I have a friend that borrows things from me all of the time. It doesn't bother me that much because when I go to her house and I see something that is mine, I ask her if she is done with it, otherwise, I don't get it back. But lately, it has been worse. She was at my house about 2 months ago and asked me if she could borrow my belly button ring. Ewww is what I thought, but I let her. Well, she has yet to return it and I keep asking her for it. She says that it is in her boyfriends car but I still don't have it. One day at her house, I saw it and the top balls gem was ruined. She said that she dropped it on the floor and it chipped. She said something about getting me a new one and I said ok. Well, when I mentioned it the last time we were at the mall, she acted like she didnt know what I was talking about. This is what really makes me mad, she borrows things and ruins them and doesnt fix what she did wrong. Another thing that bothers me is that the ball that she broke didnt
2006-08-07 02:10:31 · 17 answers · asked by tinkerbell 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
go to that belly ring. It went to another one. So not only do I not have that belly ring, I can't wear my favorite one. Another thing that bothers me is she has a ball with the same color gem and she won't give me that one, even though she ruined mine. What do I do to tell her that she either needs to give me her ball or buy me a new one. Also, how do I tell her no without offending her when she asks to borrow stuff? Oh yeah, I also owe her $8. Do I tell her that she can have her money back when she gives me back my bellyring with a fixed ball? And if she doesn't get me a new ball that I am going to spend the $8 she owes me on a new ball? Help.
If you have any questions, ask, and I will update you!
PLEASE HELP ME!
2006-08-07 02:13:44 · update #1
Other things she has of mine: expensive earrings, CDs, clothes (that don't even fit her), necklaces
2006-08-07 02:28:03 · update #2
Well I think what I would do is:
1. I would give her the $8.00 back and ask for all your stuff back, broke or not.
2. I would tell her that I wanted all my stuff back, broke or not and that you are going to keep the $8.00 and fix what is broken.
Then which ever you choose to do, I would let her know that you don't mind being friends with her but you are not going to be loaning out your stuff any more. If she wants stuff like you have then she can go buy her own stuff like you did to get it.
If she can't except this, then she wasn't a friend to start with. Real friends don't treat their friends the way she treats you. She is just using you is all she is doing.
2006-08-07 02:44:10 · answer #1 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Really not happy huh?
Do you feel better after venting all that? I hope so.
Firstly
DON'T LEND HER ANYTHING ELSE
Don't worry if that offends her. Just say I'm sorry but I cant let you borrow it. If she doesn't like it , TOUGH. If she is a friend she might be disappointed and not understand the sudden change of heart, but in the end will realise that it isn't worth breaking your friendship over. If she does think it is worth breaking a friendship over then that shows you how much the friendship was worth. (If that makes any sense)
I don't think it is legal to keep her money until she replaces your belly ring. If the ring cost eight dollars, next time you are over there and see it broken ask for it back in good condition. Since she can't do that suggest that the eight dollars you have of hers could be used to replace it
Don't let your friend walk all over you. You have a right to protect your property and if she can't look after it then don't lend it too her. Its that simple. You don't have to go into case histories unless she gets defensive about it.
Good Luck
2006-08-07 02:23:18 · answer #2 · answered by kllr.queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do this; compile a list of everything she has that belongs to you. Take that and the $8 to her place. Tell her you've made a list of your possessions and would like to have them back. Gather them all up. Hand her the $8, and say that you feel the borrowing back and forth has gotten out of hand and is beginning to create a problem. Say that you value the friendship and would hate to see it harmed. Tell her that, as far as you're concerned, there will be no more borrowing this and that. Tell her you'll see her later, invite her over for coffee, whatever, and go home. Tough luck about the belly button what's'it, you may have to eat that one.
2006-08-07 02:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing first:
You have to be honest.
If you don't want to lend something to a friend, then say you don't. You cannot be all willing and ready to lend stuff then complain about it behind your friend's back.
Secondly:
Know you have a right to get your things back. If she doesn't want to return something, or claims to not have it, then you have to decide if she really is a friend or not.
And ACT on that decision.
Lastly:
You have to embrace the fact that your life is yours to lead. Do not let others decide how it will flow or what direction it will take. If you cannot voice out your opinions on the matter, don't wonder why you aren't in charge of your life. You're letting others take it over.
So speak up and be more assertive. It is your life and you only have one.
Cheers!
2006-08-07 02:19:29 · answer #4 · answered by tobito_abad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the $8 and go buy your bellybutton ball or whatever, then learn your lesson and don't let her borrow things from you again. She obviously don't respect other peoples things. I know how it is when she is a friend. For instance my sister does this same exact thing to anything she borrows from family. We just dont' let her borrow anything anymore when she asks we say someone else borrowed it.
2006-08-07 02:40:41 · answer #5 · answered by tricksy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll say, "do the right thing!"
yeah, maybe she's your friend. but as a friend, a good friend, you have to tell her what she has done wrong and that it upsets you. if you keep silent about it, like afraid of getting her angry or something, she might take your "friendship" for granted, eventually.
so, here's a couple of steps i recommend:
1) return her $8 (so she won't have any trump card against you)
2) tell her what is YOUR ACTUAL feeling about her action(s)
3) (whatever the result) start learning how to say "NO"
good luck!
2006-08-07 02:24:03 · answer #6 · answered by apc_nuke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't loan her anymore things. It's one thing to be generous and quite another to be taken advantage of for generositie's sake. Put your foot down the next time she asks to borrow. And start asking for your things back, if she asks why, tell her that you didn't want her to keep these things indefinitely, and tell her where she can purchase some of these items for herself so she doesn't have to "borrow" them.
2006-08-07 02:20:39 · answer #7 · answered by atomictulip 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pay her the $8 back, write off the belly ring and dump your friend. She's not much of a friend at all.
2006-08-07 02:18:56 · answer #8 · answered by pynkbyrd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that you need to stop letting her borrow your things! If this ruins your friendship, then maybe it wasn't a true friendship to begin with.
2006-08-07 02:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
forget about that belly ring. tell her that because she is not bringing back what she borrows you are not letting her borrow things from you anymore...
2006-08-07 03:37:44 · answer #10 · answered by olga z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋