Has this ever happened to you?

Question

Have you ever lived with a romantic partner whom you believed to be cheating on you, and for various reasons you were unable to leave the residence at that time? How did you deal with the pain? Did you feel like you were going to lose your mind? My partner swears that they're not being unfaithful, regardlesss of the evidence. I'm starting to not trust my judgement. At one moment I'll think maybe I am just being paranoid for thinking they're cheating. Then at times I will think that is just a way of my mind trying to cope with the situation, that I am in denial. My insticts, aside from evidence, tell me something odd is going on. I feel I should mention that my partner is an alcoholic, and I've come to learn through reading and speaking to others that adicts of any kind tend to be good at keeping secrets, even lying. Can anyone offer me some advice? Only serious answers please.

I guess I should also mention that my partner is doing everything they can to avoid me, seriously. My partner actually refuses to talk with me, about this issue or anything else, even though we live in the same household. Every day is basically silence. When something is said, it is always tense.

Answer 1

you should find a way to make different living arrangements and save up some money---then confront your own feelings--follow your instincts--and if u really care about this person enough to want to stick with them then u should confront them about their drinking and their cheating--if this person admitts it-then u can try and work things out--but if they dnt then u should come to terms with the situation-it is un healthy to feel like your going out of your mind..hope i helped a lil bit

Answer 2

I don't understand what you mean by "various reasons". The only reason I can think of is financial.
Yes, this has happened to me. And yes, he was an alcoholic too. They are terrific liars, but that doesn't necessarily mean your partner is lying about everything all the time.

As for 'evidence', may I ask when your home became a court of law? If you're planning to divorce someone for adultery you need evidence, but not to break up with someone. Anyone who tries to argue and make you feel like that is probably lying. You feel confused it's because he's confusing you - on purpose. That way you doubt yourself and they can get away with everything.

Nevermind proving the cheating or not, the bottom line is you don't trust your partner, and that's what you need to trust. Decide that it's over and get out as soon as you're able. Your partner can cheat as much as he wants in the meantime (and he will) The pain will fade with time, but you really need to get out of that. And don't blame yourself!

Answer 3

"My insticts, aside from evidence, tell me something odd is going on."

You know how when you take a test and you hear people say "always go with your first answer if not sure" cuz that is our instinct. If we change it and get the results back as we were right the first time. Then we want to kick our own butts for changing it.

What I am getting at is....trust your instinct. Investigate it more and be more aware.

I don't know enough about your situation to give you more information on maybe ways of how to investigate it. However if you want to talk or anything email at [e-mail]

P.S. You are right about alcoholics.

Plus if I was in that situation. I would of broken up with him already for the alcoholism.

Answer 4

There is no reason for you to stay there, there has to be some place you can go. A friend's house, a parent. If non of those are possible find another place and move out. look in the news paper there are always people looking for room mates if you can't afford a place on your own. What reason could you possibly have for not leaving.
If your instinct tell you it's so and there is evidence you should leave. You should always trust your judgment.
You are obviously not happy with him, THAT is reason enough to leave. Why are you letting this asshole mess you up for the rest of your life?

Answer 5

If YOU were cheating and someone suspected it and tried to call you on it----would YOU want to talk about it????

Hello, doesn't that tell you something? This pretty much confirms it in my mind, at least, that something else is really going on. Face it and make plans. By the way---what is the 'evidence?' Your partner isn't really that good at keeping secrets, if you suspect, have 'evidence' and they won't discuss it.

You have to deal with heartache the way that the rest of us do. One day at a time...sometimes, it is minute by minute. BUT...you can do it! Just don't be a chump. You really do have the facts. Make your move.

Answer 6

if your asking this u need to trust yourself. if u have no where else to go play it smart. go along with things until u have somewhere else to go.

One thing I have learnt is that woman's intuition is rarely wrong. Take care of yourself. u no whats right and if hes cheating what goes around comes around. It's his loss. I just found my partner cheating but it was my house so its a little different. The best advice i got was to forgive him and leave. By letting yourself get upset u just give him more power and it's harder to move on. good luck.

Answer 7

You'd be on the set of coronation street! In theory i think if no longer something ever happend,there might have been no huge Bang which might propose that circumstances for existence does not have been created!! In physics isn't there a regulation that states each action HAS AN equivalent AND OPPOSITTE reaction?? consequently if there grow to be no preliminary action,evoloution does not exist.... Cool! Existential questions:)

Answer 8

wow, if you cant take it anymore, dumb him.. dont be stress!! it makes you having cancer and short live!! there are lots better guys that will love you sincerely.
Anyway, but still you know your boyfriend more than me (haha). ok, you take time to be alone and then think again if he loves you or not, you shud be able to judge this, see his act, if he is nice at you or not. you can also go to couple councellor or hire a detective or spy to look up your boyfriend. but from my real experience, Cheaters are always cheaters... if there are clear evidence that he is cheating on you, leave him.
other tips is, maybe you need to be busy, so you dont think so much, or you do something romantic with him, make him surprised. and remember, USE YOUR LOGIC, DONT USE YOUR EMOTIONAL/overreacting feeling. you can do it ;)

Answer 9

Yes, addicts are good liars. If you "feel" something is wrong..it is! never second guess yourself. If you can't leave then at least make him wear a condom when you have sex with him. When i was living in that situation i cried allot, gained weight...it was horrible until one day i couldn't take it anymore. i grabbed my son and walked out one Friday night. i moved home to my parents but it was a tough move. i loved my husband then. i will say that now tho, things are different. I've been married for 16 years....happily. good luck to you and always protect yourself.

Answer 10

you know what you must do my young padawan.. use the force.. he is indeed not being faithful,,