how do I get my wife to have sex. She is going through the change and seems to have gone off sex completely.?

Answer 1

Hello, having just read the answers here, some I have found highly amusing. The most amusing don't offer you an answer but still they are good for a laugh, I am presuming most of them will be from very young people who have no concept of the female menopause.

So here goes with a few little ideas.

Women going through the change often need hormonal suppliments, some don't even feel like normal women any more as hormonal imbalances can affect moods and mood swings.
So the first port of call is the DR's to question whether HRT is a safe option. There are other things the GP may also be able to suggest. After several months your GP may be able to provide additional services through the practice, I mean a sex therapist if you have in the interim period not engaged in any sexual activity.

Not having sex is not a sufficient reason for you to seek sexual gratification elsewhere. Afterall, what if it had been you whose drive was affected, would you expect your wife to have engaged in an extra marital affair. The answer I expect would be no.

Sex isn't the be it all of lifetime experiences, it is made out to be. Often sex is a bore, a means to allowing men to exercise whatever they feel, without truly pleasuring a woman. In my personal opinion only 4 out of every 10 men really know what sex is about, but 9 out of 10 feel they know it all. 7 out of every 10 women will also have faked it, just to please there men folk.

Sometimes the female menopause means the woman can be quite dry internally and this added to a lowered libido, can be painful. The actual act of sex is something which you may want to discuss with your therapist/GP as there are medications which can make things easier. I am not referring to KY here either. In addition to this I mentioned moods but some moods are a form of stress and depression, again another litte issue that needs addressing. Sex is uncomfortable if it is unwanted, in fact it is rape.

Sometimes a woman can be married for 20 years and then suddenly realise that she hasn't enjoyed sex at all, and the reason for having gone off it may lie with you. Some men are inconsiderate and don't consider that a little romance, or massage, or game may be lacking prior to the sexual act.

Women who are menopausal are not sexless. They are still women. The most important thing for a woman is to be treated with respect.

If you want sex without the love than you will be a lonely man.

Answer 2

Good god cant you tell the answers from us ladies and those of the men

Give her time, keep sex as an issue she WILL turn you away time after time until its easier to say NO not tonight then to say yes
You Married her better for worse etc well now more then ever she needs understanding lots of reassurance that you still love her and eventually things should return to almost normal, keep pushing her and the only option is that of one of the answers on here which was "use an escort they provide condoms!)

Answer 3

I think understanding and patience is needed here. No quick fix I'm afraid. I hope that someone who is actually going through this can help you more. Is your wife receiving any treatment. Is it an issue with her too??? If she is seeing a DR for hormone therapy then he would be the one to ask for advice. I can understand your frustration especially if you have enjoyed a happy sexual life before this. Professional advice and sympathetic approach to the subject with your spouse. Best wishes in solving you issues xxxx

Answer 4

It is perfectly normal for ups and downs during "change" (as you
call it). However, I can tell you that my wife is 62 and I am having
a difficult time keeping her happy. Be patient, let the "change"
complete itself and you should be back to normal. There are
hormone changes going on so if you think it is taking a little
longer than expected, I strongly recommend your wife to pay
a visit to her doctor. He will guide both of you to a healthy and
safe landing.

Answer 5

She will get back into sex again. Right now her hormones are going crazy almost like when a woman gets pregnant. Just give it a little time. Also talk to her and tell her that you need the intimacy. Good luck.

Answer 6

Spend friendly time with her during the day, don't just pay her attention when you want sex. Rub her back, stroke her hair and don't turn that into foreplay. Try to expect nothing back for a few weeks until she relaxes - and now you have the best chance.

Answer 7

Well you both need to sit down and talk about it. Honesty is the bets policy so you can work it out. Maybe she's feeling the pressure because she knows you want it and is feeling bad because she doesn't want it either. Use this time to work on other areas of your relationship and in time she'll be up for it when she's ready.

Failing that, rohypnol.

Answer 8

If you don't know the answer you not going to find the right one on here. Remember when you met her be spontaneous and stop trying in the bedroom you will make it worst. Suggest a weekend somewhere make it her decision then if its a crap weekend it not your fault completely

Answer 9

Dont pressure her. But try bringing the romance back first, cook her a romantic meal run her a bath, just spend time together the rest will follow

Answer 10

while your wife is going through the change of life you will see her have hot flashes and sweets and she will be very irritable you need to give her time to ajust to the body changings and it may help for her to take some kind of hormone medicine.