My girlfriend and I agreed long ago not to have sex until we're married and we still follow that today. However, we do mess around and such doing other things but often times this leads her to start feeling bad about doing it and such and we stop.
Does anyone else feel bad either while doing sexual things or afterwards? If so, what things in particular push your towards this?
Thanks!
2006-08-06 18:46:38 · 10 answers · asked by John R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Unfortunately..I was engaged myself, and I've been into that situation as well.. wait until we're married, and we fooled around also.. one thing lead to another, and we eventually did have sex.
The relationship itself went down the $hitter, and I do regret that I slept with him seeing how I wanted my husband to be the first, yet he had the opportunity.
She could be nervous that something will eventually lead to sex..personally I was nervous myself, cause it was a first for me for everything, and I felt bad that I didn't wait until after I was married.
I totally regret doing so, and it's my own stupidity. I'd sugguest fighting temptation, and don't give the oportunity to sleep with someone before marriage.
Not everything revolves around sex, I'd sugguest cutting out the foreplay for now, and start considering the next step..if you love her, and she feels the same.. then I'd go for the ring..so on and so fourth :)
2006-08-06 19:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by xx_ladyxluck_xx 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't have an answer for you, but good job on the saving it for marriage. I admire that and the way you respect your girlfriend's feelings and back off when she says.
My only advice would be to talk and set definite limits as to how much sex play you will allow (once a week, maybe?) and how far it should go. I would say less is better. Take the time to get to know each other as people now. Later you will have time for all the physical stuff.
2006-08-06 18:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is, if you are going to be chaste, be chaste. If you're gonna fool around, just get the pants off and get the deed done. If you go half way, all you are doing is a plain ordinary crappy job of either option. You're not really getting any of the benefits of a sexual relationship, nor are you gaining the benefit of having something truly new and special to experience on your wedding night. Make your choice and stick with it man and if you can't, what hell are you doing talking about getting married?
2006-08-06 18:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny Canuck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The feelings she's having is just guilt. You see, sex is something intimate for a married couple. When you have sex with your partner, you do it because you love them, and because you feel accepted by them. When you and your girlfriend just "mess around" there aren't any real emotions there. It's just lust. So she feels guilty for being used just to get off. Slowly but surely you are turning her into an object used to get off. I imagine you love her a lot, but messing around isn't going to be the answer for you. Just occupy yourself by going to the movies, doing house work together, cuddling, walking, exersising, ect. Do you really want the woman you love to just be a sex toy?
2006-08-06 18:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by c_w_b_21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You placed a border and it is getting hard to maintain. I did something similar and it only gave me frustrations. Its like it would have been better if the whole sex thing had not been started but since it is started anything to stem the tide is very hard. My advice talk to her sincerely clear the borders I think the limits being out and out penetration would be fine. or whatever you agree upon.
2006-08-06 18:54:39 · answer #5 · answered by brahman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a gift. It's supposed to feel good, not bad. If you cannot feel good about enjoying this with one another at this time, you should wait until you can. Don't do anything that's going to make you feel guilty and taint your relationship.
Talk about specific things that you can do guilt-free, and don't pressure or tempt one another to do any of the "forbidden" things.
2006-08-06 18:56:50 · answer #6 · answered by Novice restauranteur 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you guys go to church? It sounds to me like God is dealing with both of you about this and you are each feeling conviction from your mess'n around. If you continue to do this you will end up having sex. At that point all your waiting and trying to control it will be lost. Once you go there there's no going back. Does that matter to you? I think it does. Would you feel better about yourselves and each other if you stopped tempting each other? I think you would. Listen to that small-still voice you're hearing and talk about this with her. Take the leadership role and tell her it has to stop. And take responsibility for it. Afterwords you can congratulate yourself for growing up about ten years and stepping up to the plate for God. This stuff matters to Him, you, and her.
2006-08-06 18:58:29 · answer #7 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i grew to become into youthful while Ihad my first newborn and that i grew to become into sooo drained the full time. i could awaken eat breakfast bypass returned to mattress and eat supper than returned to mattress. I wasn't that way in any respect with any next pregnancies. i think of it is common and probably a usual being pregnant factor too. I had no pastime then the two. i think of it is likewise universal to have a suppressed pastime in the 1st trimester and then it form of comes returned later on in the being pregnant till you're quite fatiqued than it may not till after.
2016-11-04 01:04:29 · answer #8 · answered by jenniffer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away to Vegas and get married.
2006-08-06 18:51:38 · answer #9 · answered by Pseudo Obscure 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just stay with the wait till she is ready
2006-08-06 18:50:33 · answer #10 · answered by rashel h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋