I had to choose between this really sweet guy who truely loved me more then any other man has ever loved me (a little possesive though) or the father of my children .....and i chose the father of my children to be with. We are only together for the children and theres hardly no love between us anymore. Do you think I made the right choice?
2006-08-06 17:21:33 · 19 answers · asked by mystic_rage879 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You know, not to be coy, but truly, do YOU think you made the right choice?
Don't you ever look at your children, delight in them, and are thankful that they have their real dad around (I hope he's a good dad, or this just really falls apart)? Sure, you had a shot at more personal happiness, but you didn't take that road, and truly, how could you know if you wouldn't be asking the same question now if you had chosen him. As you yourself say, he was a little possessive...so you already admit it wouldn't have been all strawberries n cream with him.
But is all truly lost? Can't a couple realize what brought them together in the first place and figure it out? Love is a choice, after all.
2006-08-06 17:28:12 · answer #1 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honeslty no. You even think you chose the wrong guy look at your question. What is your gut feeling telling you? If it's for the children then just be sure to always show them that you love them and keep a good relationship with the father so that your children will have him around. But honestly if you just love them and show them this and take care of them as you should it should be fine. Also if you are with the person you love I'm guessing you will be happier and when you are happy that will transfer into what you do throughout the day and how you act. So your own happiness can also benefit your children.
2006-08-06 17:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by ѕомєопєѕ▪ ваву ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you made a wrong choice. First of all, neither one is the guy for you. The sweet guy as you say, is a little possessive. Soon that would have turned into very possessive. Then the father of your children does not love you and that's not good for you or the children in the long run. What will that teach your children when they are grown and have to choose someone to be with. Things like this though we often overlook them will stick with a child for their lifetime.
2006-08-06 17:31:29 · answer #3 · answered by Shelle Rock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you married? It might not be too late to change your mind.
Obviously you think there is still a chance because you asked us. So I would say you should go with the man that is the best for you and your kids. Even though the guy you are with now is the father, I think there is no reason to stay together if there is no love. That will be hard on the kids in the long run.
Also, it probably depends on the age of the kids and who they know as their father. Older kids can say more about what they think about both of these guys than babies can (obviously). Ask them, if you can, what they think.
2006-08-06 17:34:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless the father is abusive, I've always thought that no one other than the natural father or mother can love a child the way they need to be loved. Besides you must of loved the father at some point to be married, and have children with him. Remember love may not be as exciting after time unless you make it back into exciting.
2006-08-06 17:27:53 · answer #5 · answered by Merry P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. As parents. you are responsible for molding your children to evolve into the best possible human beings they could be. Children are not stupid. They will see that the relationship between you and this man is not warm and loving and that is the example you will set for them. Just because 2 people stay under the same roof does not mean the relationship did not fail. Think about the whole picure here.
2006-08-06 17:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by evonne i 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's such a good choice. I think that a loveless relationship like that wouldn't be any good for the children. I think it sets a bad example. Would this other guy be happy to be a step-dad to your children??? If he loves you as much as he says he does, then why didn't you choose him. Not only would it give a better example to the children, it would also make them feel more secure knowing that their parents are in a lving relationship.. It would give them something to look forward to later on in life... hope this is helpful!!!
2006-08-06 18:01:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you have children, its a life long connection, either love him or leave him. Only you know if you made the right choice, but if you are only with him because of the kids, think about this: If you are not in love with your baby daddy, and you are just going thru the motions, what will your kids believe; 'being in love is all about' ?
2006-08-06 17:29:22 · answer #8 · answered by Rick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No...just because you have children dont mean you have to go back to him. If he lost out on your love then he lost out on every thing you ever had to offer to him. I think you should have gone with the guy who truly loved you because he would have loved your children just as much as you did and would love you and show you the respect you deserve. Its never to late to go back and make the right decision, if the other guy still loves you explain to him why you did what you did...and ask him if he still has room in hdis heart to love you and your children the way you deserve it. I wish you blessings in the long run...
2006-08-06 17:28:39 · answer #9 · answered by re-re 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we have the same story, but i chose the other guy. why? i don't wanna be miserable for the rest of my life, and when i'm miserable my kids get affected, i became a better mom when i chose the guy that i love because i'm happy. it's a case to case basis, i'm not saying that you made the wrong choice, just make it work if you already chose him(the father of your kids). Good luck!!
2006-08-06 17:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by julian 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋