2006-08-06 06:26:44 · 10 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"Life's Lessons" can be so difficult when you trust another person on being there for long term. When communication breaks down and one is feeling more of the burden of 'life' in itself it gets old and draining to the point that one wants to excape. With all relationships, whether your married or not, it takes 2 people working towards that goal( not one working at it and let the other one watch) this is what creates a foundation and also 'intunement with each other.'
I always tell people in my practice, that what we feel about ourselves, is what we project out to the nearest and dearest. So therefore - if there was something missing in ourselves and we look for it in our partner - then that partner will feel their own preasure on top of your preasure, into making you feel love, securement and safe -both emotionally and spiritually. If you were my student - i'd teach you about the proper methods of 'tools for oneself and power' and also suggest to you that to focus on yourself right now, so that inetween now and the time that he'chooses' moves out - he'll see change and a positive one that will help him feel more stable and more relaxed. If he chooses to still move out, then it's a lesson that you'll learn to prepare yourself for the next one. But as long as you 'void' the insecurities of yourself - he nor anyone can help you change that until *you* take charge of your own life and makes some personal changes. Then and only then - will guidance, counselling and relationships work.
One final note: you can love anyone you choose - but you can never force them to love you...If they cannot love you, its related of how they see themselves and surroundings.
2006-08-06 07:36:09 · answer #1 · answered by cariadion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him, try counselling.
If it doesnt work.. let him go. Dont howl and wail and cry and damn him for leaving you .. just let him go. It hurts but you get over it.
Try to seperate on a good note , a friendly term... it will make things easier in the near future and in the far future.
You cant hold a person ( legaly) against their will. If he is going to go he will irregardless of what you say and what you do.
Mourn your lost relationship and move on.
I would try really hard to keep things civil with him, you may have lost a good lover.. but you dont want to lose a great friend.
2006-08-06 23:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by timberleigh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's rough love. I'm kind of in that situation and all I want is a little change from my spouse. Maybe you can rekindle your relationship by doing the things that first suckered him in and keep going. I'm sorry had a relapse. But try everything that worked in the beginning and multiply it by 2. Show a little more affection but don't kiss his *** because he may have found another and there is no longer anything you can do.
2006-08-06 13:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by dlittlz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never want to be with someone who doesn't love me back for who I am. It would only be inviting pain. You can not make some one love you. You should find some one who can love you for you. Maybe spend some time on yourself and see what makes you happy and things that you enjoy doing? Hanging out with friends? Going to the movies? Reading a good book? Good Luck and Best Wishes.
2006-08-06 13:39:38 · answer #4 · answered by Red Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure he's got someone else to be with that's why. Just forget about him and start a new beginning with a new good person and that will be good for you, trust me.The show must go on, if one goes there comes a second one.
2006-08-06 13:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by Ethan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to him and figure out why he wants to leave - then try to fix that - but if the dude has already made up his mind, chances are he's going to leave anyway.
Aloha!
2006-08-06 13:36:43 · answer #6 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is probably nothing you can do but try to talk to him. Offer up going to counselling together?
2006-08-06 13:44:38 · answer #7 · answered by mkk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU KNOW I ALSO HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM I HAVE A COMMON LAW HUSBAND AND WE HAVE A 1 YEAR OLD, HE WANTS ME TO LEAVE AND I DONT WANT TO, I FEEL FOR YOU, IF YOU NEED TO TALK HIT ME UP ON MY 360 PAGE
2006-08-06 13:40:11 · answer #8 · answered by ~yAnKeE neNa~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seek counseling, but in the end you cant make him stay if he doesnt want to be there. do you really want to be with someone who doesnt want you?
2006-08-06 13:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by bina643 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe see a couple's counselor?
2006-08-06 13:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by Rose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋