how do i talk 2 my 16 yr old daughter about sex?

Answer 1

Its way too late mate... usless parent... you should have done it over 6 years ago...


Most start sex 16-17 many already have

Oh and her first period must have been fun, like the opening scene in the horro film Carrie when a girl has her first one in the shower and is terrified thinking she is dying as her peers laugh in her face.

If embarrased get someone to cover all the points below and any others for the groups in the links


Oh and tom above is an idiot and why so many ghetto working class kids get pregnant as learning for yourself means by mistakes... Each mistake gets a name...

Peter, jane, Nappy baby and AIDS and syphilis, How many learn for yourself mistakes you want her to make? As you too much of a wimp to do your job?

See this first... you did it us style
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/factsheet/fsest.htm

I do dutch style... see the stats,.

These are youth sexual health and advice centres
Most have uk phone numbers

www.ruthinking.co.uk
www.brook.org.uk
www.playingsafely.co.uk
www.nya.org.uk




You aint gonner like this but its what she needs to know and those who don't know things to this level get pregnant.

Ie virgin births are common.

Oh and anything oil based renders condoms useless in 30 seconds for viruses, 60 germs and sperm... Acts like acid. this includes ice cream, chocolate, cream, vasaline as a lubricant... Oh yeah you better cover water based lubricants with her so it dont hurt.

Ployurathane condoms ie 'Durex avanti' arn not affected and also usful if one is allergic to rubber...


Oh and panned pregnancy and family planning clinics and youth groups give out free condoms.


She is likely to have got the basics but not the whole thing so will thing she knows what she is doing...


You need to debunk all the mythes like cant get pregnant standing up, first time, jumping up and down, if she douches ie washing out her bits after, first time etc...


All rubbish...


She needs to know she can't get pregnant from kissing or a blow jobs... Guess what your daughter is going to suck a lots of willy... horrified dont be... its what nearly all young women do, its part of normal sexaul behavour.

You have to acknowledge your daughter is a physical adult with L plate... She is no child at 16... but has lots to learn and needs guidance, support and shoulder to cry on and dad to get her out of poop. So not full adult yet in the sence she needs training...


This includes self defence lessons that are sex based ie if guy wont take know for an answer in a car.

She needs to know you can get pregnant for getting fingered her fingers or the boys say if either has seoin on them from touching the willy possibly taking off the condom...


you need to get her practicing putting on condoms in a realistic manner. Ie you go by a realistic dildo for her to practice with, ideally one that squrts as you are the adult here...

And test how fast she can find the condom, in the wallet, in her clothes on the floor in the dark in the car or bedroom, and get it out the packet, right way up, and on the fake willy withotu tears...


Fast enough so the guy wont wilt or they are likely to say sod it.

Its your job to get her on a depro injection and keep it up... Thats a 3 month birthcontrol injection she can't forgot as came in late after a kicking party and slept in as drunk.

A grown up is responsible a teenager is not but still has sex as thats how they learn... its your job to mnake sure the safety net is in place till she can handle it herself.

Oh and get the condom off and know its best to clean hands and willies now covered in seimin. So no contamination...


Its your job to make sure she knows where (and several places) to get morning after pills if anything goes wrong, not to hesitate that tshe is if neccessary to bunk off school or ask you for a lift and to kick up a fuss if necessary to get one fast...

That if despite everything she does get pregnant its ok to come to you.. ok honestly you may be upset and shout at first tbut that will be only out of shock if at all and your main concern is for her to be ok and sort out abortions etc...

And you dont want her to do anything stupid like top herself or a diy abortion which could hurt or kill her.

Oh and pepsi or coke cola is not to be used as a spermdice it caused damage and is dangerous...

Likewise I kid you not some dumb teenagers actually thing a luminous watch can be used instead of a condom thinking the radiation in the luminous paint will kill the sperm on the way through...

Total crap but thanks to you being pathetic thats the kind of stuff she has been getting from the playground to fill the gaps.

You have to make sure she knows she can get prenant from anal sex... as butts push out whats in them, the sperm dribbles down in her panties(its only an inch or so, and gets soaked into vagina and swims up... It happens... likewise him shooting it over her butt below her belly button of 'on target'


Can all get her pregant along with sitting on the wet patch or seimin soaked panties.



AND DRUM THE FOLLOWING INTO HER HEAD...

WILLIES LEAK SPERM AS SOON AS STILL SO NEVER EVER THINK SHE CAN HAVE SEX AND THE GUY PULLS OUT AS THE WILLY IS ALREADY LEAKING SPERM, AND GUYS HER AGE LAST ER SECONDS AND HAVE NO SELF CONTROL


LIKEWISE TREAT AS RUBBISH ANYTHING SUPPORTED BY THE CHURCH, NUNS ETC


IE THE GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY PARADE.

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Oh and tie up games...


Common sense mostly ie never let a stranger tie her up or someone she is not going steady with AND has already been having sex with and she totally trusts... NOTHING goes around the neck, aggree on safety words ie abort means stop.


And use things like safety fluffy handcuffs with safety catches the one can unclip if really wants to get off... never anything that cuts off blood supply etc.

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She needs to know that sex is not dirty, immoral or has to be done in marriage. But it needs to be done safely (and cover deseases) and with a care for others feelings and emotions.

That foreplay hand, blow lick and boobs jobs etc are all part of normal sexual relationships.

Foreplay is infact essentail

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Oh and if you have any sense let her know its ok to bring boys around as you would rather she did sex stuff with them at home where its safer especailly if you other parent are in to come to her aid if anything gets out of hand with say pepper spray behind the bed head. Plus have a plentify supply of condoms.


Put a light bolt on her side of the door for privacy but that can snap with a hard kick if necessary.

Oh and self defence lessons...


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You asked... well mate thats what its your responsiblity to do... not head in sand living in lalla land crap...


Your daughter needs you and not doing the above shows you all the ways kids get pregnant despite the crappy us /uk style sex ed... In the netherlands its woven into the entire curriculum and there throughout enducation from young kids upwards hence the tiny pregnancy rate.

And they are all open unlike you.


And forget abseinance you are more likly to trun all the cats in the country into bird loving vegitarians...


She is a hormonala highly fertile adolencent female human, AT FERTILE PEAK.


Nature made her that way to be able to have kids before eaten or killed by a preditor in a natural worls with a life expectancy of 30s so would need to get pregnant by mid teens to be able to bring up a kid to be self sufficient...


Thats not conveininet now as we live longer bbut biology does not change....


Also sex is what females use to manipulate males ie flirting to get dates ie free cinema.

And she wont be innocent... females actually get for more sex then most males simply as its easy to get. Be it with one guy or lots.


Oh and put her off pbabies by showing her how much they ruin lives so her social and love life would be over, scremaing, no sleep, nappies and possibly show her someone giving birth , the entire thing,... that should scare the crap out of her.

Told you you would not like the truth...,

I say it as it is no sugar coating

Answer 2

Although it's a little late in the game, the best way is to have started when she was just learning the names of all her body parts. From there, answering her questions as she asks them and only giving her the info she's asking for in an age appropriate response. All of that would have laid the ground work for trust and opened up the dialogue for discussions now.

Since that's not the way it went, I suggest just asking her what she knows. I would start off with small, short convos to help you both become comfortable with the topic. Let her know she can ask you anything she's not sure of. If you don't know the answer to something, tell her you don't know and that you'll look it up and get back to her. Then do that.

Overall, though, I have to say that if you both haven't been talking all along, it's going to be less likely at her age that she'll open up to you now.

Answer 3

i think you should lay it down easy for her. dont make it obvious in front of people. you know she is 16 and she wont be comfertable talking about sex with her mother so you will have to make her be comferatble. sit down somwheres quiet...ask her what she thinks about sex. does she think its normal? does she think she is able to do it? whatever the case may be in the answer... tell her what you think about sex... tell her when she is married, or when she totally ready to take care of a baby she can have sex. also tell her that she wouldnt want to throw her life away by havin a baby either.

also be carefull of what you say. if she comes out and says 'i had sex' or 'i want to have sex' remain calm... after all she is 16 years old. just remind her again that its the one thing in life right now (for her) that she doesnt need. focus on telling her about how people would look down at her and tell her that 'she was the one who got pregant around 16'. tell her that its perfectly normal to think about sex... but unless she is over the age of 18 she is not permited to have sex.

Answer 4

I wouldnt if I where you.
Alot of working class families, mine included, just let there kids find out for them selves how the world works, pubery, and so on. I did, and it wasnt embahrassing, it was just nice and easy - you learn from other people and friends.
As far as schools go there, there a shambles in this section. Out of date tv programmes, not enough infor on how to cope with problems.
Ask your kid whether they want help. That will put them in a more comfortable position. Or even tell them to write it down.

Answer 5

Talk to her honestly and openly but dont interigate her, she'll close up! Dont pressure her to talk to you about it but let her know that she can! She'll come round eventually and come to you when she's ready! You have to remember although she is young and still niave she is old enough now! We all had to learn somewhere! She will be fine, it sounds like she has a good parent in you for you to ask that question so im sure you brought her up well, therefore she will already know to be sensible!

Answer 6

I'd ask her if there's anything she wants to know. She must know a lot, unless you live on an uninhabited island with no tv. Wait until an appropriate moment - a tv show or something. Start a discussion - a woman who doesn't know who the father of her baby is, for example. Keep it light hearted.

Answer 7

Should have way before 16, you must wait until she wants to talk to you about it which she may never do. All you can do is tell her if she has any ?'s or help obtaining birth control she can come to you. Do not lecture or pry into her life or she will shut you out.

Answer 8

Next time something related comes up, like if she mentions she had sex ed at school that day or something, just casually mention that if she ever had any questions about sex, or if she ever wanted to talk to you about it, you would be happy to talk with her. Don't insist on sitting her down and lecturing her, because I'm a teenager too and I hate it when my Mom tries to lecture me on sex; it's embarassing and annoying if you're not ready to talk about it yet.

Answer 9

Every mother dreads the day when you should talk to your teen about sex..in general i think all teens have got the just of it and they will get to understand it more when there older because it comes naturall to all of us humans...
They also get taught about it in school by doctors and talks in a sex ed class so you don't have to worry at all.

Answer 10

straight out and open
Never felt any embarassment talking about to my mom at that age.
BTW don't be shy to explain certain experiences(don't get to graphic). An educated mind is less prone to mistakes and it makes for a lot of happiness in her future relationships

Answer 11

i am a teenage girl and i am 16 me and my mom have had this talk already .. just sit her down and talk to her about it even though she may think she knows everything about it but also explain to her about the effects it could possibly cause to her too .
if shes going to do than shes gong to do it no matter where at.. she'll talk to you about it but just don't go off on her about it and remember to be very open mined about it and if shes can fell comfortable talking to you about it than she'll come to you about everything
Amanda