i feel so betrayed?

Question

my man cheated on me 6 months ago and decided 2 tell me 2 days ago. i have done so much 4 him. when he was unemployed, i worked my ENTIRE pregnancy to support him. when he got locked up for 30 days 4 some traffic tickets, i waited 4 his @ss. i feel so humiliated. i don't want to leave my house because i feel like everybody in town knew and was laughing @ me the whole time. i feel dirty knowing that he put his dick in some other woman and then put it in me without me knowing @ the time.
i punched him. i slapped him. i kicked him. i pulled his nuts as hard as i could. i smeared a dirty diaper in his face. i sprayed raid on him and i spit on him. i still don't feel any better. i don't want to work this out. he won't leave so i am making arrangements 2 stay in a shelter out of town with my son. i need to feel better for my son but i cannot stop crying. how am i going to get through this? i can't stop picturing him with her. please help!

Answer 1

you are already moving on and trying to find somewhere else to live and taking yourself out of the situation is the best thing, something like that is not easy to get over or forget about, i went through the same thing and i worked and took care of my kids and i know this sounds crazy but i read books, i read love storys and horror novels anything i could get my hands on to get my mind off him and it worked ive moved on and im happy now i hope you find something that works for you good luck

Answer 2

I agree about not going to a shelter unless it is absolutely the very last choice you have.

I too am a man and I would never ever put a woman through something like you've been through.

Find someone to stay with until you can get your head straight, even if it is a motel or something like that, if you can afford it. Best would be with friends, someone that wouldn't let him know where you are.

I would get with an attorney and see what your options are. Where I live, when I caught my wife in bed with some guy, I checked with my attorney and he told me if she was out of the house I could change the locks to keep her out but if she were in the house, I couldn't kick her out. So maybe when he is gone, you can get back in and change the locks and lock him out.

If you don't want to go through all of that, then after checking with the attorney about what you can do, move, move as far away as you can. Get a divorce, start a new life without him. You don't need to live in that kind of situation. You should not be subjected to that kind of life. It isn't good for you or your son.

Good luck to you and may the good Lord be with you through this trying time.

Answer 3

You're doing the right thing! Get away from him and go make a better life for you and your son!! When you start falling apart, start thinking of an ex from before this guy and think about how you don't care about that person anymore. Someday...this jerk will be memory just like the other memories that don't hurt you anymore. Hang his picture next to someone that hurt you before and that you've recovered from. Focus on the picture of the person you don't care about anymore and know that someday you will look at the jerk's picture the same way. Make a list of all the things about him that you HATE and then smile knowing that you're getting away from him. Try fantasizing about your new life. Picture you and your son laughing and smiling and spending time with a new man that treats you the way you should be treated. Go to thesecret.tv and watch the trailer. It just might change your life. Good luck!

Answer 4

Hello, it is understanding that you would feel betrayed. Actions do not have to follow feelings however, and you can't take back what you did to him, and he can't take back what he did either.

If he cheated on you 6 months ago and told you 2 days ago about it, this means that he felt guilty and told you to get it off his chest. To make himself feel better. When people allow themselves to be ruled by their feelings terrible things can happen, you can sleep with someone, hurt someone, say something that will hurt someone else, just for a few examples.

If you leave or not please make the decision on more that just a one time cheat. You stayed with him through a lot and that must mean something, or did mean something.

Can you go to a relative's for a while and see if you want to try with him or start over?

Please realize that feeling hurt and betrayed have nothing to do with your purpose, which is to take care of your son. Feelings and thoughts are uncontrollable but actions are. Take whatever action is appropriate for you and your son.

I sincerely wish you the best in life - you deserve it.

Answer 5

Please trust me when I tell you it will hurt for a while but as the weeks roll on it will get better for you.Pray as much as you can that you didn't contact anything(STD) from him sleeping around.I too live in a small town and people were there including some of my relatives to witness him cheating on me with someone I knew as a so call friend.I went back to him only because at the time I didn't have the money to move anywhere else.

Answer 6

dang baby girl!! you've been through a lot all of which I'm sorry to hear about. been there done that kind of scenario. try not to think about what he got out of it( the relationship between you two) but what you got out of it that was good. from this point on make up your mind to only do things YOU WANT to do. that way later you won't have regrets.

the shelter thing can be a very traumatic thing for a single person. for a new mommy it could be worse. try catholic services there. i know the one in my state helps single mom's find housing they can afford, jobs and a good start to getting back on their feet and no you don't have to be catholic. try to remember that the negative emotions you feel baby boy will feel too, because he's part of you and they're very intuitive. To boyfriends credit, he did tell you... i know too little too late. but remember, everyone makes mistakes, and if you guys work things out, he may not feel comfortable telling you other things he may do in the future if you're actions remain so volatile. not to say that he didn't deserve all that you gave him and more. if you do move on don't relay this story to future men. all they'll hear is your reaction, they'll label you and if they decide to date you, they could very well end up cheating too but just not telling you.

take the positive from this and determine to leave the rest behind. you'll find peace faster that way. if you forgive him you'll heal faster. not to say you have to take him back. but if you forgive him he won't have such negative power over you and occupy all of your free time with thoughts of betrayal and resentment. feel better Sweetie, I'm praying for you, that you're heart will mend and that you find your way to Mr. Right. God's kept you this far. yeah he cheated, but thankfully he didn't give you HIV, so you still have a full life a head of you. live it for all its worth! i'm routing for you!

Answer 7

oh sweetie iam so sorry. I don't know the details but from what you say it sounds really bad and he sounds really selfish i mean he could at lest have the respect for his son not to see y'all go to a shelter and just give you your space.But sweetie as far as your pain all i can say is it gets greater later, keep you're head up. But don't take you and your son to a shelter. I mean don't you have family or friend that will let you stay their until you get your mind right. your in alot of pain right now and you have your son to worry about.You just need time away from him to think about every thing don't move out just find a friend to stay with for a couple of weeks you don't even have to tell him your leaving just go

Answer 8

Betrayal feels awful, but you are blessed to know what kind of a man you had. Better to leave him now , than to bear humiliation any longer. You need not punish him because his conscience will do that. You just need to save all your energy for yourself and your child. I don't think people will laugh. If they have a heart at all they will feel guilty for not letting you know.Try to have grace and dignity, then people will admire you for the way you are coping. He has made his chioice, forget him.Don't let him take away any more of your time or energy.

Answer 9

no matter what u do to him, the only way you will feel better is to be away from that town and him so u can forget it easier. I think you should stay with a family member or friend and not by yourself because you need support by another person. You can forget, but never forgive. Another thing you can do is kick him out of the house. who cares what people in town think....they shouldnt be laughing at you, they should feel sorry for her and feel mad at your ex. JUst stay strong for your kid and other people that need you and love you andmost importantly, for yourself.

Answer 10

been where you are... but am still married to him, 30 years now and counting....... it is hard, but you can be the only one to decide if it is worth giving it all up...... it takes a long time to heal, and the more you push urself the harder it is..... let urself grieve over your lost trust and what was lost in the marriage..... be angry, hurt, disappointed, depressed and all the other stuff you are and wil feel..... but, dont do anything until you know in ur heart that is what you want........ go away for a while...... do what you have to do........ but be able to look urself in the eye at the end of the day.... what he did was WRONG and stupid and all the other stuff..... but it was HIS mistake NOT yours.... dont make urself pay for it....... talk to ppl you trust about it... get it all out in the open, so you can deal with it...... if you have a trusted friend, talk to her, do NOT try to get thru this on your own if you do not have to........... God bless