If you didn't have a father or a horrible one...read this ?

Question

If you didn't have a father or had a terrible one I know that feeling, I know that huge missing piece in your life. Mine was a terrible abusive drunk beyond belief. I want to share what I have learned. Give your children the parent you never recieved, YOU know what they need because we didn't get it but we remember what we wanted so badly...that's what YOU give to them.
I also know the fear of having children..and worries we might become what we hate...don't fall for that..I have 3 children that I bathed in love everyday they were with me...NEVER one day ever past when I didn't hug them and told them "I LOVE YOU", they walked in LOVE everyday. Giving out of our pain is healing and the wonderful thing is WE know what they need and want. I never wanted my children to ever feel what I felt everyday of my childhood...the answer is loving lavishly with NO hesitation. It's not that bad things happened to us..it's our reaction to those things...choose LOVE!

Do you agree?

Answer 1

I most definetly agree. My parents got divorced when I was young and I got stuck in the middle with all the mind games. Now that I'm older I realize that my father was a terrible father..if he can even be called that..A father does not try to use mind games to get what he wants and use money and child support as power. Sadly many children are growing up today without both parents in their lives. The rate of divorce is on a constant rise and it saddens me. It also saddens me that sex is something people just do these days. A baby is no mistake and when you have sex you most definetly know that a child can be the outcome. I mean what do condom companies even say..99.999....% effective. If you don't want to have a child there is something out there called abstinence. It's not right to basically punish a child because it was an "accident". Think about it because that is what's happening everyday. If you have children take care of them there are some people out there who would die to have a child and cannot. You're right when you say "the answer if loving lavishly with NO hesitation." I'm glad there are people out there who still believe that it gives me hope for the future. I don't want my child growing up in a world full of unloved children. That only leads to destruction and problems in society. We cannot complain about politicians, the media and how society reacts today if we do not vote, if we buy what the media is selling and if we ourselves are society and make up society. One person can make a difference because you have friends and family who you affect. Children only deserve love that's really all that they ask for.

Answer 2

I came from a very dysfunctional family. My sister ran away at the age of 17 and left me there. Both parents turned all their attention to me.

Both my sister and I have very little memory of our childhood. It is the defense mechanism of selective memory. We know we were never told that we were wanted or loved, except by our grandparents. In fact, most of my childhood memories are from times at relatives' homes. I really can't remember much except for a couple of images from my own home.

I made sure that my children never doubted that I love them. They are grown now, but I still tell them every time I see them or talk to them that I love them. I let them know that a mother's love is forever no matter what they do. I will always be here to help how ever I can. I do not want them to have any doubt that they are important to me.

Answer 3

i grew up in almost an identical sitiuation as yours... MY father was in and out of my life, never paid child support, drank more then a fish, was very mentally and verbally abusive, he hit my mom all the time when they were married, and wen they split he got with another women whom again he hit and abused verbally... I couldnt agree more with what you said. I know when I have kids I want them to have everything i didnt have. I want the father of my kids to be there for them, I want him to love them, as a child growing up i always thoght my father didnt love me becaus eof the way he treated me... to this day i feel that very way. I think showqing your children the unconditonal love that you never received is the greatest gift your children could get, an I do believe they will very much appretiate all you do for them... my mom had to be the father and the mother figure in my life and i give you my word i couldnt appriate my mothe rmore. I look up to her becuase she did such an excellent job raising us kids. she told my brother,sister and I everyday she loved us and we are her world... not to worry about how daddy is treating us because she always will be there,and she was.. so again I do agree with all you said it made more sence to me then t would to many of ppl.

Answer 4

My father bailed on my unwed mother before I was born. Wasn't fun for her rearing me alone, nor was it fun growing up poor. However, my biological father sired eight other children, some legitimately and some, like myself, illegitimate. Nevertheless, my birthright (DNA proof) gives me rights to his estate and I'm going after my fair share. I don't think pregnant unmarried couples realize how important it is to marry before their child is born. Because like you suggest, it's all about loving the child. It's not your fault that your father or mother or both mistreated you. They'll pay in the eyes of God!

Answer 5

You are Not knowledge the Bible. In Gen. it tells us that Jesus obtained to be the Christ considering that he was once the one angel that had Never sinned! I have long past by way of my New Testament and counted over 550 areas that state that Jesus is Not God! Like wherein Jesus mentioned: Why do you name me "well"? I am Not well. Only God is well.". "how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and vigour, and the way he went round doing well and treatment all who have been beneath the vigour of the satan, considering that God was once WITH him." "...You have on no account heard his voice nor noticeable his kind,...". "For the very paintings that the Father has given me to conclude, and which i'm doing, testifies that the Father has despatched me." It is first-class to obey the Bible, now not lazy persons private wishes and wants.

Answer 6

Yeah I do agree. Just hope that your childrens' grandpa(your father) makes him stop being a drunk. Probably if your father sees how precious your children are he might start treating you and his grandchildren better. If your father still mistreats you.

Answer 7

i agree! my father wasnt there 4 me