Adults, what's the longest that you have remained celibate since you became sexually active?

Question

Is it abnormal for a grown, healthy woman to have gone 2 years without having sex although she likes sex and enjoys the physical pleasure that it brings most of the time? Would a woman be kidding herself if she had made up her mind that she would not have sex again until she felt secure and loved and was in a relationship that was long-term and meaningful to both parties? Would that same woman be setting herself up for a life with no more sex ever? Should that woman compromise her values for occasional sexual satisfaction?

I am divorced and have 2 wonderful daughters.

I still believer in marriage and hope to marry again one day but this time I want it to last forever. The first time I was young, naive and thought that love would conquer all. Older and wiser now. In my 30s and finally have sense and sensibility.

Answer 1

I can say for me it has been two years and 3 months. It is not abnormal at all to practice celibacy. I think it is the best decision we as women can ever make for a number of reasons. 1 we are emotional beings, when ever we are intimate with someone we are not just giving some up, our emotions are tide up in the mix, weather it was a one night stand, or quickie, or a relationship, we still fill some kind of way. 2. We as women we are the receivers, and what I mean by that is, the penis enters the virgina, which effects us in many different way's than the man. Being that we are the receivers we desire effection. 3 We should value our sexuality because it is powerful, and if used in a commited relationship the benefits are great. And that's without all the emotional drama.

I Love sex to. But I am not going to continue to enter into relationships with men who are not willing to make a commitment. Giving a part of myself that I value. Trust me, if you place value on your sexuality then you will hold out.

No, I don't think you are setting your self up with a life with out sex. You are setting your life up without heartbreaks, diseases and emotional drama. In-which when are weighted, No sex wins.

No I don't think a women should compromise her values for occasional sexual satisfaction. Given a moment it happens without a conscious consent, if you know what I mean.
But consciously, know I don't think so.

Answer 2

I've had some one or two year stretches. Like you, I'm at a point in my life where I'd rather have sex be a meaningful shared experience with someone I'm close to. Being a currently single guy, I'm not necessarily opposed to the occasional casual hookup, if the cards are right, but it's not something I really find that satisfying. Plus, sex is never really "casual" -- there's the risk of getting attached to a person you're sleeping with (or vice-versa) before you've evaluated the relationship on other levels.

So, my answer is: go with your heart. Pursue the kind of relationship you really want and don't think of yourself as abnormal for not having an active sex life. Besides, there are healthy sexual outlets that don't require a partner. :)

Answer 3

From a guy's view:

I would only worry if you were married for those 2 years. I went at least as long before my first marriage.

I think you are on the right track to want a meaningful relationship before giving of yourself like that. There are some guys that would greatly respect you for that.

I believe that you will have sex again, and will not have to abandon the core of yourself (your values). They might change over time, but you will find that balance.

Answer 4

Listen here it's very healthy to want to wait for a meaningful loving relationship to then have sex because it can only cause pain and distress to be with someone for no loving reason at all. But if you are really desiring sexual gratification what are you waiting for. I mean if you don't use it honey you will lose it. Forget all those old fashioned taboos, you do what feels right for you!!! I do understand the waitiing thing though, my grandmother got divorced at 36 and is still celibate waiting for my grandfather mind you thats 34 years without any, please don't wait that long!

Answer 5

It is perfectly normal for you to want sexual encounters, yet demand a deeper intimacy first. These desires simply mean that your body works the way it's supposed to. Women have their sexual peak later in life, so it's only natural for us to think about sex more frequently as the years pass. On the flip side, we have been socialized into being monogamous creatures.
The healthiest way to cope with this is to try to date, but under no circumstances compromise your morals. If your sexual tension in peaking then explore masturbation and vibrators. Just know that I have encountered many men who have feelings similar to your own. Don't give up hope just yet.

Answer 6

First. Yes it is normal. Second. There is no such thing as normal when it comes to your sexuality. Never compare yourself with others. It is your body. You have complete control of it. If a love is what you are looking for then it is a love that you shall find. Think positively and "imagine" that you have found that someone already. Don't be surprised if that someone miraculously appears in your life. I've said it before. Thoughts are things that when held in the mind with conviction have a way of manifesting themselves right before your eyes. I wish you all the best. BIG HUG to you!

Answer 7

It has been 6 years since i have any sexual contact.I choose not have sex just for pleasure.I am a firm believer in being in love with someone before compromising myself.I guess it depends on how you feel about it dear.Ocassional sexual satisfactions could lead to stds or worse.Myself i dont want to take that risk.You can however satisfy those urges yourself....Good luck

Answer 8

4 months, that was because the guy that i am with was gone for 4 months and I remained faithful to him. I he were gone longer I wouldn't have had a problem with it. I think it is important to distinguish lust from love. Most of the time we lust and we shouldn't when we love things come together beautifully. I don't think your setting your self up, I think that there is someone out there for you who will appreciate your celibacy, you know that fact that you have been screwing every dick tom and harry lets them know that your not a slut and that they can take you around their friends without worrying about their friends saying they've had you or you screwing them. Sex will be better when you do, do it again.

Answer 9

Ha -- I'm going on two years with the exception of (2) one nighters with different men........

They were both someone that I've been out with in the past and have remained good friends with --- and actually we only got together because we were lonely and needed companionship.

Both encounters (seperately) happened with a night of "drinking" and frankly, I don't remember alot of details...........so the "sexual" part of these two "nights" wasn't really worth it...........

I still remain friends with both (today) but never should have crossed the line like I did.............those fateful nights.........

I do, now have a person in my life; but it's a "long distance" relationship..............so there has been no "sex"........(yet).......

Answer 10

No I think its a great idea because yeah having sex is great but making love is even more wonderful. Doing with someone your comfortable with and feel secure around is an important thing in this type of thing. Your values are important and you should stick to them.