That's always their answer to something "we buy you so many things and ...etc" Is it just me ? I appreciated the things they buy for me but I rarely feel the "love" esp. from mother and she is the main one using that excuse. I am 17, don't they think I know this?! I'm not stupid. I just need to vent. I rather have none of this stuff and feel loved by her.
2006-08-06 20:19:59 · 15 answers · asked by uglyvanity 3 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Well, to the first answerer it's not really my dad, he does care for us but he is usually afraid to step up and say something about how horrible of a mother is because my mother is a very angry woman. He has done it before and she broke the windows and threw the phone at the vase. So I know he does care, I always feel the care from him and I feel loved by him most of the time now.
2006-08-06 20:25:40 · update #1
The thing is I AM a good child. Good grades, I do not do anything bad, I'm in the house most of the time and she is always ranting and raving about me. But she also does this to my sister and my father. But she tears me down like I am some bad person, so far I am a liar, selfish, and ignorant. Even when I'm trying to be giving she takes it as if I'm only offering it to her because of some negative reason
2006-08-06 20:27:49 · update #2
It's a hard thing to understand. My parents were like that, too. Some people have a hard time connecting and use material goods as a measure because it's the only thing they can do. To them, it is time. The time they couldn't spend with you because they were too tired from working, the time they had to stay late or risk losing their job. Most of that time they would rather have spent with you. In a round about way, that's what they're saying. Try to accept it for what it is. I know that there are many things that you would put on a would rather list, but know that they do the best they can. Okay, just read additional details. Your mom sounds a little more stressed out that the norm. Maybe you shoud tak to your dad and get counseling for the rest of the family, if not mom, then maybe it could help the rest of you to deal with her.
2006-08-06 20:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
fighting with the parents, 17, hmmmm, where have I heard this story before.
Why don't you just give your mom a hug on the way by sometime and if she asks why just say "just because"!
Sometimes we just get to familiar with the people around and "material" things overtake us all. Things like making sure everybody has a place to sleep, and enough to eat and more, always more. More for the house, more for the car more for everything.
Shock her with a hug, you both deserve one.
edit OK , I take back what i said, get yourself a baseball bat and kneecap the old bag, two good swings and she is down, really,
Not a good plan, then talk to your dad about this and how it is for you. Think first though about whether you have a temper too.
2006-08-06 20:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first you have to realize that your parents were raised in a completely different time, when things were a lot different. So they were obviously raised in a very different way than most people are raised today, so it is very likely that they did not recieve a lot of love from their parents and therefore feel that should try to raise their children in the same fashion with a little bit of modern culture thrown in, and modern culture is very materialistic, therefore the way they raised you was a mixture of two loveless time periods. But look at the bright side, at least you're almost 18 and old enough to get the hell out of that place! Ha ha, wow so much bullshit in such a short period of time. At least it all sounded smart, maybe it will convince someone,lol.
2006-08-06 20:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by gothboylovur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the society we live in is centred around material things. It could be one of many reasons, maybe your mom didnt have anything as a child and wants "better" for you or.
maybe her parents loved her with money. Because they work long hours and spend little time with their kids they feel guilty. I think it comes into play because they have to work long hours to make money and their guilt ensures that they buy lots of stuff for their kids.
I suggest you speak to your mom. Its not going to be easy, but she wont know any better unless you say something, if you dont want to talk to her face to face - a letter will do just fine! Just know that your parents love you, they may just be a little confused about showing that love.
good luck.
2006-08-06 20:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by tay_jen1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a bribe and shows a weakness in understanding. Parents are over occupied with trying to support their family by working that they think that is their want of giving love. They know it's not really love, but are just burnt out. They need to take a long vacation to get reconnected with the spiritual world and you. It happens to me sometimes, I'm a parent. i feel my kids are ungrateful sometimes when they keep asking me for things.
2006-08-06 20:25:13 · answer #5 · answered by Mustafa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is because they are working to provide you with all the things you need so that you could have ambright future and so that you would be happy.
I don'treally know what's going on with your mom and you but maybe she is only trying to tell you that to point out that they are only working and doing things for you and only you.
The best advice is to have a one-on-one talk with your parents in a calm mood and also be open-minded. Listen before you react.
2006-08-06 20:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by vincentb88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they bring up material possessions, they are probably thinking of the sacrifices that they had to make to buy those things for you. Sacrifice=love... some parents have a hard time showing love in affectionate ways or even verbally, but if they sacrifice much to make you happy, then you should feel special!
2006-08-06 20:24:05 · answer #7 · answered by ciaguy07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear 17
When You get 21 You will understand . Your Mom raised You the Best She could Kids take a lot of money to rasie so Thank Her now She Loves You.
2006-08-06 20:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by canivieu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thast just parenting, beelive me I was 17 once and i ahted my mom trying to control me. She would let me do whatever I wanted and then turn around and try to tell me not to do this or not to do that. At the time I ddint see why, but now that i'm a adult (25) I can toltally see that she was right in what she did.
2006-08-06 20:24:29 · answer #9 · answered by chicata25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should write a letter about your feelings to your mum and state your case about spending time with her.
Ideas for you and her to spend time together ,just simple things like doing the dishes together,sitting at the dinner table or playing a board game.
2006-08-06 20:28:32 · answer #10 · answered by charlcath 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋