My fiance is Catholic. My daughter is 11 and her and I both have gone and have embraced a protestant religion. I converted to Catholic and I am happy with it, but he wants to force my daughter to become Catholic or attend a Catholic church only. I suggested she go to both (as we have been doing recently) and he insists when we get married, it's to be a Catholic only house. She loves her protestant church and is happy there and DOES NOT want to be Catholic or attend only a Catholic church. I told him taking her away from her church will only make her rebel, but he feels we are the parents and she is the child and we have to make the decisions for her right now, even those she doesn't like. (he wants to adopt her, he not baby daddy, lol) How can I get him to compromise? Am I wrong? Or is he wrong? What is the solution?
2006-08-06 16:42:32 · 6 answers · asked by tinagoomba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like you're the problem. If you converted to Catholicism, why are you still attending a Protestant church? Did you convert just to please your fiance? You're giving your daughter mixed signals.
Your fiance is on a power trip--he's trying to control you and your daughter even before you are married. If you think his behavior is going to stop with this, you are wrong. Wait until she wants to date.
If he's such a good Catholic, then he knows the age of reason for children is 7 yrs. old. She's capable of making a decision. Having said that, has she given the Catholic church a fair chance or does she want to stay where it's familiar and comfortable and with people she knows? Maybe you could get her involved in a Catholic youth group or introduce her to a girl already attending your church to make her feel more comfortable.
The world isn't as insular a place as it was when your husband was younger. She's going to meet a lot of people of different faiths. The more tolerance she develops, the better adult she will be.
2006-08-06 16:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by goldie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was raised Baptist and my oldest daughter was as well when my ex husband and I got married. I converted to the Catholic religion when we got married however I did not change my daughters religion even after my ex adopted her. It was her connection with her deceased father. My ex also felt the same way as your fiance and thought that since he was adopting her and any children we had would be raised Catholic that she should be as well. She attended mass with us every Sunday and went to the Catholic school however when she was with her grandparents she would attend the Baptist church with them. After much debate and arguing we decided to allow her to make the choice of which way she wanted to go and she decided to remain Baptist. At 11 years old there is so much of the religious rituals that she has already missed out on such as her first communion that it would be unfair to throw this on her all at once. Your daughter is old enough to know the difference in the religions and should not be forced to join a certain church just because thast is what the parents want. With the way society is today your fiance should just be greatful she is in church and the denomination shouldn't matter and if takes away what she knows and loves about it then he will only end up turning her away from it all together. The Catholic religion is a very strict and complicated religion to follow and unless you are raised in it can be very complicating to understand. Explain to your fiance that you don't feel it is in your daughters best interest to make the decision for her and she needs to be allowed to make her own choice. The main thing to remember is no one religion is right and we can all believe in God in our own way. My daughter is much happier and hse knows about both religions and although she goes to the Baptist church she respects her father and his beliefs
2006-08-07 00:23:27 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is old enough to make her own religious decisions. You are right in saying that if you force her to leave the church that she is happy at that she will rebel (and may not go to ANY church!). Has your daughter talked to him about it? You might want to have a family meeting and have her explain to him what the protestant church means to her and why it is important for her to attend the church that she likes. If he still doesn't budge, it's a major problem - if he's going to be that controlling over religion, what else will he be controlling over? To me, the solution is that she continues to attend the church that she is happy at - if the time comes when she wants to become Catholic, then okay - if not, let her continue to worship in the church that she likes. And seriously - if your finance isn't willing to bend about this, it could spell major trouble.
2006-08-06 23:52:09 · answer #3 · answered by lonely_girl3_98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem lays in the Catholic religion. Catholics believe that if two parents are of different religion(one Catholic and one something else) the child has to be raised Catholic. I think that your daughter is old enough to decide what religion she wants to be. Hold your ground, she is YOUR daughter.
2006-08-06 23:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope he is what you are looking for and will provide you all the satisfaction that you need for the rest of your life. If you force her to abandon her religion and force her to become a catholic, you may lose your daughter forever. Either you decide she is the most important thing to you, until she becomes old enough to leave home, or risk losing her. There are three main reasons for divorce: Money, Sex and Religion. Look down the road and see what you have in store for you if he gets to force her to hate you. Good Luck
2006-08-06 23:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what u feel is right for u
2006-08-06 23:45:27 · answer #6 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋