How do I approach this situation?

Question

Some one close to me has a 3 month old baby and while visiting the other day I noticed that, while they are trying to put the baby to sleep they cover the whole head with a blanket, because "it works".
I said it probably works because the baby's oxygen is reduced so the baby eventually passes out, you can see the poor thing struggling to get out from under the blanket, but they hold it down until he is asleep, then lay him down in the playpen with his face still covered.
I kept walking over and uncovering his face (I have a 10 month old and I would never put something over her face while sleeping) but they would notice and cover it back up.
Do anyone else think this is dangerous for the baby and if so how do I approach the family about it?

They also place him on his stomach to sleep, is it just me or are they doing everything they said NOT to do to prevent SIDS?

I am also an RN, so I don't want them to think that I'm a know-it-all busybody. The blanket is a fleece baby blanket so fairly heavy, and yes they put it right on the baby's face.
The reason I mention lying on the belly is because the baby is not able to turn over or lift it's head yet. I thought the combination of both is raising their risks of SIDS

Answer 1

I would tell them that you think it's risky and tell them in a way that shows that you are just concerned because you care about their baby. Don't make them feel like they are bad parents (even if you think they are) and be tactful. Tell them that you have heard of babies suffocating that way (I have heard of that happening, ok now if you hadn't heard of it before, you have now). Try to reason with them and be nice so they listen to you.

Answer 2

I am mother to 4 and can say that for the tummy thing - 1 of mine would roll himself over onto his stomach to sleep by 2 weeks. The blanket thing - I have seen this done and it makes me very uncomfortable. I observed the family doing this and felt confident that they were not decreasing oxygen and let it be. If you feel that the oxygen is a concern - call a social worker and speak anonymously - ask for someone to go to the family and speak with them on childcare and SIDS and legal proceedings that could follow. Make sure you explain the blanket thing. If you don't and something happens - you won't forgive yourself. This method should turn the responsibility over to unbiased professionals. You could also, offer to babysit and see if you can discover any other techniques for getting him to sleep - then share them. Another idea that I have used is a "gift" of a book and some other related item or two. You might even try using all of these ideas - these people are close to you and you want whats best for everyone.

Answer 3

Hmmm....
Being that I breastfeed my baby, he has a blanket over his head to go to sleep. Although, the blankie that we use is really just a thin receiving blanket. I would never put a heavy blanket over his head. I always make sure that he has a breathing spot though, as I call it.(A gap between the blanket an him so he can breath.) I take the blankie off of us when we are finished nursing though, and I only use it when people are around that are uncomfortable with me nursing in front of them.
About the laying on his belly, some parents still believe that this is best for the baby. I think the only time that a baby should be on his/her belly...when they are real young is when the parent is right there and is staying right by the baby the whole time. I put my baby on his belly now b/c if I don't he will just flip to his belly himself, but he is also 11 months old.

I'm not real sure that saying something to them is really going to do any good. If you are really concerned and you are close enough to talk freely to them about things like this then you could say something. But, most people take offense to someone else trying to tell them what to do with their child.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

My goodness. These people are ignorant! Have they not read ANYTHING about having a baby?!?! You should pass along a book or print off something from the net about SIDS. Tell them how concerned you are about the way they put their baby to sleep and that you're only butting in because you feel they are putting their baby at a higher risk of SIDS or suffocation and you would never want to see them lose their baby. If that doesn't help, maybe you could find out who their pediatrician is and pass along the info that you know so they can talk to them. Also, if they are only doing it because they think it helps put the baby to sleep, maybe help offer them other alternatives. Check into the Happiest Baby on the Block book or dvd too. Good luck!

Answer 5

Of course you shouldn't hold a blanket over a baby's face! If they want to put a shade over the baby or darken the room that works just as well. Anyone who would HOLD a blanket over a baby's face is a danger to the baby.

As for the tummy sleeping, they do recommend back to sleep however once a baby can roll over (4-5 months) sleeping on the tummy isn't so dangerous because baby can lift head well and roll over himself.

Answer 6

You are right. It is dangerous. If they keep this up there will be a tragedy. Normally I am not for interfering in parenting, but if you have told them you think it is dangerous, and you are a nurse and they are not listening, then you will have to report them to Child and Family Services. Depending on where you work this may even be a condition of your job... you may be a "mandatory reporter". My husband is and he has to report anytime he sees where a child's welfare may be endangered.

You can do it anonymously, but please do it for the baby. And the parents may not thank you now, but they will later when they do not have to live for the rest of their lives knowing they killed their baby.

Also, there are many things we can do as parents that "work", that we should not necessarily do. It's a slippery slope. If they act like this now, what's next? When you want the kid to stop running around the house, locking them in the closet "works". Tying them to a chair "works". Does that mean we should do that? All we have as parents is our own good judgement, and in some parents, it's just not enough. Maybe it's not their fault: maybe that's what their parents did and it seemed normal enough (lucky is what I'd call it, though.) But when good sense doesn't kick in, that's why we have child welfare regulated by the state. Good luck.

Answer 7

Is the blanket directly touching the baby's face? I used to put a blanket over my son's car seat if I was out somewhere and he needed to take a nap. The blanket should not be right on the baby's face. Although it IS recommended that babies sleep on their backs, it is not required and some babies prefer to sleep on their stomach. My son was a preemie and had Sleep Apnea and he did better on his stomach because the pressure on his stomach reminded him to breath. Don't interfere with someone else's parenting. Blankets are breathable, so the oxygen is not cut off.

Answer 8

They are definitly not doing the right thing! They could end up killing their baby!! For the child's sake, you need to say something. I would try going on the internet and printing up some information about SIDS (and how to PREVENT it) and then one day when you are visiting and she does that again to put him to sleep just let her know that covering a babies face can be very dangerous (and fatal!) and also that laying a baby on their stomachs is not recomended...."BACK to sleep" is the best way to help prevent SIDS! Then give her the information that you printed up on the internet and let her read about it herself.....hopefully something will click and she will stop doing dangerous things to her baby!

Answer 9

i wouldnt do that either!!!! never cover a babys face im sorry but to hear that pisses me off. they need parenting lessons. but as far as the baby sleeping on his tummy i let my daughter do that but only for naps so i could check on her every time i turned around. if i didnt do that her head would have became flat in the back. i think you should approch them and tell them say i dont think it is right your baby could die and it really wouldnt be an accident would it? tell them they need to stop it. i would tell them to stop and then id watch them and if they do nothing to change then i would try to do something about it. get some sids videos and make them watch it. and if that doesnt work then you might wanna call someone you can be annonamus about it. im sorry but people like that shouldnt have kids at all. that kid would be better off with a different family member. good luck

Answer 10

Without seeing the situation myself, it's hard to answer. How heavy is the blanket, what do you mean by "hold it down", how tight is the blanket around the babies head? I sleep with my head under a blanket or sheet many times. Is there someone you can ask that's closer to the situation, that can see it in person, like you are.

Best of luck. Hard one to call here.

Answer 11

they must be out of their minds!! Obviously, when you told them they were probably cutting off the baby's oxygen, it didn't phase them at all so tell them to stop putting a blanket over the baby's head or you will report them! How can people be so ignorant? I want to cry I am so worried about this poor little baby!