mind and not pursue that meeting. Good luck whichever route you choose.

Answer 6

Listen to your father he knows your mother much better than you do. If your mother wanted to have any contact with you she would. Some people are not worth wasting our time and energy on. The only thing that can come of you contacting your mother is that you will put yourself in an emotionally damaging situation. Ask yourself why you want to contact her, then ask yourself if you really believe she will meet any need you have of her. I doubt very much she could meet any of your needs or she would have when you were a child. Sorry to be so blunt but obviously you are not listening to your dad.

Answer 7

Look for her anyway and give her a piece of your mind. I am sure your family doesn't want to see you get hurt but it has to be done. Your mom has to explain her self no matter how pitiful her reasoning may be. I can be bitter now about my mom but I know deep down that I should say something to her. But now isn't my time, I am still angry. You sound like you have forgiven her somewhat so just find her. Good luck.

Answer 8

find her otherwise this will always be a burning question for you... and if you wait and it turns out that you where too late, you will regret it.
it is understandable that you dad is against you doing this, but she is your mum... and you need to make your own decision as to who she is and the reasons she left you. at the same time don't be unkind to him and the rest of the family because it will affect them.
there are many stories positive and negative that result from kids finding their parents... your's could be either, so don't worry about what has happened to other people, use that to help prepare yourself for what ever happens, go and find your own story and Good Luck!!!
my story is that i was adopted at birth... i eventually met both my birth parents (though they where not together) and the story had both the positives and the negatives. but i don't regret it because i found out so much about my history, about me, and at the same time helped them get some closure on what had happened so many years ago. it is and was so complicated i can't really go into it much more than that.

Answer 9

If you are under age, do what your father says, if you are an adult then do whatever you think is the right thing to do, I know you need answers that only your mom can give you, but at the same time you can reopen a wound, but is up to you to decide how bad you want to re encounter with your mom

Answer 10

Do what you feel in your heart is right, if you want to contact her then do it! She is your mother and always will be, they make mistakes to! Maybe things will work out! You will never know if you don't. Good Luck!

I was adopted at the age of 3. In 1990 I was contacted by my biological brother and sister, I had the chance to meet my biological mother and I declined to do so, I personally never wanted to meet her, she has since passed away and my Sister asked me If I was finally ready to forgive her, you see she adopted 4 of us childern out and then went on to remarry and 4 more childern, whom she kept. I told my sister, You can't forgive someone you never really knew. I don't regret my decision because I was adopted by wonderful people and they are my parents. Both deceased and I miss them so much!!!

Answer 11

You have every right to contact her but just be ready and I mean emotionally. I dont know why she left but i want you to be prepared for her not doing what you want. Your family is concerned about you and for good reason. Dont set yourself up for a possible rejection unless you are prepared for it. Remember that you have the rest of your family if your mom acts like a jerk and ask her the questions you want to ask, it just might not be the answer your looking for. Good Luck.