I like this guy.Would like to date him.Were both in out 40s.Weve been friends for yrs.Weve both been married and divorce.He just recently got divorced.Im not sure where this may go.Ive asked him if he would like to go out with me.He said he didnt want to ruin our friendship.Fine.He kept flirting with me.When I tell him to stop it & say itll never happen,he tells me you never know.So 1 day we chatted again about possibly dating.He said he didnt have an answer for me.Fine.I figured hes just not interested.Soon after,I asked him to do me a favor and he said he would, then 3 wks before hes suppose to do me the favor he starts saying he doesnt want to.The very day before he left a mess.on my cell & backed out w/a totally different reason.Wouldnt tell me why.When I asked him;he got all pissed off at me & told me why.Then told me I just dont give a s**t!Now, if he's not interested in me,why the hell would he say something stupid like that?Why did his feelings get hurt?Im confused?OMG!
2006-08-06 04:40:24 · 6 answers · asked by Fuzzy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He obviously has feelings for you. From a male perspective, it is very difficult for men to express their feelings, emotional at that. I suspect that since he just came off a relationship, he may be afraid to a certain degree. He obviously values your friendship and maybe he thinks that going out with you now may just turn into a rebound relationship. We all know those don't last. What if you approached your feelings for him a different. How about if you just strenghtened your friendship? Instead of going out on a formal date, why not go out as friends, like to a movie, dinner, etc. Maybe you just need to sit down with him, and say you do have feelings for him, and if he is not at the point, then perhaps you can hang out as friends. As you continue to date, and so does he. This may result in two ways, either you both find you are meant for each other or not. In my opinion, this type of discussion can only be face to face, not other means.
2006-08-06 05:31:25 · answer #1 · answered by Gilligan W 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have all the right in the world to be confused. I'm confused and I'm a man. When people do these things, yes women do this too, they are usually trying there best to tell you they have no interest beyond friendship but don't want to hurt you. However to flirt with you one time and then flake out on you the next is not good.
If he is in his 40's he should be a lot more responsible. So how much is his recent divorce playing in this? How bad was he hurt or was he? It could be it will take some time before he can trust again.
If you have been friends for years it may be he can't see you in any other way.
But don't let him get away with flaking on you. He should have more respect for you that that. Don't let him get away with that.
One other possibility. He could be dating someone else.
Regardless just stop asking for that date. If he ever brings it up point out to him you can't rely on him so why would you say yes.
Something going on that he is not willing or able to tell you. Until he resolves that you may continue to be confused.
2006-08-06 12:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well considerning he's been recently divorced, chances are he's still in an emotional termoil. Some people take a couple of years before they are comfortable even thinking about being in a relationship, give him some time, and back off some. Maybe he feels that you are pressuring him. As for the flirting thing, chances are its the only way he knows how to communicate with you.
Just be his friend for now, and then wait and see.
2006-08-06 11:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by addybme 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off all i have to say is that men are confusing and the reasoning behind that is that the literatly are confused and dont know what they want in the first place and that is why its so hard to understand them, women on the other hand are headed straight for what they know they want... men do have teddy bear hearts but just dont want to seem like they are p3ssys so they act tough, but if he just recently just got a divorce he is scared... my advice is to work slowly, it took me 2 years to get my husbad to marry me...and we have almost been married a year...be his friend... and when he is ready he will let you know....
2006-08-06 12:37:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
what a chump. He wants you he don't he wants you he don't he wants to sex you but thats only on his terms. I am a guy so I say He doesn't want a long term relationship. Hell I wouldn't either. Give room or get out.
2006-08-06 12:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by Moe Ron Dooshrod and Noodles 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He' playing you...he is obviously enjoying having his ego stroked by you...he is pushing you away and pulling you back then leave him alone for 30 days and see what happens...if you are confused it is b/c he is confusing you...
2006-08-06 11:46:22 · answer #6 · answered by htowngirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋