We are a family with 2 young kids and not enough money so decided to get a lodger. She is great in many ways although a little young and a little thoughtless at times. How can I approach some of the issues without causing friction? For example, wine spills on carpets, washing up left in the sink for a few days.... Nothing is major but the lack of thought bothers me!
2006-08-06 04:43:42 · 17 answers · asked by Stephanie C 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Taking in lodgers is a business and should not be treated any other way. If you set the rules at the start then both parties know where they stand. However there comes a time when something occurs that you may not have addressed.
I would suggest that you get together with your lodger and go over any issues that arise. To ease any friction, I'd start by pointing out some good things and then approach the ones that need addressing.
Also ask her if there is anything she has an issue with (remember that it's your home though and that you do not necessarily have to change what you regard as acceptable).
2006-08-06 05:32:24 · answer #1 · answered by Treat Infamy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tough question! Remember she is a guest in your home, albeit a fee paying one! And as such, she should abide by the house rules.
So she is young and thoughtless .... aren't they all? IT is certainly not beyond your remit to discuss poor behaviour .... it is your house and she simply cannot do as she pleases. I think wine stains on the carpet are a major issue .... I would find that appalling. Personally I would type out some 'house rules' in big print and stick them in prominent places ....... in the kitchen and hall possibly. These also apply to your kids of course ..... point them out to her and tell ner nothing personal but it would be great if everyone stuck to them, especially as the house is getting kind of busy now. If the thoughtlessness continues .... and you cannot deal with it ... tell her so, be frank ... she'll either fit in to keep you all happy or go ... !
2006-08-06 11:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try pivot comments to others in the household, like “thank you for cleaning that up, I’m glad you are considerate like that.” If subtlety doesn’t work, gather everyone together and make house rules. Say, “things have not been going smoothly as of late and I want us all to get on well, so I have made this list of rules, that if we all follow them, things will stay on the right path. If anyone has any ideas on new rules or changes to these rules we can work it out so that it is fair to everyone.”
If asking for basic respect and consideration would cause friction, then you may have more of a problem than you realize.
2006-08-06 11:54:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do u have a good relationship with her? if so just sit down with her over a cup of coffee and tell u have a few issues and rather than u get up tight about them u would prefer to discuss them with her, tell her what it is that u don't like and want her to do, if she takes umbrance to it then explain that u will have to look for another tenant, one that will abide by ur rules, if that happens then b4 they move in pin a rules and regulations info to the inside of thier bedroom door that way ur tenant will always b aware of what is expected of them.
I hope this helps, good luck.
2006-08-06 12:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Toughen up. You are going to have to be clear about what you expect and consistent in insisting on it. Let the little things go (she leaves a used coffee mug in her room for a while, so what?) but be clear about the dishes. Wine on carpets??? No way. That's time for her to get down on hands and knees and scrub (but not in the biblical sense).
2006-08-06 11:46:36 · answer #5 · answered by wild_eep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your lodger not your best friend. Tell her sooner rather than later. The longer you leave it the worse it will get. Be firm but fair. Good luck
2006-08-06 11:47:59 · answer #6 · answered by Pookie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her, if she don't like it let her go and get yourself a new lodger but if you get new lodger tell them what you expect them to do so you don't end up with the same problem.
2006-08-06 11:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by hedgehog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a friendly, quiet word about how much work the kids are & mention that it would be a great help if she tidied/cleared up after herself. You say she is young so she is probably used to her Mum picking up after her & just hasn't thought about it.
2006-08-06 11:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sink full of dirty dishes and carpet stains WOULD be major issue for me! Talk to her, be polite but straight and honest.
2006-08-06 11:47:48 · answer #9 · answered by little_friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well dont be snotty and toughen up cos that will get ya nowhere!
i would just leave a note maybe or have some sorta cleaning rota
OR even make a joke of it!
2006-08-06 11:55:50 · answer #10 · answered by ☺Everybody still loves Chris!♥▼© 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋