My best friend just miscarried and I do not know what to say or do to help her. Please help me?

Question

She called me a few minutes ago. I do not know what to do. Her husband is with her, so should I just wait until she calls to tell me to be there?

Answer 1

Call her back and ask her if she'd like you to come over, even tho you already know that she may have simply needed to hear your voice for comfortl. This might be more important if her husband is at a loss for words and is equally devestated..by calling back and asking if you can go over she will set the stage and by the tone of her voice you should be able to tell how sincere her "oh no I'm okay" response sounds. Personally, she needs contact with you whether in person or on the phone...either is just as important...honestly, there really isn't much to say except you are sorry to learn of it and that you are there for her, for anything. The old standby's of "oh you can always have another one" or "it was God's way of getting rid of a bad pregnancy" or the it was meant to be thing...stay away from any of these types of comments.

Honestly, those don't make anyone who has had a miscarriage feel much better. In fact, I've had people say that these types of comments are almost as tho people are dismissing the fact that the person was even pregnant or that, that pregnancy was even significant.

Indeed, this is a difficult time...she is going to morn this baby as much as if she had lost him/her after birth. Just let her know that like her husband, you are there for her and you will help her in any way you can.

During this time so soon afterwards, it may be a nice gesture to make up a few meals for hubby if he isn't self sufficient :), bring your friend something soothing for a long soak in the tub if she is able to. If you are into it and she's okay with it, offer to give her a massage...she'll loosen up physically and mentally. You don't have to say much during this session...this is therapy for her.

Watch for her...keep in touch for the next few weeks to ensure she isn't slipping into depression...this is a pretty common thing for some. If this happens to be the case, get her hubby to call the obgyn and mention her mood...he may be able to perscribe something to help her through or suggest some things that can be done to help her.

You are a good friend and she knows this...but right now she isn't paying attention to much. If she really wanted this child (some don't and see miscarriage as a blessing oddly enough), she will be in a tough way for awhile...you are there for her and she knows and sees it...she'll be okay, you and her hubby will see to it.

Take care and now, go give her a quick call

Answer 2

Just let her know that if she needs anything, you'll be there for her. Sometimes just knowing you're there will make her feel better. You can always call her, she'll appreciate you checking up on her, you can ask her if she needs anything or if she just needs someone to talk to. She may not need anything but knowing that you took time to make sure she is okay will help.

Answer 3

This is tough,
Call and let her know you would like to know when you could come over and talk.

Your time together should be just the two of you.
Hold her hand,hug her,and the two of you have a long cry.
I am very sorry to hear this,tell your friend she will be in my thoughts

Answer 4

Tell her you want to come over on some pretext. Then see her and observe how she looks. Talk about what's going on and mutual friends and how you are doing.

If she says anything, ask follow on questions to keep her talking.

She needs your friendship whether she knows that or not. She DOES NOT NEED to talk about her feelings -- which are devastated.

Answer 5

can't you get it? she aleady called you once, it means she needs you.. don't wait that she will say first that you should come. do it now. give your support and make them feel that you want to help and encourage your friend to be strong

Answer 6

I say you should go and try to make her feel better. Let her know that you're there for her.