My baby's father and I have a very turbulent relationship. He broke up with me shortly (a week) after I found out we were expecting a child. I was 15 weeks at the time.
He has been very uninvolved ever since and one of the biggest stress factors i have to deal with. We rarely ever speak but when we do it is to fight over paternal rights he thinks he is entitiled to yet wishes none of the actual responsibilities.
Being in the hospital has always been a very stressful thing for me and I doubt very seriously that having a c-section is going to be any easier. I don't want him anywhere near me while I am in the hospital. I dont think it would be healthy but I DO NOT want to deny him access to our child.
He's not a bad person, he just makes bad choices, he's mentally ill , chemically dependent (in recovery for over 2 years now!) and has a lot of growing up to do. I dont want him there. My question is: Was your father present at your birth? If not why? and does it affect you negatively?
2006-08-06 19:12:59 · 15 answers · asked by arieldreams2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The doctor wasn't even present. It was Thanksgiving and I was born in the hallway on the way to the delivery room. You know what, I don't think that is one of those things that would affect me one way or the other. Why would I care if he was standing there? It isn't like I remember it. And being a divorce statistic family means that my father being in the delivery room seems so small fry in comparison.
2006-08-06 19:17:25 · answer #1 · answered by flyingbumblebee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he didn't. Why, hmm.. I believe, back then it wasn't common for the father to get into the delivering room. No, it didn't affect me negatively.
You shouldn't have to worry too much about it. He hasnt expressed his will to accompany you when you're giving a birth to your child right? I don't know, maybe, just maybe, him being there watching his child get born, will help him to be more mature as a human being. Cos a child is a child right, there's gotta be a paternal instinct even a lil.
What you can do is that you go and start over build a relationship with the father of your child, you dont have to be romantically involved, but try to create that healthy parenting environment for your child.
Good luck.
2006-08-07 02:24:28 · answer #2 · answered by shinta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He don't have to be in the room with you when you are having the baby.
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me when I was 5 months pregnant with my first daughter. I was only 17 yrs. old. I wanted him to be there but he didn't want too. His mom made him come to the hospital and wait outside my room. After I had my daughter, the nurse took her to the nursery so he could at least see and hold her. Without having to deal with me.
So just let him go to the nursery and see the baby. That way he can still see his child. And you ain't being the bad guy and not letting him up there. Maybe once he sees his little baby, maybe then he will change his mind and want to work on your relationship.
Good Luck! I hope you have a happy and healthy baby.
2006-08-07 02:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by armywifeoftony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father was present for my birth, and also for my conception!
but that was from a different time,(the 50's) people were diferent then. Sorry about the lack of attention you and your child are experiencing. Its sad that a man wouldnt want to be a part of his childs life and well being.I dont think he desrves any paternal right till he can prove that he hais worthy of them, if ever. Find a good man to help raise your child.
2006-08-07 02:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by Big hands Big feet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father wasn't at my birth, it is more of a modern thing hospitals do. I doubt very highly this affects the child one way or another. I think the stress of having him there when you don't want it would be worse.
2006-08-07 02:18:28 · answer #5 · answered by Nicktu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want him in the delivery room you should have that wish met. Any procedure which take alot from you should have your best interests at heart. My father was not in the delivery room when I was born and it has not affected me at all. Not having him in the roon for your C- section is not dening the child it's father. He will be there the rest of his life if he chooses to. But in that moment it is about you and need for peace. So do what is best for you.
2006-08-07 02:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by doshidoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Iam very sorry for the situation.
I am having the both still today.
Don't worry time will solve your problem.
Be prepare mentally, and don't leave your will power and you may be go ahead with the problems by the god sake.
2006-08-07 02:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by Somi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was, and it makes me glad that he was there to see me breath my first breath. this gives me a feeling of security knowing that he'll always be there for me. i would recomend having the father there. and was your father there for your birth...and either way, how did it make you feel? that should put some things insto perspective.
2006-08-07 02:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes was there. but i think by letting him b there it 'll wake up a kind of responsibilities he have to deal with in future that's for ur baby as not to blame you ever.
2006-08-07 02:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tota 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my father was there at my birth.
2006-08-07 05:13:01 · answer #10 · answered by Peaches06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋