I corresponded with this man for 6 monthes over e-mail. In that time, a beautiful relationship blossomed. We talked on the phone and then met, and really hit it off. I mean REALLY. He told I was like no one he has ever met before. And then he started asking me questions like " If I asked you to marry me right now would you?" and " If I got you pregnant, would you keep the baby", and we have not even had sex yet. This was like on our third date. I asked why he asked, and he said he just wanted to know how commited I was to him. Then right after that he told me, if I wanted a girlfriend right now, it would be you, but I am not ready. Now he has thrown himself into his work, and I have not heard from him for a while. He has been in several heartbreaking relationships including the last one in which his heart and his dignity were severely damaged. I have told him I will wait for him because he is a good friend to me and I want a future with him, but could someone please just explain this?
2006-08-06 20:08:46 · 9 answers · asked by Rose 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
For the record, our realtionship is currently plutonic. He said he wants to wait to have intimate relations with me "because he does not want mess things up"
2006-08-06 20:10:03 · update #1
He sounds like he is just fishing... ask him back commitment questions and see what he answers...
Words alone are not enough... dont let him smooth talk you.. IS he actually committed in actions? Discover that and you;ll find you answer
2006-08-06 20:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sheila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, you have grown to care about this man. Sounds like the questions he asked you were his way of getting to know you. He means it when he says he is not ready for a girlfriend right now. Believe him! If you are interested in just having a friendship with him, fine. But, if you want to continue dating him romantically, take his hint and understand that he's just not that into you and move on.
2006-08-06 20:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by MegMaher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this guy is taking it step by step, he may not want to make the same mistakes again wht he has doen in the past by taking it fast and then realising that that it is a mistake, so take it easy girl, take it one step at a time, be friends hang out together, you and he will realise if youll are ment to be just freinds or more than freinds without hurting each other good luck.
2006-08-06 20:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by haboba13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to say, but when a guys says he is not ready for a relationship its an excuse and he is really saying that he only likes you as a friend. when a guy meets and really falls for a girl, past relationships dont matter. you saying that you would wait for him, gives him all the control, and guys like being in control. if you really like him and want more, tell him you cant wait forever. you have a life too. oh and remember, no matter how nice he seems, he is a guy and will still play games like this.
2006-08-06 20:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obiously both of you want difrent things.Its normal when you are dating for a man or Woman to ask simple questions like that .sometimes it just makes others wonder but don't take it so deep. If he has gotten hurt in the past then just don't bother and hurt him the same depending on his past relationship it takes alot of time to heal And I think that is what he needs before he gets atached to you.Let him call you .When he does that is when he is ready.
2006-08-06 20:21:20 · answer #5 · answered by shasilk67 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the most confusing set of mixed signals that I have ever heard. Continue to talk to him and be supportive if he is someone you truly want to be with..... At the same time, don't be nagging or needy about the situation. Remember to take care of your needs also and by that I mean, if it seems hopeless or futile, then move on. Good luck to you :)
2006-08-06 20:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by Porterhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a good friend to you, continue that friendship. Time will tell. Good friends are hard to find. The feelings between you will either grow or wither on the vine. Good luck.
2006-08-06 20:18:25 · answer #7 · answered by R. F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been my experience that when you meet that someone special...it doesn't matter if you've been hurt before...it doesn't matter if there are other things you want to accomplish before you get into a relationship...nothing else matters BUT being with that person...If I was you...I wouldn't believe him....sorry, that's just my opinion...
2006-08-06 20:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump his sorry ***
2006-08-06 20:13:51 · answer #9 · answered by featherman_65018 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋