who ever says the funniest thing gets ten points!?

Question

okay people make me laugh and you get 10 points so tell me w/e you want and if i think yours is the funniest then yuup 10.

Answer 1

2 peanuts were walking in Central Park....1 was salted...

Answer 2

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions."

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"

The woman replies, "I'm a whore."

The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."

"Ok, I'm a prostitute."

"No, that is still too crude. Try again."

They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm a chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.

Answer 3

this guy was in the cashier line at WalMart holding a huge bag of Purina dog chow, some lady says "what kind of dog do you have?" they guy says "oh I don't have a dog" she says "then what's the dog chow for" he says "haven't you heard about the dog chow diet" she says "no" he says "you munch on the nuggets every time you get hungry instead of eating regular food" she asks "does it work?" he says "oh yeah, I lost almost 50 pounds when I had to go into the hospital" she says "did the dog food put you in the hospital?" he says "oh no, I got run over by a truck sitting in the middle of the street licking my balls"

Answer 4

"People and Mistakes"

People who do lots of work...
make lots of mistakes
People who do less work...
make less mistakes

People who do no work..
make no mistakes

People who make no mistakes...
gets promoted

That's why I spend most of my time sending e-mails & playing games at work
I need a promotion.


Subject: Potato Head
>
>
>>
>>Potato Head
>>>
>>>
>>> > A GIRL POTATO AND BOY POTATO HAD EYES FOR EACH
>>>OTHER,
>>> > > AND FINALLY THEY MARRIED AND HAD A LITTLE
>>>SWEET POTATO,
>>> > > WHICH THEY CALLED "YAM", OF COURSE.
>>> > >
>>> > > THEY WANTED THE BEST FOR YAM.
>>> > >
>>> > > WHEN IT WAS TIME, THEY TOLD HER THE FACTS OF
>>>LIFE.
>>> > >
>>> > > THEY WARNED HER ABOUT GOING OUT AND GETTING
>>>HALF-BAKED,
>>> > > SO SHE WOULDN'T GET ACCIDENTALLY SMASHED, AND
>>>GET A BAD
>>> > > NAME FOR HERSELF, LIKE HOT POTATO AND END UP
>>>WITH A BUNCH
>>> > > OF TATER TOTS.
>>> > >
>>> > > YAM SAID NOT TO WORRY, NO SPUD WOULD GET HER
>>>INTO THE
>>> > > SACK AND MAKE A ROTTEN POTATO OUT OF HER.
>>> > >
>>> > > BUT ON THE OTHER HAND SHE WOULDN'T STAY HOME
>>>AND
>>> > > BECOME A COUCH POTATO EITHER.
>>> > > SHE WOULD GET PLENTY OF EXERCISE SO AS NOT TO
>>>BE
>>> > > SKINNY LIKE HER SHOESTRING COUSINS.
>>> > >
>>> > > WHEN SHE WENT OFF TO EUROPE, MR. AND MRS.
>>>POTATO
>>> > > TOLD YAM TO WATCH OUT FOR THE HARD-BOILED GUYS
>>> > > FROM IRELAND, AND THE GREASY GUYS FROM FRANCE
>>> > > CALLED THE FRENCH FRIES, AND WHEN SHE WENT OUT
>>> > > WEST, TO WATCH OUT FOR THE INDIANS SO SHE
>>>WOULDN'T
>>> > > GET SCALLOPED.
>>> > >
>>> > > YAM SAID SHE WOULD STAY ON THE STRAIGHT AND
>>>NARROW
>>> > > AND WOULDN'T ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE HIGH CLASS
>>>YUKON
>>> > > GOLDS, OR THE ONES FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE
>>>TRACKS
>>> > > WHO ADVERTISE THEIR TRADE ON ALL THE TRUCKS
>>>THAT SAY,
>>> > > FRITO LAY.
>>> > >
>>> > > MR. AND MRS. POTATO SENT YAM TO IDAHO P.U.
>>>(THAT'S
>>> > > POTATO UNIVERSITY) SO THAT WHEN SHE GRADUATED
>>> > > SHE'D REALLY BE IN THE CHIPS, BUT IN SPITE OF
>>>ALL
>>> > > THEY DID FOR HER, ONE DAY YAM CAME HOME AND
>>> > > ANNOUNCED SHE WAS GOING TO MARRY TOM BROKAW.
>>> > >
>>> > > TOM BROKAW?!
>>> > >
>>> > > MR. AND MRS. POTATO WERE VERY UPSET.
>>> > >
>>> > > THEY TOLD YAM SHE COULDN'T POSSIBLY MARRY TOM
>>> > > BROKAW BECAUSE HE'S JUST A . .
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >> >>(Are you ready for this?)
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > >
>>> > > COMMON TATER
>>>

Answer 5

i like eggs john is dead he got smashed by a bug, run over by a parked car, fell off a broken bridge!

Answer 6

Yeah sure, but will you respect me in the morning.

Answer 7

"The funniest thing"....there u have it! Now can i have my 10 pts puhh-leeez? :)

Answer 8

why do eggs hate me my pet egg Clucky died when he flew and i tried to catch him. please help my pet cheese is making fun of shoes what do i do now? I named my plant fred and never forget to water fred cuz he's nice.

Answer 9

How the hell do we know if you are laughing. That's stupid. Thanks for the 2 points anyway.

Answer 10

I like milk.