How would you raise your child?

Question

With their eyes open to the world around them, or guarded from the outside?

Answer 1

All children are curious about everything. As far as gaurding them this is age appropritate. Be honest and answer questions as you feel is right for the age. You can't save them from themselves and they have to learn their lessons in life. Keep them safe and wise to the ways of the world. That will give you plenty of time together one on one. Never judge them, always have an open mind and hear them out and tell them how you would deal with a problem. Don't tell them how to do it. This causes rebellion and a world of trouble, been there.

Answer 2

Most definitely eyes wide to the world around them...I've seen what guarded can create if over done, children who are curious to try things they know would not be allowed by their parents, so it's all the more enticing to explore.

We've raised all 5 of our children eyes wide open and when other parents where scoffing and critizing our method of child rearing, some to the point of whispering to others that we didn't care about our kids, we were continuing to go against the over protective norm anyway.

I was raised this way and it's hard to strike a balance or to have the instinct to know when restrictions are required to protect the child. However, my parents did a very decent job on all of us (3 kids) and it also turned out great with our own children. Of course not all guarded children get into situations that are difficult for them because they haven't been able to voice independence at home and therefore, don't seem to be able to do so out in the real world either. Some terrific kids come from guarded situations and I know many. I also know great kids whose parents decided to boot them out the door at the young age of 15 in some instances to fend for themselves. These kids grew up quickly and ended up far more mature than their parents. So sometimes, regardless, the child grows up the way he was meant to walk through this world.

One child of a guarded family situation that I know, became addicted to drugs and subsequently contracted Aids. Another, entered the Goth lifestyle (which I don't have any problem with but...) she began exploring alcohol and other substances and became pretty wild. Yet another became a drug dealer for awhile and as my kids haven't had any contact with him for some time...he could very well still be doing it.

There is a huge difference between eyes wide open and a not care attitude which the eyes opened concept can run into if the parents aren't doing this style of parenting with the proper level of openess and control without being controlling.

Children can police their own feelings if allowed to do so and they do so more effectively when parents guide them with the thought in mind that they are preparing their children for the world rather than protecting them from it (which such parents view as preparation unfortunately) and then causing shell shock in the child when he does enter out on his own.

Not all cases of guarded parenting go awry but then again, guarded parents tend to assume their parenting will continue to work even when their children are old enough to be out and socializing with other kids their age. Open eyed parenting should be companioned with open communication, so that the child has no fear in telling the parent things that a protected child would never consider attempting with their parents.

For us and others we know who have parented this way, we'd do it no other way...we have independent thinking kids able to analyze, digest and react to almost anything around them because they were prepared.

Answer 3

As a parent of an 8 year old and a 5 year old, it's a delicate tightrope walk between cautious optimism and good old fashioned sheltering. I lean toward the eyes open, but here in south Florida, there's alot I don't want them to see.

I know I can't keep them this age forever, but... it would be nice if they didn't have to see all the bad.

Then again, if you don't see the all the bad, how do you really ever appreciate the good?

Answer 4

DEFINATLY I am going to raise my 7 with their eyes wide open to the world. My best friend's parents thought that she shouldnt know the world is out there. They must have thought they were protecting her from evil, but the guarded her so tightly it was unbelievable. She wasnt allowed to do anything. They told her things that werent true about the world and it messed her up real bad because she wasnt allowed to have friends so no one told her the truth. In high school we met, and people thought she was weird because she didnt know anything like she thought that kissing was illegal and that if you dont get straight A's, you get kept back. It still messes her up because to this day she will randomly not know what something is, or will have never done something. I want my children to know everything about the world, good and bad. I dont want to hide them from the knowledge of the bad things. I never want to tell them things like sex will send you to hell because when you do this, you have unhappy children who resent you later in life.

Answer 5

As I am a parent, I can answer this honestly. I try to balance both. I make sure he has an understanding of what is going on in the world around him, but I try to give him enough information to try to allow him to protect himself from much of the bad.

There are limits; for instance, there was a notice that some sicko had thrown a cat in our apartment complex trash compactor. I felt no need to tell my son about this--I protected him from this information because there was no reason to expose him to it, just as he does not need to be exposed to most of this type of news from around the world. But that is really the limit of my sheltering.

Answer 6

Both. We live in a world that has changed drastically over the last 10-20 years and that means you need to educate your kids about perverts on the internet, bullies at school, strangers who may try to snatch them, etc., etc. But we also need to let them be kids too, run and play outside, enjoy their friends, activities, etc. I would want to raise my child to be an asset to the world, not a burden. To be a good citizen and make God and me proud. : )

Answer 7

A combination of the two. I want their eyes open to the dangers of the world, but I want to protect them as much as possible for as long as possible. I am also trying to instill a healthy level of fear, to ensure that they are always careful and responsible, but I don't want them to be terrified to the point that they are afraid to live their lives. It is amazingly hard to get the balance right.

Answer 8

Open, but guarded. I think they should know what's going on but not all the gruesome details. It depends on the age though, too. I believe in answering children's questions about things. So maybe if they don't ask, don't tell?

Answer 9

I have raised three children...and encouraged them to have their "eyes open to the world," however, there are some things from which children need to be sheltered...such as teaching them to avoid things which will injure them.

Answer 10

Eyes wide open, of course. Sheltering children never helps them.