why does love grow cold? i am in love with another woman, older actualy though am presently married with a kid

Question

what do u suggest i do?

Answer 1

Love must be nurtured and expressed - it grows cold when it is neglected and when people do not grow together. I suggest you talk to your current partner and discuss where you are in your relationship and where you want to be. Forget about the other woman until, at the very least, you are free to pursue her.

Answer 2

Love grows cold because one or both partners either allow the light of the candle to go out due to actions they do, words they say or those important things that remain unsaid and undone.
We all do little things to bother each other and take each other for granted sometimes, to argue over small things that do not matter is foolish. Saying 'I love you', 'I'm sorry' and 'I forgive you' make a difference. Imagine each time you say or do a wrong thing and do not try to sort it out you cause a line of bricks to form, until the bricks get so high that you cannot climb over them as tension and emotions build up.
In my opinion a couple begin together and they are one, just like a thick piece of rope, there are boundaries which one does not cross, if one partner crosses the boundaries, the ropes snaps and cannot become whole again, while you may knot it together after, it is not the same.
Besides the above I personally think its good to look after your appearance, just because you are married does not mean you own that person. Children are always important and we all want our kids to have things that bit better than us if possible.
I would not ever want to be the other women that tempted a guy away from his family and would say to any guy ...make sure she is worth it, there may be no going back.
Life has thought me something too beyond morality and rules which would be, not to judge others so much as we rarely know the full story.

Answer 3

Because that kind of "love" is a fallacy. It doesn't exist. Men and women were never meant to stay together for life! Some moralistic old dictator long ago decided that that system was best for society and everyone has been bullied into it since then!
Remember the good old days, when women lived with young children and pubescent girls? And men and teenage boys lived apart? They got together for a procreation festival and it suited everyone. If a couple were truly bonded by something, they remained united. Otherwise it was free choice.
That works for me! Besides we're not parrots, or whales. We are promiscuous animals, why should we be brain-washed that a mate is for life? What nonsense!
What you should do, though, is something only you can answer. Whatever you decide, I hope you manage it so that there is the least hurt all around and the maximum happiness! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Tell your Wife how you feel. Hit the wall sooner than later. Is your wife neglecting your feelings and thats why there is even another woman to begin with. maybe express that to her. Or are you just a player at heart and can find fullfilment from one woman? If possible don't put your child through the pain of a broken home unless you all are fighting constently and saying very harsh things, that is no good for the child also. Try to Pray for direction. God will always lead you the right way.

Answer 5

By loving another old woman, you yourself admit that love has not turned cold in you. Your wife also may tell the same thing!! But the mistake is collective. Understand that even the present extra marital one will also turn cold at sometime. Will you find another at that time? Try to openly discuss the reasons for this mutually cold approach and look after the kid well. He/She needs full parents and not half!!!

Answer 6

I suggest that you slow down and look at your marriage and family before you do anything else.

You will not be happier in another relationship until you understand why your love for your wife and marriage died.

Again, I think the best thing for you is to talk to someone familiar with this topic - get counseling before taking any steps to end your marriage. It would be a good idea for your wife to attend, too.

You need to find out why the love died. What actually went wrong? Was it on both sides, or yours only? How can you prevent this in the future?

The best scenario is that you and your wife work together to rekindle your love and save your marriage.

Answer 7

I suggest that get divorced, and stay out of relationships. A married man, who loves a different woman, and is having an affair is simply scum. Grow up before you try to to have a relationship with a woman. And, I don't care if you're 80- you need to grow up.

Answer 8

Sounds like Your planing to move on.It isn`t easy ,especially when the child is young.You need to work out what went wrong,try and resolve the issue.Only You can answer that question,why the love went cold?You need to talk with Your wife and see whether the marriage is worth saving/love re-kindling.Stop seeing the other woman until You`ve worked that out.

Answer 9

well, love only grows cold when we let it. You have to keep your eyes on your wife and child and let the temptations go.

Someone who tries to break up a home is only there for a thrill more than likely. Talk to your wife and tell her you love her and want to make this work, but you need to have her like she was before or whatever the problem is. Remember that child needs his daddy and a home. Good Luck

Answer 10

Love is not a feeling. Being "In Love" is close to being "Insane". Love is a choice, and you've chosen this woman you are married to. What you feel towards this other woman is just "the tingles" you like her, she likes you, blah blah blah. That will eventually wear off too if you pursued it, which you shouldn't. I'd like to suggest a book. "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman.