Do you think a man has the same expectations on him if he isnt working?

Question

WHat I mean is is a man expected to do everything if he is home during the day or is it just the womans job?

Actually my husband does work---a lot- but I just mean hypothetically, does a man have just as many expectations on him as a woman does?

Answer 1

I would say first that marriage is between two specific individuals, so whatever division of labor they both agree on, long-term, as workable and fulfilling for both of them is okay.

[For example, my best friend was working full-time while his wife stayed home, but currently they've reversed roles because of the state of the job market. Both are fine with it, and both work just as hard at home or at the office.]

That being said, in terms of deciding what is "fair," work around the house (although unpaid) should be considered the same as work outside the house (i.e., for another employer, the office, or whatever).

If the guy works outside the home for eight hours, and the woman stays home and does eight hours worth of work, for example, then that seems "fair."

Or if the man works eight hours at the office and the woman works part-time for four hours and then four hours keeping the house (i.e., shopping, laundry, clean-up, etc.), then that seems "fair."

However, if the guy is not employed outside the home and the woman is, then he should be doing the "housework" while he is home and his wife is out working -- if he wants to be "fair" about the relationship.

(Note: I think the act of being out all day "looking for a job" -- if he is actually looking -- should also count towards "work" in terms of fairness, but he has to actively be visiting places, pounding the pavement, doing the rounds, etc.)

It sounds to me like your husband/bf no longer has a job and is sitting at home expecting you (or whomever) to work outside the home, then come home and do all the housework as well.

I mean no slur when I say this, but that's really just laziness on the man's part, and he's taking advantage of his wife's generosity. A man with healthy "pride" would be either out trying to find work, or working around the house so that he feels he is contributing his strength to the family rather than sponging off his wife. A guy in tune with his family will notice the inequity, feel bad that he can't contribute more, and will do what he needs to to either find employment or contribute around the home as much as possible even if he doesn't feel very good at it.

-- in response to your later comment...

I think society still relegates "housework" to the woman, and you will see many guys (especially those with unstable childhoods) feeling like their job is only to work outside the home and not doing any of the home-chores stuff.

Part of this is just because their mom always did it, part of it is because they don't know how to do it well and the wife usually has more opinions on how housework should be done (i.e., where dishes go, how to fold/place laundry) as well as how often it should be done. (If guys do not act quickly, the wife usually does it first while feeling annoyed about the whole thing.)

I think idealistically, society thinks the guy should "chip in" but usually we think more in terms of yard-mowing, trimming, spout-cleaning, and physical labor, while the wife ends up doing the inside chores. In practice, the woman usually still gets the short end of the stick. I think there are more expectations for women, overall.

Answer 2

If a man doesn't have a job, I will find him things to do around the house. If he doesn't know how to cook, clean, run the washer and dryer, etc. I will teach him how. One way or another, he's going to earn his keep or else he's got to go.

Answer 3

feminism has not something to with expectation of adult males. particularly while any females is in a dating, a females in basic terms expects a guy to recognize, care, and instruct that care in small techniques flowers, goodies, little notes. adult males seem to think of its plenty yet particularly its the same females do for adult males

Answer 4

i think that if he is home all day he should do something other than play station lol! but i dont think guys do it because they feel they are doing the womans job which sucks!

Answer 5

if he's home everyday then he should take care of the home.there is no male female jobs........if u home get ur *** and have dinner and a clean house when ur wife gets in from WORK

Answer 6

no but he should