I have a question about relationships ...?

Question

My dad is in the progress of getting divorced. He is living basically alone in Tucson... This has led to him settling for numerous horrible women. There is one in particular who is ruining his life. She keeps on yelling at him for no reason, drinking till drunk, and not showing up for prearranged plans. My dad and her have been on the rocks for a while now but for some reason he keeps on going back to this woman. I have to give her credit -she can be really nice sometimes-- but on the whole she is terrible. How can I convince my dad that he doesn't have to settle for a woman like this... He has gotten an eharmony account... but still goes back to this evil devilwoman... please help!! I just want him happy

Here are vexamples of the crazy things she pulls:
1. He invited her to a weekend to Long Beach (big racecar thing) and she said yes sure she will go. So he spends 600 dollars to get her tickets and the day before she decides she doesn't want to go anymore... lovely woman.
2. He calls her on the phone to see how she is. It was like 11 AM and it was the first time he had called her that day. She says she feels sick and is vomitting so she has to go. She later calls back yelling at him for calling while she was sick... because yeah he is psychic and would know.
3. They get into a fight and decide that the relationship is through (she is drunk). My dad had been borrowing her truck to move stuff. At 4:00 she says she wants it back at her house by 5. So he goes ok Im taking it back to your house now. at 4:15 she calls to say that she is reporting the truck as stolen to the police... THIS WOMAN IS TERrrible!.

Answer 1

he'll never listen to you, let him learn the hard way.

Answer 2

I feel the problem is that he is already dating before his divorce is final. I see and hear again and again, people in a huge rush for a new relationship before the old has even ended. Really, how can he have a clear head and heart to be able to choose at this point in time? This might have something to do with how he feels about his divorce, we don't know the reasons so it is hard to say why he would deal with a woman like this. Did he have alot of ups and downs while married? You really can't convince your Dad who to choose as he is an adult, but maybe if he can open up to you a little and shed some light as to why he is attracted to this type of woman. I would be trying to convince Dad to take some time to be alone and figure out what he really wants in life during the divorce process. He is probably feeling alot of different emotions and will need to deal with them before he really knows what he wants. Good luck...you sound like a great daughter to have.

Answer 3

Its called s e x and until he finds someone else that will fill that need he will keep going back to this woman. She provides for his need and she knows that she can treat him bad the rest of the time if she gives him what he is looking for at the other times. I think she is using him for the same thing which is just someone to be close to in a sexual way and the rest of the time they really don't what each others company.

He just needs to meet someone that is nice and that will fill everything your Dad wants at this time in his life.

I am not trying to be mean just honest.

Then BEST thing about all this is for you to learn from what you are seeing and apply it to your life and personal relationships in the future.

Don't EVER settle for someone that does not treat you nice. Even when you have been with someone for years you still need to treat them nice. Don't take them for granted and treat them as the way you would like to be treated.

Wake up every day and think of some way that you can make them feel good and it will end up making you feel good and make the relationship FUN... and that is what it is all about feeling good and having FUN or what is the point.

GOOD LUCK and Have a GREAT Monday !!

Answer 4

Maybe he feels that already having a failed marriage ,he needs to "FIX" someone.This woman ,in his eyes, needs him. And maybe he is just settling for this woman out of loneliness. Have you told him you love him and want him to be happy,but this woman seems to be blocking his road to happiness and a whole relationship with someone that will compromise with him and not be against him?He may be scared that if he moves on,he will be alone.Let him know you are there for him,no matter what.

Answer 5

I dont know how old r u, if u want to tell ur dad what u thing, why dont u choose a person who is very close to ur dad. Why I am telling this is because no one can tell the thing what they r having in their mind completely to their fathers. There is always a gap between a father and a child. So, better choose a person who is very close to ur dad

Answer 6

Sounds like he's staying in the relationship as a distraction from the pain he's feeling from the divorce. This other woman is probably "easy" to be around, in terms of not making him feel bad right now. After time, and after he heals from the divorce, he will probably find a woman who is pretty similar in character to your mother (or whomever it was he was married to).

Answer 7

It’s not your businesses. If your dad did not like who you were with you would tell him to piss off. Get out of his life and live yours. Your dad is not stupid.

Why am I saying this to you like this?. Becasue when you get older you stop giving a **** on whats right and wrong. Let him do what he wants and buzz of. Thats the best thing you can do.

Answer 8

Having dated many somewhat verbally abusive and controlling women, I can give you an honest answer. He does not feel he is entitled to better. I know because I pick the worst.

Answer 9

Well you can sit down and have a talk with him . Tell him you want him to be happy with some women who will make his life happy tweetyfour seven.

Answer 10

I know its hard to set up people but if he See's that other women are interested he will consider looking for a new lady

Answer 11

Sadly, as much as you can talk to him... and try to convince him... he won't listen unless he really wants to.. my suggestion is to let him know that he would be better off single and that you do not like how she treats you... but be supportive of him no matter what he does... I know it's hard... btu It's one of those things, as he may be one of those people that needs to get abused to feel loved...