We're in our early 20s....been together for almost 6 years so this is not just "some boyfriend". we've talked about our future and marriage etc etc....
lately, I feel i've been put on the backburner.... like I'm not a priority. I just want him to care about me like he used to and I just don't feel any sort of passion or spark between us. We also fight constantly and I feel like my whole mood revolves around how he and I are doing.
I've been thinking about taking a break and having the both of us just reassess things and see if we really want to be with each other but I can't seem to let go (even for a break!).
He's controlling, hot-tempered, very stubborn, and has a "my way or the highway" mentality and yet I stay with him...
Am I just avoiding the inevitable?? What should I do?
2006-08-06 09:15:14 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I was in a similar situation a few years ago... After years of dating I felt like we hit a brick wall and we stopped growing as a couple. We probably hit it much earlier in the relationship, I was just in denial. I felt neglected, unwanted, and ignored. I felt like I was someone to run his errands, and for him to hang out with when he had nothing else to do. He wasn't the same person I met a few years earlier. I felt bad the majority of the time, and I couldn't even tell you what I was fighting so hard to keep....
I think in my case I didn't want to feel like I had wasted all those years dating him for it to go no where.... Plus I felt stupid for investing all the energy and emotion into a relationship were I wasn't getting it back. But FINALLY... I realized that things weren't chaging and we weren't going anywhere. I gave him a final chance to either give our relationship the same effort I did, or I was gone. He didn't and I stuck to it. It was painful and it was scary to start over alone. But I can tell you it was the best decision I've ever made. A few weeks after we broke up I ran into a old friend and now we are married and have two children. He helped me to see that I am worth a man's effort and energy. I do deserve to feel wanted and loved EVERY single day, and so do you... Don't settle babe. Everyday that you put it off you are only losing one more day that you can't get back. LIVE LIFE, you only get one!
2006-08-06 09:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by lnfinitelylnteresting 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I had pretty much the same problem before except I'm 15, and I was with him for 3 years. He didn't seem to pay much attention to me after awhile, like he was bored with me or used to me. We fought a lot.. so I decided to take a break since it wasn't working out. When I took the break, he regretted not spending time with me and trying to work things out. So then I ended up taking him back, and then he loved me, cared for me, and did the sweetest things.
I think you should take a break no matter how much it hurts.. you might even realize he's not the person you want to be with after all. Because even when my boyfriend started having me as his top priority... I realized I didn't even want to be with someone who was hot-tempered, very stubborn, and jealous. I hope you make the right decision in what ever you do and that you are happy.
2006-08-06 09:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a bit of distance is all. This could just be a rough patch~ every relationship has them. Your idea to take a break and reassess is a good one even if you have to have to force yourself to do so.
You sound like an intelligent and articulate guy who sees the reality of the situation so I know you've already pretty much decided what you need to do.
2006-08-06 09:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...it seems too me yall sound like yall need a break even though you dont want to i think its in your heart too ... if yall dont feel like yall shouldnt break up then just I think yall need to remember why yall fell in love in the first place ...I think yall just forgot ..you need to remind him why he fell in love with you...Also when yall get in a fight I think you should set an example like just be the calm one and dont yell at him no matter how mad he gets you just stay calm....I think after the fight was over he'll wonder why you dont yell either and might feel really bad that he yelled so much at you...you see if you also yell at him i think he feels that bad .Its kinda like getting even .I dont know if this helped but i tried ok well good luck i will pray for you ! God Bless !
2006-08-06 09:27:03 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie<3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Six years and he hasn't taken the next step yet? Sounds like you need to demand a commitment but that's just me. Are you serious about having been together six years?
2006-08-06 09:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by Crossroads Keeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you need to let go. Remember the old saying : Let it go if it returns then it was yours; if not then it never was. If you are always arguing and if he is as demanding as you say; Drop him fast and let him fly; hopefully he will never return to be dominant over you again.
2006-08-06 09:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by mary c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
change up wat u do try something new and just ask him good luck
2006-08-06 09:28:38 · answer #7 · answered by The_Truth_Finder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋