Edit Paragraph Please?

Question

There is a picture that shows a heart carved around couples, such as, Apollo and Daphne, Cupid and Psyche, Venus and Adonis, Pygmalion and Galatea, Orpheus and Eurydice, and Hero and Leander. But there is just a heart carved around Narcissus' name. The humor of the cartoon is that Narcissus loves himself. I need to write a well-developed paragraph of two hundred words that explains the humor in this cartoon. So far, I used about 125 words. What else can I add? Can you edit my paragrah and tell me what I can add?



Engraving their names onto the hard bark of a tree, love-struck couples express their devoting love for one another. A heart carves around one person’s name in particular, Narcissus. “His beauty was so great, all the girls who saw him longed to be his, but he would have none of them” (Hamilton 91). The stunning youth continues with his cruelty. The goddess of justice and vengeance, Nemesis, hears the prayers of the nymphs Narcissus scorns and decides to arrange the handsome lad to fall in love with himself. “As Narcissus bent over a clear pool for a drink and saw there his own reflection, on the moment he fell in love with it” (92).
The humor of this cartoon explains that Narcissus loves himself.

Answer 1

Paragraph 3: "devoting love" = devotion, and change carves to carved.
Then we have the example of one name, standing alone, with no companion - Narcissus. ... As Hamilton describes Narcissus' life, we see that to love oneself above all others leads only to misery and self-destruction. Narcissus carved a heart around his name alone, and alone he would remain for all time. This was the justice Nemesis decreed for Narcissus. His self-love resulted in his being alone forever. Remember, Nemesis in modern English, means "unbeatable foe" and she made sure that Narcissus would never be happy. It wasn't just his self-love that doomed him. It was his treatment of the women who desired him. He treated them with scorn and cruelty - in favor of HIMSELF! Perhaps this is a lesson for us - treat all others kindly, whether you are attracted to them or not. You might find yourself attracted to their personality or intellect. Looks aren't everything.

This isn't much, but I hope it helps. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Well, you're only 75 words short....Some minor editing notes though- may want to change "onto the hard bark..." to "into". Maybe change "devoting love for one another" to "love and devotion to one another". Perhaps change the second sentence to something like "One person in particular has a heart carved around his name, though he is lacking the name of a companion. His name is Narcissus." The sentence "The stunning youth continues with his cruelty" seems a little awkward there...I think you can elaborate on the last sentence a little more. Perhaps something like "And so you see, Narcissus doesn't need the name of another person for which he is smitten to have a heart on the tree like the other couples. He is in love with himself, and so is his own companion, that is where the humor of this cartoon lies". Good luck with your essay!

Answer 3

Hi mcn - I don't if I would call it humorous as much as ironic and a waste. He only loved his own reflection because Nemesis, the Goddess of Rhamnus, put a spell/curse on him (at the request of women scorned) that he may "love one day, so, himself, and not win over the creature whom he loves." On one hand there is rapture at the sight of a non object, simple product of the eyes' mistake; on the other, there is the power of the image, "what you seek is nowhere. The vision is only shadow, only reflection, lacking any substance. It comes with you, it stays with you, it goes away with you, if you can go away."

In the end, of course, he dies at the edge of the looking pool, and Ovid adds, "Even in Hell he found a pool to gaze in, watching his image in the Stygian waters;" When mourners, whose lamentations Echo repeats, prepare the funeral pile and seek his body, "they found nothing." Through a strange resurrection, the narcissus flower has taken his place.

The moral of the story is get over yourself, and look to love and help others. However many years he had, he wasted them. It was all an illusion, and he got what was coming to him. I still don't think it's humorous as much as it illustrates a point that no one person is the center of his/her own universe. I've listed a few links that might be helpful to you.

(former lit major)

Answer 4

I experienced several problems and challenges during this project; my main problem was concentration and focus. When I started the project I was not very motivated and rather than working I talked to my friends. At the time, I didn't realize how much I talked, and where I sat probably wasn't the best place to be if I wanted to try and finish. I can’t say that I didn’t do my work at all, but it was hard to concentrate when my friends and I continued to talk. I had to take the project home since I fell behind, which did not help very much. The next few classes I brought in my iPod, in hopes of distracting me from chattering to my friends. Listening to my favorite music helped me when I worked on the project and it improved my concentration. Although my main problem was concentration and focus, I overcame my problem by finding something to keep me focused on my work!

Answer 5

You need to take an English course or find a tutor.

Answer 6

I'll give you a well-edited essay about that for a dollar. Err, more like I'll help you write one (so it's not plagiarism)... still a dollar.

Answer 7

maybe you can tell how he loves himself and where that leads him.....