my best Friend?

Question

only dresses the same way as me and listens to the say music when she is with me, and is competly different with other people, i wanna tell her to just be herself but i dont wanna upset her

ummm for hu ever said wear sum outragous stuff, yeh see i alreally DO

yeh im 12

Answer 1

praise the things she does that are her own, not lifted from you. Encourage those positives, don't come down hard on the negatives (the copying). She's insecure and feels that she needs to conform to whichever group she's in. If you show that you appreciate behaviours, styles, etc that aren't necessarily what you practice yourself then that may give her confidence to be herself. For example, I think dreads are cool but I'd never wear them myself. So I can appreciate the style of someone with dreads.

If you tell her outright, "be yourself, stop copying me", I'm not sure that it will make the sense you want it to, and it might well upset her like you say as it will feel like rejection.

PS lennylil and mattak also make good points. Shopping idea cool, comment about teenage also true (we've all been there)

Answer 2

This is a really sincere form of flattery, and I think your friend might be really hurt if you pointed these things out to her.
This friend is telling you by her actions that she really likes your taste in music and clothes and is trying to please you.
Why don't you suggest a shopping trip, but hang back and ask her to choose what she likes. Maybe even point out that a certain colour makes you look drained, but is perfect for her colouring, or that a certain shape suits her figure much better than yours.
It's worth a try, cause good friends are easier to lose than to find.

Answer 3

Hey! Just sit down with her, and tell her how you feel. Don't be rude about it, be polite and to the point. Make sure to emphasize that you still really like her, and you don't want this to mess up the friendship or anything. But tell her, that'd she'd be better off just being herself, because she's the only one who can be that way...and when she's being herself she's really cool. Well I hope this helps!

Answer 4

You don't have to tell her anything, just go shopping with her and let her pick clothes first, and of course tell her that she looks good in what ever she picks. Then you pick your own clothes. It could be that she likes your style and when she is around other people she doesn't feel confident enough to where your style aorund them. Good luck.

Answer 5

Just be honest with her. Also, why are you assuming that this is about you? she could be changing her dress and preferences when around you because it is genuinely something that she likes that others in her life don’t understand. But you do. she could, theoretically have a personality disorder, but be honest and rule out the obvious before you jump to that conclusion.

Answer 6

Thats really difficult isn't it? She probably lacks confidence for some reason when she is with you - perhaps you wow her too much. Her confidence with grow at some point probably.

Why don't you go clothes shopping with her and before YOU buy anything find something that you think would look good on her - for HER colouring, shape etc.

Answer 7

Firstly be yourself don't dress outragously. I think maybe it's annoying you having someone copy you, you may feel like she is taking your identity. Everyone acts differently around different people, people are just like this sometimes. You can't change them. Tell her how you feel if you feel you can say something to her, if you think she can take it ;-)

Answer 8

She is quite flattering. People act differently to everyone. I try to keep my general personality the same, but even I talk differently to my friends than I would, say, my parents, or a police officer.

Answer 9

It depends how old you are. If you are teenager get used to that kind of situation with friends for at least 10 years

Answer 10

Try changing your style every day for a week or so, eventually she will get bored of copying it, I hope, lol im 13 :p