my husband and I have been together for 13 years but only been married for 10 and we have 2 kids , but I feel that we are falling apart , we dont really talk or have our intimate moments or really kiss, or love eachother like we use to , I know that we are fadeing away from eathother , but I guess our kids are becoming the glue that holds us together , I really want a divorce , but he won't I don;t get it , our love is lost what should I do??????????????
2006-08-06 19:11:43 · 20 answers · asked by E.M. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sounds like what i'm going thru it may be the kids holding you in the marriage if your terribly miserable and you already digusted this with him and he still hasn't met you half-way to rekindle a spark then he's probably not worth all the hurt,make sure if and when you do end this marriage that you have a good plan set before you do and for your kids sake make sure it's truly the best thing for all of u.
2006-08-06 19:42:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any particular reason that your feelings for your husband is diminishing? Is it because he spends less time with you or are the both of you too busy with yourselves.
Marriage is a sacred unity where we hope to spend the rest of our lives together in happiness. Marriage has its ups and downs and having no time is no excuse and divorce is suppose to be the last and final resort.
Find out why the feelings you had for each other had simply disappeared after 13 years. You know, just because you're married for so many years, it doesn't mean you guys do not have to spend your time together and do romantic things like when you were younger. Couples need more attention from their partners the longer they know each other. Of course raising kids are a chore and takes up most of your time but don't say that you can't even spare at least 20 minutes for your partner each day.
However, if the reason you are feeling this way is because either one of you is having an affair, then you guys have to have a talk (and I mean talk, not scream) and tell each other whether you want to give the marriage another try and bond, or take a decision to stay with your new "loved one" and discuss how things are going to be done if you really get a divorce. It will be hard for the kids but letting them know of the situation instead of keeping them in the dark will be a much wiser choice for the future. But whatever it is, respect each other no matter what happens and don't badmouth each other.
2006-08-07 02:31:21 · answer #2 · answered by Dina_Effiana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You clearly said you really want a divorce. Does this mean you aren't willing to try to resolve the problems in your marriage? Is it possible that the two of you could use some time alone without the kids...Maybe you could take up a sport, or hobby that the two of you could enjoy together, maybe rekindle a little romance in the process. If you answered no to all of these suggestions, then maybe you need to move on. Don't ever stay together for the sake of the kids. They grow up and have lives of their own, while you will be left in an unhappy marriage. My best advise is...all you can do is try your best to save your marriage before you just give up, then you can always walk away knowing you gave it your best! Good luck!
2006-08-07 02:22:59 · answer #3 · answered by MegMaher 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love how every thing said is how nothing works and then you come out and say I want a Divorce. I think that is the reason you and your husband are not close, don't talk and are not having those intimate moments. You never stated if you are your hubby have tried talking or working on getting our marriage back on tracks.
Seems you already decided you are going to get a divorce. Do what ever you wish but your not getting my permission without even trying. Its your decision ONLY. To Walk or Not...
2006-08-07 03:37:28 · answer #4 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the only reason your marriage is crumbling is because you don't talk or have intimate moments then those are really weak reasons to demand a divorce.
You should talk to your husband and address these problems that have arose. Ask him if he has noticed the differences. Perhaps he hasn't and just thinks the 2 of you are buys raising children.
You have not said that you wanted to make attempts to salvage this marriage. You should do so, the pain inflicted on your children will be far worse than whatever seems to be making you "bored" these days.
2006-08-07 02:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your husband will constantly change throughout the course of your marriage, including how you relate to each other day to day. Be patient, you will work out these problems, and things will be better. See if he will talk to you about why he has become so distant. It could be something at work.Take an honest look at yourself and how you treat him. Could you make any improvements?
I say hang in there. In the meantime, try and find something you like to do on your own, and don't look to him for your happiness. Go to a gym, volunteer, take a class. If you need to talk, talk to your girlfriends. He may become interested in you again, once he sees you have other interests.
p.s. I have been married for 20 years, and we were together for 6 years before that. There have been good times and bad times, and we got through them all, eventually.
2006-08-07 02:50:24 · answer #6 · answered by Looped 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woman, its not that you have lost your love. It the process of life I think. Its very natural that we feel bored and sometime irritated by someone whom we have been seeing for 10 over years. It very very common. There are very few couple in this world whom love each other till the day they are in their deathbed. For your case, if you were to give up on the marriage now, i bet you will regret your decision in the near future. You will feel lost without your hubby around you. It has been your daily rountine. Why don't I suggest this, take a break from all the housechores, the children and of cos your hubby, go for a short trip with a few good friends or perhaps alone. Relax yourself mentally and physically. Cheers
2006-08-07 02:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by flo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does happen almost for every one. It isn't that always all are spending the same way. There can be many reasons. You can try and understand. Talk together. In any case think of the children. Spend time with them. Or try to concentrate and spend time on your hobbies. The falling apart may be temporary.
But it is for you to decide together keeping the circumustances.
2006-08-07 02:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by Mr Fact 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there is still a spark in this relationship.It just takes two to fix it . If you want to get a divorce remember to think about your kids first .Its not easy for kids to live with divorce parents .And its not a healthy relationship if there is no love .I think you two should worck things out for your kids .Get counceling make him talk to you .Send the kids away to spend a alone time just the two of you .Start by dressing up sexy for him candles make dinner and trust me you will get something of it. Good luck .
2006-08-07 03:15:30 · answer #9 · answered by shasilk67 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to find it again... don't give up on it... it's not impossible and it is still there you just have to light that pilot light... Please don't give up. I hate to see good marraiges go to waste, try to remember why you got together... make time for the two of you. Send the kids away for a weekend and spend the whole time doing absolutly nothing but hanging out with him... you have to find one another and rekindle that love.... be gentle with it... its a delicate thing. but you both have to want to.... and darlin if this man doesn't want a divorce it means he Loves you... and doesn't want you to go anywhere... no one ever said marraige is easy and that sounds cliche but it is the truth... and most importantly pray about it.
I will as well.... it is not too late!!!!!
2006-08-07 02:19:17 · answer #10 · answered by doll face 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋