I cheated on my hubby (once) before we got married 5 yrs ago, and yes i confess what I did before we said ''I Do'',then he recently cheated on me and got busted. I have filed for a divorce, but we believe that our marriage can be saved, but are at a lost where to began repairing the damage, when we have our families in our ears telling us that we're stupid to save it, because someone who cheats will always cheat??
2006-08-06 13:20:19 · 6 answers · asked by missdlite00@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is great that both of you want to save the marriage! With both of you working, you should be able to save it.
1) IGNORE THE FAMILIES! They don't know all the intimate details and don't need to. Just smile and say that's an interesting idea and go on.
2) GET COUNSELING! From a real marriage counselor. They may be expensive, but some insurance companies will cover part of the cost. It is worth it to save your marriage.
3) DON'T LISTEN TO OTHER OPINIONS! Its true that "Once a cheater - always a cheater" applies to most cases. But it will not apply to your marriage if you are both working to make it better.
GOOD LUCK, I WISH YOU THE BEST!!
It is so wonderful to hear that both people care about the marriage!
2006-08-06 13:28:05 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i personally don't believe that cheaters always cheat. personally, if both you still love each other and still want to be in the marriage, there is no reason for you to give up. try counseling, go on a retreat together, but understand that its going to be tough to get over the trust issues on both sides, but if you both want it bad enough and you're strong enough, when all is said and done, you'll be happier and even more in love and all those people who doubted you, will be feeling pretty stupid.
and if it doesn't work out, at least you know that you tried and you didn't run out on your marriage just because it got rocky.
2006-08-06 13:28:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 years is a long long time. I can see why you would want to save something that you have worked so hard on for some time. You have to ask your self if he wants to save the marrige. Because there is not really too many things you can do to make the situation better. He Messed Up He Needs To Fix It! He needs to show you how much he cares and the only way you will feel better, is to trust him right? And you cant just start trusting him again. He has to give you reasons to trust him. Without reasons, as far as you know nothing has changed and he could be off doing his "THANG" with that other chick. Be carefull, and trust your gut. Do you want to live the rest of your life with someone who can treat you with disrespect? I know 14years is hard to give up. But if he wont try to fix things and expects you to just do all the work. I am guessing, you would be so happy to find someone to treat you how you want to be treated. live life with no regrets! you only live once
2016-03-27 01:33:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it all depends. Know the person that you are dealing with. You have to evaluate if the marriage is worth saving. If the both of you are cheating then maybe you are both seeking something else.
2006-08-06 13:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by TipToes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Families aren't the best help. Either both of you straighten up-or just walk away
2006-08-06 13:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by johnnydean86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some counceling.
2006-08-06 13:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋