dilema....need advice?

Question

My boyfriend's family are assholes especially his mom and brother this goes so far back and I have so many reasons that prove that they are but here is the main thing. His brother ruined my graduation party...caused fist fights and disrespected me over something that wasnt his business at my party when I was nice enough invite him when he said alot of bad things about me in the past (for NO reason...if someone would ask him why he didnt like me he would just say ''because I dont'' when all I ever been was nice....I didnt even tell his gf how he use to cheat on her all the time with my cousin after all he has done to me....anyway....my bf stayed here for a while after the party to be away from them because they treat him bad too (this family is CRAZY) so he went home today to get some things done and I found myself being mad. I do not want him and his family to fight but I dont want him acting like nothing has happened either when they constantly treat me bad for no reason and RUINED

continued: my grad party. I forgave them for the past but I feel like them coming to my pty and doing all that to me is too far and I feel kinda angry that my bf is there like I said, I dont want ANYBODY else fighting God forbid but I really dont want him to be like ok everythings ok either I dont know how to tell him how I feel without it coming across to him the wrong way (keep in mind, he does understand how I feel and he sticks up for me all the time which is what caused the fights but I still think hes going to act like everything is fine to them and let things go back to normal) Also, there is NO talking to his family so pls dont suggest that we all sit down and talk....theyve been causing **** for dumb *** reasons that arent worthy for almost 2 years.

he knows how the family treats me it caused numerous fights in the past. Get this his mom told the whole family I posted naked pics on the net (NOT true, AT ALL) called me ev name in the book and so on and i STILL got her a card for moms day, bought her a bday gift. She has thrown glass ash trays at him over me tried to grab a gun to shoot him (dont think she woulda did it but she grabbed for it)...and ev time he sticks up for me they call him a pussy and think that I boss him around just because he dont treat me how ev one else treats their gfs were real close and he dont cheat and alll that. and when he did go home, after a week, his brother called him his name with MY last name (as an insult) when my family has been more of a family to him than they ever have

I know the one girl was right .... but I still feel like he shouldnt just act like everythings ok they been causing **** and getting forgiven for too long....and theres no escaping them and I want to move away but we dont have the money right now and I dont want to leave my family and feel like he will eventually tell his where we live

I know the one girl was right .... but I still feel like he shouldnt just act like everythings ok they been causing **** and getting forgiven for too long....and theres no escaping them and I want to move away but we dont have the money right now and I dont want to leave my family and feel like he will eventually tell his where we live

They were mean a while ago off and on so I just stayed away and THEN everyone said ''what! she thinks shes better than everyone cause she aint comin around'' and I was all types of names then too even though they were the reason that I kept my distance.....so anyway, not too long ago, I started comin around bc things got better...now look at what happened, they ruined my party and claim that they didnt when they came there starting stuff. Everytime he says something they dont like or dont give them what they want, they bring my name into it

Answer 1

I totally agree with the other girl sweety I know you keep coming back saying you know AND???? if what your wanting is for us to tell you its ok to tell or demand he choose we can't do that.However nasty, immature, and unreasonable these peeps are they UNFORTUNATELY are still his family. And you are right I'm sure why move away because in the long run he WILL tell his family where you guys are and so therefor you are better off close to YOUR loving family where at least you haver their support. It's just a shame that a nice guy has to be caught up in such a pitiful family . And that a nice girl had to find the guy she loves from a family of NUTS like them. Although I would have to say your a better woman than me because if his brother HAD ruined my graduation I would have hit him over the head with the punch bowl so he'ld remember for a very long time to come of what he did. LOL Just stay away from them and if you do run into them be polite BUT short with your conversations with them ALTHOUGH now if they would *ASK* you why you dont come around or talk to them well then it's fair game for you to be COMPLETELY honest and tell them EXACTLY how you feel. Good luck hon , my prayers go with you as a couple

Answer 2

There's no way for you to force unreasonable people to behave reasonably. That's probably why your boyfriend will act as if everything is okay. What's the alternative? He can keep confronting and fighting over it, but it won't bring about change in these people.

The best you and your boyfriend can do it to support and stick by each other and spend as little time as possible with these people. When you are with them, you must choose peace. Do your best to avoid topics that you know will bring about fighting. Change the subject or leave the room when you need to. Choose to be the "bigger person" --the one who overlooks an offense and is kind and considerate no matter what the other person chooses to do.

Think about it--you know what things will bring about which responses in these people. And you are smart enough to figure out how to keep peace when you are all together--as much as it depends on you. You can't control the whacky things they might do, but you can get out of there as fast as possible.

Try coming up with a signal that you and your boyfriend will use to let the other one know that it's time to get out. Then you can go somewhere else and "vent" for a while--scream if it makes you feel better. Put your energy into your own response and self-control and don't waste it on trying to change these people. What you may find is that a different reaction from you can change the way they respond back. Good luck.

Answer 3

Stop trying so hard. You've given it a try at being friends with them and obviously it hasn't done any good. Unfortunately they are still your boyfriends family and ultimately that will never change so I can understand why even though he sticks up for you he doesn't just abandon them. I don't think you can expect him to do a whole lot more than what he is doing. In this case the best thing to do is to build your own lives together away from them and just accept that they will never care for you two being in a relationship. You can't change the way people think but you can control your future and the life you two choose to make together.

Answer 4

I am REALLY sorry to hear that. You seem like a really nice person...The only thing I can say is to stay as far away from them as possible. Don't go over to your boyfriends house (if he still lives with them) Don't call him at his parents house. You don't have to be nice to them and if you don't think that they should be around you because of the way they make you feel then don't invite them. You don't have to forgive them for all of the mistreatment they have given you and I think that you should tell his girlfriend that he has been cheating on her. If you want to get in contact with your boyfriend text message or something...you don't have to put up with that treatment. Let your boyfriend come to your house, just stay as far away from that family as possible.

F.U.C.K. THEM

Hope that helped and good luck.

Answer 5

Screw the family! Leave them alone. Give em a taste of there own medicine. And if there still total bitches it u. Dont talk to them. And if your boyfriend disagrees with u. Tell him how his family has been treating u and that u cant stand it no more.

Answer 6

Drama Queen

Answer 7

If hes cool, get away from the family together. You 2 can be roomates. Don't let them win.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

girl u talk 2 much/write