2006-08-06 22:04:13 · 11 answers · asked by d_jewel 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Some people lie to make themselves more impressive to others - they lack self-esteem. Is that her problem? Help her to see that not only is lying not necessary to impress others, it often backfires at the worst times, and in the worst ways.
2006-08-06 22:09:17 · answer #1 · answered by virgoascendant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make your friend do anything but you could be encouraging dishonest communication.
If you want to keep the friendship, make sure they have no reason to lie to you. If you tend to go on and on, nagging or otherwise, about something they do...stop. If you blab their secrets, stop. If you think you might be putting conditions on the friendship, stop. If you simply don't accept the person for who they are...stop. It may be that YOU are not being realistic about who you expect your friend to be, and the lying is a part of trying to live up to that expectation. If you do any of these things and the person has a hard time with friendships...well, maybe you are all they have and they aren't trying to lose you.
Of course the lying may be part of the reason they don't have other friends. And you shouldn't have to put up with it either. I am not accusing you of anything, just giving you some things to think about if this friendship is important to you.
If this is NOT something you are playing into somehow...well, then you have to decide how big of a deal the lies are to you. Personally, I think you are either a truthful person or you are not. I don't make too much distinction between lies, glossing over, overdramatizing, exaggerations, white lies, fibs, half truths, whoppers, fish tales, tall tales, and lies of omission...but I try to be forgiving when I can and give people the benefit of the doubt that even a dishonest person can be a good person and that a relationship with a person who is often a liar can be rewarding. (Ever seen the movie Big Fish? All about exaggerations about a man's father's life.)
Is your friend lying about little things that are insignificant, embellishing stories, sparing others' feelings by omitting hurtful truths? Could be no big deal, a creative or people pleasing type person...OR could be pathological lying that constitutes a mental health condition. If it is big whopper stuff, it could be any number of things rooted in insecurity...or it could be avoiding responsibility or trouble or could be maliciously trying to deceive people for personal gain at someone else's expense.
I would say in general, friends are supposed to be trustworthy, no matter what the reason is for feeling the need to lie about things. If this bothers you a lot, and you want to confront your friend, tell them you value honesty and that you are willing to do your part to promote that in the friendship, expecting honesty in return. If they can't hang with that...well, you have every right to move on and let this friend go.
2006-08-07 05:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by musicimprovedme 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know the story about the boy who cried wolf, no? Try ignoring your friend and make her feel how it's like not to be trusted anymore. She just might change her mind about lying. Regaining someone's trust is not an easy work, you know?
2006-08-07 05:21:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mike N. D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you dont believe her.... she'll either feel bad and tell you the truth... or she'll get mad and say that she's not lying... in other words, she is. I dont think this will make her stop lying, but it sure will get her to stop playing games with you.
2006-08-07 05:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by Chicadee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but you can put a stop to being subjected to the lying if you stop being his/her friend.
2006-08-07 05:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by WhyAskWhy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight out when you know she's lying: "You are lying!Lying is a disease, stop it!!!Once you start a lie, you cant stop!!"
2006-08-07 10:25:42 · answer #6 · answered by Jade22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know, i had the same problem. My best friend used to tell me the biggest lies.
I know this may seem like the lowest thing to do, but lie to her. Show her how it feels, but tell her afterwords.
It may not work, but u cud sure try.
Or just confront him/her....
2006-08-07 05:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by The Great Disappointment 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut their tongue out.
Put duct tape across the mouth.
Superglue the mouth shut.
Keep her mouth full of food.
Sew her mouth shut.
Of course I would never do any of those things myself.
2006-08-07 05:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by kriend 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BUST HER OUT so she can learn her lesson...just kidding i have the same problem so i would like to know too.
2006-08-07 05:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by Linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya stop hanging around with that person
2006-08-07 10:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by tony b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋