My mother is nearly 80, does not suffer from Alzheimers or dementia and is active in mind, body, and spirit. She has her own friends but we see each other on Sundays. I treat her to lunch and then a movie, or whatever it is we plan to do for the day.
The problem is she is critical, negative, and domineering. I refuse to let her push my buttons and even when she does I count from 1 to 10 ( under my breath, of course) and try to either speak calmly to her or just steer the conversation toward another direction.
She just simply will not let it go. She screams and yells (it's not the age ~ she was always this way) and I am at my wits end because this is becoming a chronic problem.
Although she drives me nuts, she is my mother so I keep trying to put the previous battle behind me. My brother does not live in the area so I am her only family here.
She's needed therapy her whole life but will never agree to get it now.
Anyone have experience with this type of situation? Advice ?
2006-08-06 12:13:54 · 4 answers · asked by Angela 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You need to put some distance between yourself and mother.
Stop taking her out on Sundays and stop calling.
She'll get the picture.
A friend of mine use to take her great-granny to the store every Saturday morning!
Eventually, great-granny started talking down to my friend and even shouting obsenities at her out in public.
So...my friend rushed great-granny out of the store, stuffed her in the car, and drove her home on two wheels.
After a month of Saturdays alone, great-granny got the picture and now she acts like she has good sense!
It's a tough job, but you have to do it 'cause your sanity depends on it!
2006-08-06 13:33:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 4⤋
Sounds like you are dealing with it quite well. I would have probably strangled her by now! LOL! At least you only have to see her once a week. Do you think you could tell her that it bothers you when she is critical and negative? You know sometimes old people get that way? Maybe you could change the conversation, too, when she starts. Regardless, she IS your mother, the only one you've got and you have precious years left. Good luck keeping sane.
2006-08-06 12:20:35 · answer #2 · answered by angib18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding...I thought I was alone! My mother AND father are 83, and they are BOTH like that. I'm accomplished in my career, but chose not to marry...so I'm stooooopid, crazzzzy, I was such a nice kid what HAPPENED to me? blah blah blah I used to get frustrated and yell back, or cry, which always ended up in more unpleasantness...now I don't acknowledge assinine comments. They haven't got forever (please don't let them live into MY OLD AGE!) and I can only hope I will eventually have peace.
2006-08-06 12:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by twinks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as you said it your mom , love as you can god forbid but she mit not be around long and you loved her before and if you want to see her in hopes of her going easy on you try carry out food and movie to her place and instead of counting to 10 under your breath take movie and tell her you will see her next sunday and see what happens
2006-08-06 12:25:56 · answer #4 · answered by wilco254 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋