should a married man love another when he has been faithful,but his wife has not?

Question

I have been mariied for 12 years in my second marriage,and have been true but wife has not atleast once and think twice,but have a friend from online for several years who says all at once she is madly in love with me

the woman who all at once says she loves me does not know my circumstances, but she does know i am married , my second wife is a hatefull mean ***** so your responce is

the woman who all at once says she loves me does not know my circumstances, but she does know i am married , my second wife is a hatefull mean ***** so your responce is also tell me your age as it is important to see how much life you have experienced

I am 53 and I am thinking divorce,before i mess around,It is easy to make a judgment when you are not in those same shoes isn't it

Answer 1

go to the online chick and forget ur wife!

Answer 2

Remember, two wrongs don't make a right? It still applies in the 21st century! I strongly suggest you and your wife get counseling before this snowballs out of control and you're left wondering what in the world happened! Being in a relationship requires trust, and when that trust is broken, there has to be forgiveness. Does your wife know your suspicions? Has she asked you for forgiveness? Are you willing to forgive her if she does? You need to iron out these issues with your wife before even thinking about proceeding into another relationship. Use the head on your shoulders and leave the other one in your pants. You'll be the better for it!!!!!

Answer 3

The key word here is MARRIED. Why would you think that just because she has been unfaithful that it gives you the license to be unfaithful also. Good grief! Get a divorce and do whatever it is that you want to do but have the decency to get a divorce first!
One word of caution though, these online romances are just fantasy. I'd make sure that I knew what I was doing before I jumped off into cyberspace.

Answer 4

Gary...dude. Think about this man......be a man and do the right thing. Do not sink to your wifes level. Be better than that. Once a cheater always a cheater. Get rid of her and move on. As far as this "online" friend, cut her loose too. If she is telling you she loves you and knows your married....what kind of woman can she be ? Not a good one ya think ? Be a man Gary and do the right things. E-mail me if ya want to discuss this further..

Answer 5

i dont know about u , but my parents drilled it into my head as a kid.. ' two wrongs dont make a right'' .. and i find it very odd that u base your love on the fact that someone else "all at once says she is madly in love with you" does that mean if ur next door neighbor says they love u that u have to return the feeling?? think its rather cowardly of u to blame her saying it on your wanting to feel it.. and i think its very cowardly of u that u obviously agreed to forgive her for her infidelity but are ready to use it as an excuse to have ur own infidelity, which really ur already a cheater, because for the past several years you have used this other chic as a means for your own emotional needs something u should ony be sharing with your wife, not someone online..and im not a newbie to the internet world i know how it works, and i know how things go.. and i know the ego gradification that goes with it as well.. maybe if u put so much time and energy into your marriage that u do with the girl online for several years, maybe u'd see that your marriage could actually work.. u may not be physically cheating on ur wife, but u are emotionally cheating on her already and have been for several years .. remember this, although u've known this girl for several years.. u really dont know a person till ur actually in a "real" relationship.. been there done that.. and its not as rosey as it all seems .. i think u need to protect ur marriage and get rid of the online girl and concentrate on your marriage.. 12 years is along time to throw it away especially if u've already forgiven her for her mistakes and worked through it.. to me, id rather be able to look at myself every day in the mirror with Pride knowing i did everything to "live" by my vows ..

Answer 6

you say that you have been true.
how true is it to your wife that youve had a friend from online for several years?

i think you need to do a reality check on this one. i dont think that id stay "true" to a man that keeps an ongoing relationship to another woman whether its from online or not.

hard to have any feelings for somebody that tells someone else his feelings and not her.

no matter what, the time that you spend with your online friend is taking time away from your wife and respect as well.

im surprised that your wife hasnt already left you and filed for a divorce. i would have

Answer 7

Catch 22 situation, damn if you do, damn if you dont. Dont do it based on revenge itself because you wont feel any better, not that you will if you do anyhow. If the trust is gone out of this marriage,then its time to move on and divorce her on grounds of mistrust and carry on with the other girl. Two wrongs definitely wont make this right so instead of making a bad thing worse,be a man and do the right thing. Good luck

Answer 8

Will you sinking to her level make you feel better? If you feel you are done with your marriage; as a show of faith to the new woman; you should finish the old business(divorce your wife) before you get to involved with the new woman.

Answer 9

If your wife cheated on you, it doesn't mean you have the right to cheat on her. People make mistakes and they deserve forgiveness, that doesn't mean you get to do something just as bad on purpose. Get rid of this woman who says she loves you and tell her you are working on your marriage and are happy with your wife.
Then, really work on your marriage and your relationship so you won't want to have an affair.

Answer 10

I am sorry that you have been betrayed. However, behaving in the same way does not equalize the situation. Talk to your wife and reconcile or get out before you do something that you would be ashamed of. You have integrity now, keep it.

Answer 11

2 wrongs dont make a right, so if your wife is the one who has strayed then for you to persue another relationship whilst still married to her would then not just make you even with her but also make you as bad as her, so id get divorced first, that way you keep your respect where she has thrown her self respect and any respect for you away