How do you know?

Question

If you and your parnter are only still together for the kids sake?

Answer 1

you wont have that spark

Answer 2

Ask him.
Ask yourself.

Write a list of all the good things you see in him and one of all the bad. Which list is bigger? Have him do the same thing. What are you guys dwelling on in these lists?

>Try going on dates together EVERY SINGLE WEEK on one night together, without any kids.
>Have sex at least once a week or more, even if you're "not in the mood".
>tell each other "I love you" ever time you leave, hang up the phone, and say goodnight.
>Do nice things for each other every day without being asked.
>surprise each other with a little gift now and then.
>stop dwelling on the other's problems and start focusing on one of your own and fix it.
>God comes first, second your spouse, THIRD your children, last yourself. (very important order. if spouse is a selfish jerk and hates his kids then of course he can't always come before the kids)

Remember that any marriage is salvageable. Just know that those who you SERVE you LOVE. Try serving him, complimenting him, saying "I love you" more often, giving him a hug or a kiss "just cuz", tell him you appreciate all that he does, (or if it's your wife, do these for HER).

And last but not least, pray together. That will help in so many ways you cannot even begin to imagine.

I suggest also that you read Dr. Laura's books
"The Ten Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships"
and
"The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands"
and
"Woman Power"

Good luck!!!

Answer 3

My hubby and I went through the same thing, and it did seem that our lives revolved around the kids, as it is supposed too. We came close acouple of times to calling it quits. Our kids are now 19 & 17 and our lives have got back on track, we are glad that we persevered with each other and got through the hard bits. There is more to being married than sex, if you both feel totally safe and at ease if you both feel comforable being yourseves then stay were you are, learn from this experience and grow stronger as a couple and as a family and never shut your children out, a group cuddle is fantastic when the shits hitting the fan.

Answer 4

Maybe you are using the kids as an excuse to stay together. Perhaps you are really hoping there is something still there but don't want to admit it because of pride. Maybe you are temporarily tired of the romance it takes to keep a marriage going, but plan to return to it... you know, when the kids demand less. Maybe you need a night to yourselves to see what is left of the marriage. You should talk about your feelings together. Raising a family takes a lot out of you and sometimes we get lost in who we were before the children. Time to explore each other again. If you still love your spouse, show it as if you were first dating. Either buy some flowers for her, or cook him his favorite dinner. A simple card is also a great way to show someone you care about them and they are special in your life.

Answer 5

How do you feel about each other,is there still a spark there? Do you wish you were with someone else, has the communication gone, do u still get that feeling you had previous. Are you arguing about silly things then ignoring each other the rest of the time. are you happy? Ask yourself these things? you will then have your answer, kids will feel there is something wrong they sense it. some times its a mistake staying for the kids as you are actually hurting them more
If you break up just let your kids no its not their fault and you love them unconditionally.

Answer 6

Pretty easy there is no affection for one another. Into doing more things without each other. Mainly hanging out more with friends or doing anything to get away from the house. And only go to events together that are related to the kids. Pretty much being loveless towards one another like you are strangers.

Answer 7

Its a Thing U both will Know But Cant tell each other.. Dere mite still be sum Sparks and other fings but Da way Ur feelings re will tell Whether ur together cos of da Kids

Answer 8

First ask this of yourself. Evaluate your true feelings and rate how you feel. Then you can do the same with your spouse. You can also sit and talk( without judging each other) to help determine where you both stand. It may even be possible to come up with some suggestions that may make the marriage more interesting.

Answer 9

When it's almost time for the other to get home from work and instead of being happy that they are going to be home so you can see them, you dread it. You wish they would stop off at the store (or anywhere) just to take longer to get home. Seeing that person isn't exciting or thrilling anymore. When that person gets on your nerves. And you can't think of anything you like/love about that person. When It's easy to sleep without that person.

Answer 10

Get some marriage counceling and quick. All things can be healed. Sometime marriage becomes boring because one or the both of you aren't going out of your way everyday to show that you love eachother. Life becomes routine and the spark gets lost.

Answer 11

You will know when that loving feeling is just no longer there...you&your man knows each other long way back before you were blessed with children so if there's change in that regard between you and him as a couple, one if not both of you will certainly feel that.