how do i tell a man his wife is cheating on him?

Question

My ex-boyfriend, a cheater, had a friendship with a married woman that always bothered me. I always thought it was strange how much she and my boyfriend texted each other and she would visit him at his house, which is 20 minutes from her own house. She would e-mail me and act friendly to me, and still does. I have access to my boyfriend's e-mail account and she is sending him sexy pictures and invitations everyday. He responds to the e-mails, but deletes the responses. She is married with 2 children under the age of 7. My boyfriend and I socialized with her and her husband 3 or 4 times. I think he needs to know...especially considering that my ex gave me herpes! I don't really want to "take credit" for informing him, but will reveal my identity if necessary. I need ideas on how to let him know.

Answer 1

Tell the woman that he has herpes. Don't destroy her marriage. I think that you are just seeking revenge.

Answer 2

Okay, you could print out the emails (revealing that you are snooping in his email) and mail them to her AND to the husband with a note that they probably needs to get checked out for herpes.

If you are really just concerned about the herpes thing, you could tell her - hey, I found out my ex transmits herpes, so if you know anyone else who should know, pass it along. If she is married and has kids, they probably use condoms, IF they are sleeping together, and it could just be a bored wife flirting.

Look, they might have an open marriage or something and you just don't know it. I think you should stop reading his email and stay out of it, but that's not what you asked, is it.

If you MUST, MUST tell him, say it like this:
"You know, when we were dating, X and Y used to text 20 times a day (be specific) and she would visit him a lot. Since he gave me herpes, I figured he was sleeping with someone else, and since your wife is so close to him, I thought she might be able to tell him that he needs to see a doctor and use condoms. I would be uncomfortable telling him that myself."

Then let the husband fill in the blanks without you directly accusing her.

Listen, do yourself a favor and lock out his email so that he has to change the password, and you won't know about it.

Answer 3

That is none of your business and I would not say anything. On top of that, since I know what is going on I would not socialize with them in the company of my ex or his new play toy. I would just take myself away from that situation and leave it be. Let the husband find out on his own and you should stop reading your ex e-mail. Trust me you might not like what I am going to say but reading his e-mail is causing unecessay stress in your life-like worrying about who's woman he's cheating with.

Answer 4

Chances are he already knows. If not, he certainly will if he contracts herpes! You don't need to tell him anything. Unless her husband is a very good friend, the only reason to tell him would be a selfish one. Are you still with the ex or not? You story shifts back and forth a bit. If you are, tell him you know and her hubby could find out in a bad way.

Answer 5

How about sending an anonymous letter to her husband's place of employment, directly to him so there is not a chance that his wife can intercept it at the house. Include some of the corrospondance from the e-mail's and the pictures. It will be enough for him to be suspicious.

Answer 6

Send an anonymous letter explaining what's been happening along with some supporting evidence (i.e. hard copies of the emails sent from his wife and the pictures). That will at least identify her as the one sending the emails. Only reveal yourself if you have to, as in showing up to court. Either way, he needs to know. Anyone who tells you its none of your business is full of ****. If something ****** up is going on and you have the power to stop it, then you have to. That's what I think.

Answer 7

..That's none of your business. I know it hurts thinking he might of cheated on you, and more if he gave you herpes, but the problem is with him not with her, believe me....the husband will find out sooner or later. My advice...put all your angry and bitterness behind you and move on, don't become in the one whose hurting someone else...(in this case the husband and kids) you are better person than that I am sure. Let things take its course and you'll see that eventually he'll get what he deserves

Answer 8

A picture is worth a thousand words! Copy e-mails and anonymously drop them off! same thing with the picture, drop one on his porch. What ever you find on the computer, copy print and save! Then drop them all off on his porch when you know he will be the recipient, like before he goes to work or when he comes home. He won't even have to know who sent them

Answer 9

print up what you find in your ex's emails and mail them to her husband. you may not want to put a return address on it though. Just a little note that says something like "I thought you should know what's going on behind your back". You could even arrange for him to be in an area where they are and he could "accidentally" catch them in the act.
be prepared for the backlash of your actions. one of the guilty may figure out that it's you.

Answer 10

Why are you really compelled to talk? Is it that you love your EX? Is it really about the moral issue? Let me just say this. Hmm, God has a way about exposing secrets...when her husband contracts herpes...well, isn't that going to be the way he finds out???

Answer 11

you need to either go to his house or call him and set up a day when you know that the woman will be there and sit him down and tell him whats going on in his own house.