I just had a baby July 26th (C-section) And When i came back from the hospital The apartment was a mess. He doesn't do any type of cleaning whatsoever. I wash his clothes my clothes the baby's clothes,and i'm just getting fed up. He always puts his clothes on the floor after work. Leaves the dishes upstairs etc.... he never picked up a vaccum or cleaned the bathroom. I mean i have to ask him to take out the trash,and when i do ask he'll say ok but then never do it until later. I'm getting to the point where that i might hold off the wedding for three years.
2006-08-06 05:39:56 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, your husband is extremely lazy and immature. You each have very different standards regarding cleanliness. You need to assign numerous tasks to him and don't do them for him. If the garbage doesn't go out then fine, he can deal with it piling up. It isn't your responsibility.
I suggest you see a lawyer and find out if you would be better off leaving him now or after you get married / divorsed. There could be benefits to marrying him quickly (courthouse) then getting divorsed.
2006-08-06 05:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋
Oh, I see...he has miraculously changed in the past year..two years??? OR have you just opened your eyes to what is going on. What do you want? A man, a housemaid, and trash man, and a sex partner? Well, you and all other people. But, unfortunately, we are all disappointed now and then. Perhaps a good sit-down and talk will help, but don't count on it. He is a bad doggie and has not been well trained by mama. Put a choker collar on him and give him a yank everytime he does something bad. Scratch him behind the ears and say, "good boy" when he does something good. You may laugh at me for saying this, but ...I AM VERY SERIOUS. Get a good book on dog training, and start the training now. You don't need a "choker collar," but use your imagination as to how to train him. Trust me, griping and whining are NOT going to do the trick. Neither is doing it all for him. Train him well, and he will be a very good pet/husband for the rest of your life. If you don't train him, dump him...he cannot change without stern discipline of a good natured sort. I am not kidding about the dog book. All you need to know is in that book. Good luck
2006-08-06 05:51:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woman- Shut up and clean the house. After all, since you're a woman, and he's a man- You are meant to clean up after him, cook for him, be there sexually whenever he wants, care for his children, and quit nagging the poor guy. Only an *** would say something that stupid, right? well, by his attitude, that IS what he's telling you. Is he right? Well, I personally don't think so, but, by YOUR actions, perhaps he is right- at least in YOUR case. That depends on IF you put up with that garbage. Obviously, his mother taught him this attitude, either teach him differently, put up with being his servant, or get rid of him. By the way, this isn't anything new is it? Didn't you notice he's a spoiled baby? You face a battle. Good luck.
2006-08-06 06:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The important thing - do you love him? Does he treat you well? Does he cheat on you, hit you, lie to you? If he's otherwise a good guy, just a slob, then don't leave him over something so trivial. There is no "perfect man" out there, but if this guy meets your more important standards, then the problems are worth trying to work out. Perhaps counseling? And no, you don't have to pay a fortune. Even if you are not religious, you can go to a church, and most pastors will do pre-marital counseling either for free or for next to nothing (perhaps they will just ask you to attend church once in awhile, that sort of thing). But you'll find it's hard to snag a guy that will be true to you, so gauge what is really important here. And have a heart to heart with him about his lack of respect for you.
2006-08-06 05:47:24 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl being the person that i am i would been left his a$$ but you have a child Together what you do is tell him how you feeling he doesn't listen and keeps doing it repeatedly i say leave his a$$ any good man would be taking CARE of you making sure okay and cleaning up after you. you should give a week to see if he changes if he don't you should move when he at work leave his a$$ and stay with your family.oh and about a the wedding don't marry him if he don't get with the program cause he will be doing the same thing when yall get married!
2006-08-06 05:49:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to break it to you sweetheart but unless there`s some super male robot hunk out there that`s perfect. NONE OF THEM CLEAN UP. This will be something you have to change in him. If you are getting married to him then you should have a talk with him about the mess & the stress and explain to him that you are not going to be able to do it on your own and if he wants this kind of a bond with you he will have to work with you by your side. Help out with the chores and the baby. Congradulations on your new baby too. I`m sure he/she is adorable. Good luck
God`s Speed,
Lace'
2006-08-06 05:54:30 · answer #6 · answered by lil_island_grl316@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to have a talk with him. i wouldn't leave him immediately especially since you all just had a baby together. but talk to him about what you need out of him and what a good father should do. you might also have someone in his family talk to him about it if he's close to them. for the sake of your baby you at least want to try to clean up this mess (sorry for the pun), and then after doing all you can it still doesn't work then leave.
but meanwhile I would hold off on the wedding. you don't want to make a mistake.
2006-08-06 05:45:17 · answer #7 · answered by lilgracie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is a huge mixt of emotions and I don't think you should make that kind of decision right now.
It's more time for you guys to sit down and talk about all this. Make him understand *calmly* that you need help with chores and with the baby. I am sure if you communicate your needs to him, he'll help out a little. Be clear on your requests... not just 'dear, help me out with the cleaning'. Good luck and congratulations for your new baby!!
2006-08-06 06:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by Shaana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that is some crap. makes me appreciate my bf more. he does the exact same thing, he come home from work and basically, you know he is home. he leaves dishes and drops and spills stuff. but then he expects me to clean allhis filth. i do however. but i can commend him becasue he will clean up, but will tear me apart because i didn't do it **How dare he?!**
Anyway, have a talk with him, after i came home with the baby my bf did the housework for a bit. your man is acting like a child. don't leave him, but show him how serious you are, if postponing the wedding is necessary so that he gets his act togther, you may need to do so.
2006-08-06 05:47:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't care much, hygiene is very important around babies, and like he has this attitude about segregated male/female roles. Is he the same in other aspects of your lives? If yes, then by all means, leave him. If he's just a slob, explain that you need help around the house & the baby & see how it goes.
2006-08-06 05:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by Zeina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's sure is alot for you to handle and you just gave birth c-section at that he knows you had a operation so he should help out alot you need to be resting and not moving to much didnt the doctor explain that to him tell him if he doesnt straighten up your leaving him your not going to raise 2 kids just 1 your not his momma if thats what he wants move back home with her and if he doesnt want to help clean tell him to hire a person to come in 2x a week and help you clean up his mess
2006-08-06 05:49:10 · answer #11 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋