ladies what would you do?

Question

Ladies if your man came home & told you he got another girl (whom he has known for 15 years pregnant), Long before you, & you did have a child with him what would you do , would you make him choose to have nothing to do with this new child or would you be done with him? would you use ur child to threaten him or would you try to work things out? also lets say YOu are the other woman, what would you expect & how would you cope with this being the other woman....BE HONEST LADIES I KNOW ITS EASIER SAID THAN DONE, but would you throw away your relationship or would you try to work things out & accept this other child as his? JUST REMEMBER ITS EASY TO SAY ONE THING IF THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO YOU< but if it did what would you think you would do on either ends of this situation?

he is not married but in relationship for 5 years.

dont hate, but I am the other woman!

i have been involved with this man long before she came along. & they dont have a good relationship, but its a very difficult situation for him for her & for me.... we ave always stayed very close & things happened but now what...

yes i have known about her & over the years she has somewhat known about me, We have discussed being together again, but not in this way, also she does know that I am now pregnant with his child...but she is forcing him to have nothing to do with me or this new baby, she is using their son as a threat to him if he has anything to do with me or the baby

I AM THE OTHER WOMAN THE ONE HE IS NOT LIVING WITH!!!

Answer 1

Hmm... I can't really say what I'd do since I've never been in that situation, but I think that she will need to accept that he has another child if she wants to continue to be with him.

Obviously the situation is less than ideal, but there's no reason to make either of his children suffer for the mistakes that the three of you might be making. It's selfish of her to use her son as a bargaining chip, also.

And I know this is probably something you'd want to avoid, but if he gives in to her and tries to cut off contact, you can always take him to court over it. Or he can take her to court, if she tries to cut and run with his little boy.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I think you are right!Even when we think to answer it might be too easy for us bcos we are not in your situation and no one other than a person who has gone through this will know the pain.But still i am married and i cant think about such a thing.When i come to know this i will cry and stamp around a lot.But there is something else to think.Whether my man still loves me or not.What if he still prefers me

You havent told me how long you two have been married.You know if he met this girl after you two got together, i would say he is cheating in you.But still you have to give everybody a chance.Right!!So talk with him and ask him what his plan is!!If he says that he want to keep both of you.Ask him why he would do that and ask him why he hadnt talked to you before and if he says he loves her and you know all the baby thing, tell him that you dont want the lady in your family.But i would have taken their baby if that was the probs but not the mother.I think every woman is possessive of her husband or man.If i had been the other woman,I dont know whether the other woman knows about you.If the other woman knows about you, then i think she was just a b*itch.Otherwise she might have allso been like you.Is it were me in your place, i wouldnt share my husband.... and if he still thinks considering the two... i would just wak out of his life and never look back.Yes i would be hurt and all torn but still i would just walk away.Why would i prefer to live with a man who doesnt love me?

Hey i saw ur mmodifications now.Think abt it.This lady is manipulating your husband.But whatever it is i dont think its bright to live with him again.If you still can regain the trust in him, it is okay.You know what i believe that trust once lost is lost forver and so is the respect.So just make your move right and i think you should get a divorce.

Answer 3

If he got her pregnant before the two of you got together than i would work things out, if it happened while you were together then that is cheating and I would not put up with it. No matter what the other child is his and you don't have a right to keep him from his child. If you are the other woman than you shouldn't have been messing around with a married or involved man.

But you shouldn't take anyone's advice, this is a decision you will have to make on your own, do what's best for YOUR child and you.

Answer 4

Wow...what a question. I have to say, I would be very much hurt. And its going to be hard to accept what he had done and to trust him again. But as u say, ith easier said than done. Maybe I would just divorce him though, bcos continuing the relationship without trust and imagining my man with another woman is going to be incredibly hard!

If I were the other woman,,,well I'm pretty sure that I wont be with a man who already has a wife.

Answer 5

Well given that this has never happened to me, this is my best guess, given that my ex had a child before me, but I did know about her.

I guess it would depend on several things. First of all did he have the child before he met me, or recently. Lets say it was before and he just never told me. I would expect him to care for,support, and be a part of both of his children lives. I would never stop a father from being a part of his child's life unless he was abusive. (That would go for me if I was ether woman)

As far as my relationship with him, After I verbally kicked his butt for not telling me, I would have to determine whether I could trust him or not (that's a huge secret to keep) If I felt that I could trust him I guess we would work through the issues and prepare an extra bedroom for overnight visits.

Answer 6

this kind of complicated cause first the child have no guilty of nothing so use the baby to make him chose between you or her is not fair at all so dont do it ...i said all the time cheat one time cheater for ever they are exceptions but in ur case with a baby u have to think really clear about ur future with him or not
i know its easy to say but i been in that kind of situation before and i couldnt do it the trust wasnt there anymore i tried to work things out but at the end the drama with the other babies mama make our relationship worse and now life is good keep doing my thing try to be better everyday so if u want to use my case as example do it but at the end the decision is only yours good luck

Answer 7

Regardless of whether I was the woman he was married to or the mistress - he would have to choose which woman he wanted to spend his life with. If I was his wife I would forgive him, get into counseling, and make every effort to make the marriage work. I would also accept his illegitimate child as a half-sibling to my own child, after all, it isn't the child's fault.
If I was the mistress, I would have to ask myself why I got involved with a man who has a wife/family. Either way, he has to make a decision - he can't lead 2 lives.

Answer 8

well if he got the other woman preg before he got with you but is just now a- telling you or b- just now finding out himself
I would forgive him and try to work things out

BUT if he went and got her preg while he was with you i would make him sign off any rights to his child with me (cause most men wouldnt pay support anyway) and be done with him forever.

And if i were the other woman and had just not told him about it till now I would ask him to sign off rights and leave the two of you alone. I would just have wanted him to know he had a child by me.

Answer 9

Did you know he was in a relationship and had a child ? If you did you are a slut. You should never do anything like that ! He needs to be in the lives of all of his children. I would allow him to be my sons father , but that would be it . I am hoping that you did not know he was with someone else. I am thinking you did know though........................ I can't stand people like you.


Thats just what you get when you whore around with someone. I think you are both stupid for being with him.

Answer 10

if he had another girl and has a chilkd by u i would just tell him go with her because if he want to leave dont hold him back because you will never live happy with him but i would tell him don't let her get in the way of him taking care of his child and if i was her i would honestly be glad i got him and just leave what yall got goin on between him and the child alone because i wouldnt wanna start no drama.