We both are girls. She's black, Im white. Last night after renting "Something New" with Sanaa Lathan, we got into one of our regular race arguements. But she made me mad when she said she refused to ever date a white man. I made it clear I am open minded and it doesnt matter what race my man is (Im currently with a white man, but have dated black). I felt hurt when she even went as far to say that Im her only white friend, yet I have many different races. We said goodnight in good faith, but I am urked and mad at her.
2006-08-06 12:41:19 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Since you mention that this is one of your "regular" race arguements, I assume that there are other conversations you have had with your friend that would help you to have a deeper understanding of her relationship to the issue of race. I think it is important to keep in mind that although you make the choice to have friends and date regardless of race, it is very likely that your life experiences and the way you have learned about race have a lot to do with that choice. Being black, it is also likely that your friend's personal experience of race is very different than your own, and her specific experiences will shape her choices as well. For all you know, she may have encountered white men that made her feel discriminated against on many occassions, or has a family that would be unsupportive of dating outside of her race. Or, it may be important for her to have a partner that can relate to her specific experience as a black woman by being black themselves. This would not be different than a Jewish woman wanting to date a Jewish man because of the shared heritage.
With regards to who she dates, I am a little confused as to why you are so angry about her personal choices. If she had said that she was only attracted to men with brown hair, would it have caused such an emotional response? While I understand where you are coming from, I would try to remember that who your friend dates doesn't really impact your life, and that what is really important is that you and your friend have a friendship between you, despite the differences in your racial backgrounds and life experiences.
2006-08-06 13:07:16 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Divinity 1 · 20⤊ 2⤋
Do you want to still be her friend? If so, then let it go. She was being honest, and saying that she is only attracted to black men. You are attracted to both. This isn't a big deal. If you are her only white friend, then perhaps she hasn't met that many white girls that she has anything in common with. You wouldn't want her to pick her friends on the basis of their color and not on their personality and character. I think you are irked at her because she didn't agree with you totally. That will happen from time to time. Let it go.
2006-08-06 19:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by mightymite1957 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's not racism maybe its a matter of taste...I'm white and i would never date a black guy, but I'm not against having black guys friends. So amybe she feels much more attracted to guys from her race or amybe she wanted to be a little mean to you... Honestly you don't have to fight on such silly matter... You'd better sort this out together....Good luck!
2006-08-06 19:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by Pearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop the anger. It is not personal. History within a race, culture, ethnicity determines how one perceives others. Put it to rest.
2006-08-06 19:49:38 · answer #4 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her remarks indicate she is a racist. You would be better off hanging out with your other friends.
2006-08-06 19:58:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes she is
2006-08-06 19:49:33 · answer #6 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋