Why does my wife protest every time I fart in bed? What is the purpose of marriage then?

Question

Other than share everything?

Answer 1

Here's something to think about:
Don't Fart in Bed

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know, cause you need help. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to blast them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of
God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

Answer 2

The purpose of marriage is to be united with another person with whom you hope to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe your wife protests you farting in bed because of the pungent smell; not very pleasant to the nostrils when someone's in a romantic mood. I know it's normal to fart and all, but for a woman, this could be a major turnoff. It also has a lot to do with manners. If I were married, I would want to think of my husband as a well-mannered man and not some ill-mannered brute who farts in my bed. It would definitely make him seem more attractive and he'd be in a better light in my eyes.

Answer 3

Okay, men fart, women fart. It's normal. So here and there she should definitely turn the other cheek to this (as you would to her, riiiiiight?!). But it could be killing the romance if you feel free to really let it rip every time you have to. Sometimes, a little discretion goes a long way. Excuse yourself to the bathroom or something. And go out of your way to treat her like a lady. Just because you're married doesn't mean you get to slack off on being a good man for your wife. It's okay to let them go once in a while, but sometimes, try and be the suave, sweet man she fell for and remind her why she married you. Good luck!

Answer 4

It's not really that smelly but we protest in order to put on playful act! We all fart, and my husband puts on a playful 'protesting' act like me and he jokingly complains that I shouldn't be farting out loud because I'm a female! Marriage is about being together through thick and thin! What's the harm in a little methane gas?

Answer 5

Because it's just not right. You can't honestly say that if she farted around you all the time you would like it. Give her the same respect. If you keep it up the romance will be gone and without that you'll have a pretty boring marriage.

Answer 6

Just because you are married, you don't have to be rude. At least say "Excuse me"

So what are you saying? The purpose of marriage is so you can fart in bed? I don't get this one at all!

Answer 7

Wow I thought you thought the purpose of marriage was to fart in bed. Some things are just best kept to yourself. How far away is your bathroom, would it kill ya?

Answer 8

Well; the purpose certainly ain't to fart around!!

So, Quit sharing it!!

Answer 9

dont worry about it she would do it so many times in silence that you wouldnt even beleieve we all do it,and hey if it really makes her feel better then just step aside from the bed fart then hop back in at least it wasnt in the bed right

Answer 10

She probably protests because your farts stink & most likely makes her feel like tossing her stomach contents up.