I mean if you and your spouse are not getting along.. and nothing yet has helpped.. How do you stay with them love them and respect them . with out getting mad or hurt when they do something to you like yell at you or make you feel like they dont care anymore...??????
2006-08-06 18:50:52 · 7 answers · asked by Jerika E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well if u cant say anything nice don't say nothing and try saying nice things see if that person is sweet nice and Soo.... on email me me and ill tell u more of your problem..... my email is anaaaca@yahoo.com
2006-08-06 18:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by zupa Krazii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
gee wish i could help you there i have been married now for 4 years....I married my high school sweet heart and i had it all planned out we were going to be the couple who really live "happily ever after" boy that didn't last long......
It takes a lot of work though the first year a marriage was not doubt the hardest.....it already feels like we have been married for ages and we haven't......i know it takes 2 to make a marriage work....try to think about what your going to say before you say it.....(i know its hard) but if u feel like an argument is coming on go take a walk or go listen to music just leave each other alone til you have calmed down....then talk to him tell him it hurts ur feelings when he yells at you, and that u think he doesn't care how he treats you anymore......And that just b/c your married doesn't mean he can stop caring.......maybe y'all should go away together or if u cant......spend a couple days doing whatever y'all liked to do together before y'all got married.....
ITS ALL ABOUT COMPROMISE.........I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE TO YOU THIS IS THE EXACT STUFF I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH GOOD LUCK......
2006-08-06 19:03:04 · answer #2 · answered by Do I know you? ya right LoL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 23 years when the priest says for better or worse sometimes the worse is a nightmare. I have learned that marriage is the toughest job you will ever have. many many pitfalls but bailing out (divorce) in my mind is not an option. Even if you do second marrriages failure rate is higher than first marriages. I have discovered leaving the house and going for a walk when the insults,name calling ,screaming etc starts or take a drive works great. when I come back more often than not we both have cooled down and can talk. hope this helps
2006-08-06 19:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by HENNY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Model your communication on a couple your respect. If your spouse hurts your feelings, let them know in a non-aggressive way. Say, "It hurt my feeling when you yelled at me earlier after I was late picking you up" (or whatever). Many times when I am hurt by something my spouse does, I think it must be intentional, but when I confront him in a reasonable way, I realize it is a misunderstanding or I am overreacting. It saves us a LOT of fights and sets a pattern for fair communication.
Be honest and direct, and focus on the things you love about him. When you are mad at him, think of five things you like about him. If you stay focused on the reason you married him, it will help take you out of the frustrating everyday irritations and remind you of why he is special.
What you are saying is totally normal, and it happens during the transition between the honeymoon stage and the rest of your life. It sounds like you are already on the right track by starting to think about it and search for way to keep your marriage healthy.
2006-08-06 19:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by MissM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk about YOUR feelings. Never talk about HIM. Only talk about yourself. Feelings are not and cannot be wrong. Tell him how you feel and tell him what makes you happy and feels good.
Sure, there will be times when living together will take it's toll. It is at these times, where we must take care of "SELF" and do things for ourselves. Go out and watch a movie. Go to a friends house. Do things on your own. But, balance it. Don't be ADDICTED to your husband or be 100% DEPENDANT.
2006-08-06 18:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by jimjones3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all starts with communication, thats how you got married, so use it to stay married.
2006-08-06 18:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need some help but please try www.lovingyou.com am sure it can help you try to relight the flame between both of you
2006-08-06 18:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by secret &trade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋