Why sometimes when I've had a few to drink verbally attack my partner?

Question

He is a really great guy and doesn't deserve it. Apart from these occasional outbursts of mine, we have a great relationship we live and work together and get on brilliantly. I know you might say stop drinking, but we are very social people and enjoy having a good night life. Normally it's fine then sometimes like last night i just turn nasty.

Answer 1

Well, you're right, that's what most people are going to say--stop drinking--including me.

The very nature of alcohol is that the more you imbibe, the more your inhibitions will be lowered. So controlling your behavior once you've had a few is really non-sensical.

Why not just limit what you drink, or choose something less alcoholic? Then you can still do what you wish socially, but just don't drink yourself to the point of embarrassment, because that's all you're really doing is embarrasing yourself, here.

Answer 2

My husband has been clean and sober for 13 years. He always says that when people say nasty things when they're drinking, it's because they feel these things, but can't bring themselves to speak the truth without the alcohol. I don't know if this is true in your situation. Since the drinking seems to be causing the problem, how about going out and having fun with your friends at night minus the drinking? If you find yourself only going out for that reason, try other activities that are fun but not centered around it. There are tons of things to do that don't involve alcohol. I don't drink, and my husband quit five years before we met, and we have loads of fun. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

They say that drinking brings out feelings that we have before we took the first sip,it just brings them to the surface.
If you were happy and having a good day,you would be a happy drunk . Angry...then you would turn into an angry drunk..etc.etc...
Also there may be some unresolved feelings of anxiety that you may have with your relationship that you haven't brought to the surface with your boyfriend while in "sober" mode.
You may feel shy or inhibitied or "feel funny" about talking to him about these issues,even though though you may think about them during the day when he is with you or while you are apart during the day when you or both of you are at work.
When you drink you may feel like pouring out your heart to him about all these unresolved feelings,these may be issues like for eg. :
1. He isn't thoughtful enough to think of you and call you more often when you are apart.
2. He forgets about important dinners or family gatherings because he may not like your family.
3. He may not be pulling his weight around the house with sharing of the bills,or doing his share of household chores that you feel that you are carrying the majority of the load.
4. He doesen't show that he cares like he used to when you first started dating.
These are all pretty common issures really and sometimes when these feeling are not discussed in an open talk atmosphere things get out of control at awkward moments when issues are being discussed in public when really those issues should be talked about in private just between the two of you.
He gets upset because you embarrased him in public talking about private matters,and you have no control of the situation because of the drinking.
Solution to the problem is simple really:
Set aside one night of the week to talk about issures involving the 2 of you that need to be aired out.
Both of you need to agree on this,and he will also bring up issures that are on his mind also that you may not even know that is bothering him..and vice versa.
Usually believe it or not it is always the small things that get blown out of proportion until it is too late to fix the larger problem that is caused by a small issue.
Communication is the key..and it has to work both ways...if not..then each of you must travel on separate paths and on different roads and before you know it..he won't be your boyfriend anymore if there is no simple communication.

Answer 4

I'm the same way, just that it's everyone I'm around, I am very surprised that I haven't gotten myself a beating from someone....I get very brave , I had to stop drinking because of it, now I'm having to go to anger management classes cuz of the last time I got drunk and started some stuff...

Answer 5

although you say you get along great, the alcohol lowers your ability to "Suger Coat" you words and you lash out at him for all the little things he does that piss you off. Deep down inside, there is something you hate about him. Or you have yor own issues you are taking out on the poor guy.

Answer 6

in case you mixture it...yet that's gross. I ought to understand. once I first have been given braces, my grandmother made what exchange into in certainty a pink meat smoothie and that i had to drink it. I shudder purely thinking approximately it.

Answer 7

when you drink your not geting drunk your poisioning your self
intoxicated it taken from the greek word toxin witch means to poision it is the alcahol doing the talking not you hon dont blame your self blame the booze

and allways remember no matter the form alcahol comes in it is poision
sad how humans allow us to poision our selfs is it not

Answer 8

my sister's the same. Self esteem problem for sure. don't drink, you'll be much more pleasant to be around and will keep your partner for a long time.

Answer 9

YOU need to control your drinking. If this were about a guy I would be telling you to break-up...so take that for what it is worth.

Answer 10

maybe you have those feeling for him and you just say them out loud when your drunk. You know kids and drunks tell the truth :P Maybe you should ask your self if you have those feelings for him and why.