“Old Soul”
It was something I noticed as I looked into your eyes
Mesmerized by there beauty your truth could not be disguised.
Your soft radiant face and your firm body of youth
It’s probably easy for your soul to hide one simple truth.
You’ve seen it all before, this isn’t your first
Your old soul that you have kept quietly submersed.
Your physical appeal is apparent to all
But it’s that person underneath that’s enticed my enthrall.
Your playful winks and soft charming way
Has caused my mind to become entirely astray.
With these simple words I just want you to know
It’s not your beauty but your soul that’s made me your beau.-STW
2006-08-06 17:48:32 · 5 answers · asked by scottwatras 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
thats amazing!
ur a really good writer!
keep up the good work!
2006-08-06 17:55:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 3⤋
You're verse is great. I just think that poems that just rhyme two lines are very elementary. Try writing it as a sonnet? It's almost there anyways.
The rhyme scheme of a sonnet can be:
abab cdcd efgefg or abab cdcd efefgg
2006-08-06 20:10:06 · answer #2 · answered by skybluezoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I can't criticize it because I know nothing of poetry. But just from reading it, it sounds beautiful! It rhymes well, keeps a good flow. I liked it, it was a nice, light read.
2006-08-06 21:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by jk_2k8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very beautiful
i love the last line
2006-08-06 18:09:11 · answer #4 · answered by A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice, put together openly and honestly.
2006-08-06 17:56:59 · answer #5 · answered by desert_angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋