i thought every thing was great, we have been together 16 years, hes a truck driver and i stay home, then out of the blue , he wants a divorce, should i give him one or should i say no and get counseling, he says its not me, hes just not happy any more, and hasn't been for over a year,(hes been real good at faking it !) what should i do,,,,,,,,
2006-08-06 12:24:41 · 31 answers · asked by Betty E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes we have a 15 year old son, hes confussed too, he says there is no one else, and that its nothing i've done or haven't done,,,
2006-08-06 12:36:34 · update #1
Been there, you can try to twork it out with him,or give hi what he wants. But,will you ever know if he is happy about whatever decision he makes?
My hubby's family pressured him into filing for divorce, and he started the proceedings (they paid for it). He backed out realizing his error, he still to this day doesn't know why he actually filed. I do, his parents did all the leg work and he followed their lead. But, when he realized he was going to lose me, he realized he was an idiot. I didn't do anything wrong, BTW, they just want the grandbabies.
2006-08-06 12:30:37 · answer #1 · answered by Gothic Martha™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling will only work IF he believes the marriage can be saved. I personally wouldn't bother because if he says he hasn't been happy for a year, he's been probably trying to figure out how to tell you. I'm sure if he wasn't a truck driver and was home more often this situation would have revealed itself a long time ago. Give him his divorce, dust yourself off and start anew. This might give you the opportunity to do something for yourself. Good luck whatever you decide to do.
Cheers
2006-08-06 19:33:55 · answer #2 · answered by MissKat999 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure if you should stay with him or not because I'm not in your shoes and don't know the situation exactly but I can tell that you want an answer as to why this sudden change. You tell him that you need an answer after 16 years, you deserve one. Just don't panic yet.
I left my husband a few months ago because he cheated. I left with my daughter. At first it was really scary but I think it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I feel so happy and confident. And guess what he keeps begging me to come back knowing he made a mistake. So don't worry, either way things will be fine. You just be strong for yourself and your son.
2006-08-06 19:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say, that he's just not that in to you anymore. I am guessing that he has been "gone" for a while, and has simply been going through the motions with you. Maybe this seemed like the right time for him. You need to get a book, called "HE'S JUST NOT THAT IN TO YOU". There are two versions, one with life experiences, and one that is abridged and to the point. Be prepared: It's very harsh, and very matter of fact. You must also realize that this most likely has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. This may well be all his issues, as he says. Always be gracious and have class. You will hurt, yes, but what would be worse? Spending more time with someone who didn't really want to be with you? You need to attend counseling, for yourself. Not to "win him back", but to help you move on. The greatest gift you can give someone is your love. You've done that, and part of that is letting them go if they want to be free. Swallow your pride, and let him fly free. In that, you will also free yourself. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-06 19:33:20 · answer #4 · answered by Michael 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He say theirs no one else,but can you really trust that.He can't just come from left field with a divorce without a reason.There is a reason and it may not be you,but someone else.Yeah, I wonder why we are the last to know about them faking being happy.A year please.You need to do whats best for you.If you still love him fight for him and go to counseling.And if he's not willing find out about the divorce laws in your state.Some states require that you be separated for a year before divorce.I hope that things work out for you the way you want them.Hold on and be encourage.
2006-08-06 19:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by missmadhatter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me. He has someone else, but if he tells you that, you will ask for more in the divorce settlement...so he will say "no one ,I don't have anyone "I am just tired of being married. I love you but , I am not IN love with you. How old is he? If he is over thirty nine, he may be going through the change of life ...they find someone else, try new clothes, new car, new job new woman...in other words they go crazy...middle age crazy... Kick him our so quick it makes his head swim. He may be so shocked he will come back soon. If you try to beg him to stay, that only tell him he has time to do any dam thing he wishes, and you will be waiting ...So kick him out and pretend you never knew him ..it will shock him back.....it works.
2006-08-07 03:27:34 · answer #6 · answered by gigigal906 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can contest a divorce, but in the end he'll get it if he really wants it. Counseling will only work if he goes with you. It takes both people to make it work and it doesn't sound like he wants to. Hopefully, he'll give the counseling offer a little more thought before he makes any rash decisions.
I'm sorry, I doubt that's what you wanted to hear :(
2006-08-06 19:29:21 · answer #7 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really does not matter if you say no, if he wants a divorce he will get one. You could try to get him to go to counseling with you. Most likely he has another woman so you might be better off without him. Even if it is hard and it hurts you will get over it and be a lot better off, if this is the case.
2006-08-06 19:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A truck drive hmmm usually ( I am not saying all) get lonely on the road and find tramps that will have sex with them. Maybe he fell in love with one of his tramps and now he wants to say he is not happy with you. He is probably thinking the grass is greener on the other side but actually it will be dry after a few years. Move on have fun find someone that is going to love and respect you.
2006-08-06 19:30:02 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about it... I'm afraid your best course of action is to wait until he serves you with the divorce papers. Get yourself an attorney and be sure to make sure that you get whatever you are entitled to... in most states, you get half of everything... and your attorney should make sure you do. Some people are not marriage material... unfortunately your husband discovered this 16 years too late. God bless you.
2006-08-07 02:03:51 · answer #10 · answered by Mike S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋