What can I do? I need a miracle. It's strange we get along great, but she can't let go of the past.
2006-08-06 12:41:57 · 21 answers · asked by Terry K B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Same sh*t happened here. She started bringing up stuff from 6 years ago and wouldn't let go of it. So I let go of her. She wanted to leave, I let her and now she tries to keep a hold on me, but it ain't happening.
Life is to short and there are to many things in this day, to continue to live in the past.
2006-08-06 13:21:55 · answer #1 · answered by dean_moriarty00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your wife is controlling all the shots by "threatening" to leave you. You don't need a miracle, you need a exorcist. She is possessed with what ever it was that happened in the past, but not actually ready to move on. If she really meant business she would be long gone. These verbal warnings are head games. Mentally, she is abusing you. If she thinks she really needs to move on, then let her. She knows deep in her heart that there is probably no one out there, and life isn't as grand a thing as some imagine. So, instead of forgiving and trying to forget or at least let it lie in the past, she keeps this "thing" close at hand to throw at you, when she needs leverage. The two of you need to set down and set boundaries as to "what happens in the past has to stay in the past", so you can healthily move in to the future. Catch her in a good mood. Discuss this with her, and be firm about setting these lines and let her know if she continues to rebound to the past, that if she isn't more careful, she will get what she is wishing for. This is the only way you two can continue on. Lean on God, and never underestimate the power of prayer. I hope the best out come possible for the two of you.
2006-08-06 13:10:45 · answer #2 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly in her past? Or is it your collective past...things you have done to her? The only reason the past has any hold on your lives is that it needs to be LET GO. Simple right? Well, not exactly. Three things, GRUDGES poison relationships. PAST HURTS from childhood, can be baggage in your present relationship...especially abuse. She may honestly believe she does not DESERVE you. So she sabotages the relationship...in little ways. She is a time bomb...and counseling, and even the church may be a place to turn to. You can't solve it, you can't control her emotions, so deal with it as a supportive husband IF you REALLY LOVE her. The miracle is realizing that God can change your marriage.
2006-08-06 13:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must of hurt her badly. It is hard to forget the past and get over it. Sit her down and tell her from the heart how much guilt you feel for hurting her in the past. Tell her how much she means to you and you want to work things out with her. Ask her how you can make it up to her. Show her the letter you wrote on here and tell her this is how much I am hurting and I am desperate enough to ask strangers what to do about my problem. Good luck hope things work out.
2006-08-06 12:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my god i can't believe it. i thought i was the only one. bet she is good with dates and times as well. we should lock her and my wife in a closet together...couple of wackos...listen...she isn't going any where, shes a nut and she knows it...just hold onto to your temper, be cool and tell her she can leave anytime she wants. buy her a bottle of perfume and some different make-up items a couple of times a month. if she is anything like the terrorist i am married to she loves to spend money...so get her something nice on your way home from work...fridays only, this way you can spend the weekend in peace. good luck my friend
2006-08-06 12:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you can offer to go to counseling with her. tell her you care about her a lot and just want her to get better. you wouldn't ask her if you didn't love her. if she refuses let her know she could be putting your marriage in jeopardy, but you will love her anyway and try to do the best that you can.
2006-08-06 12:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by lilgracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to go your self maybe she will see that you are trying and she will go remember one thing it toke me a long time but people told me this you can not make any one love you ok os go get help your self ok if you have alittle bit of money go see a male and a female one that way you have two to see the differnt veiw dont let her bring you down ok and it mite be you and you just can see it ok but if you wont help go you dont need her to that the way mine was and after i went for some time she want to go then to
i wish you the best of luck
2006-08-06 12:56:31 · answer #7 · answered by ****** * 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've done something that was really wrong, then you'll have to prove yourself to her. Unfortunately, that's sometimes impossible. Whatever you do, don't give up, if you love her. Miracles DO happen. I hope one happens for you.
2006-08-06 12:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by flaming_dog_racing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Impossible to tell you without knowing what happened in the past. Did you kill her dog or her father? Did you spit in her soup? What's the issue?
2006-08-06 12:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by aviator147 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever happened in the past is affecting her present trust with you.
2006-08-06 12:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by Hi T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋