How can I tell my husband to back off?He demands every second of my time for attention.?

Question

My husband becomes jealous if I send IMs on the computer, to ANYONE, wants to know who I talk to on the phone, if i talk about anything concerning work or my day ,HIS day was more important and everything affects him personally. He will call me at work just to "check -in". He even asks my neighbors to "keep an eye on me'.There is NO reason for this. I can't stand it! I have told him, if he keeps this mis-trust up, he will drive me away. What can I do?

Answer 1

Why not make him pay for not paying attention to Your feelings. Whenever he invades your space take away one of his perks. Like no cooked meal or no sex. You need to get control by making Him do without something he wants. If he is that unsure of your feelings a basic part of the relationship is missing. It seems he is thinking of you as an object in his possession instead of a partner in life.

Answer 2

Stop his behavior now or it will just get worse. It sounds like he is insecure and dosent trust you. Have you given him a reason? Regardless, you have to take a firm stand and let him know that when you married him you entered into a partnership not a dictatorship. Tell him you love him but you need some space. Talk about his concerns/fears and try to understand his point. Then make comprimises on both sides. Thats what makes a good marriage.

Answer 3

First of all, you shouldn't be talking to no man on the phone or em's except to have fun answering questions, making statements, etc. Check yourself. Let the neighbors look, this can be a good thing for your safety. Yea ! tell him mistrust will drive a person away especially if they're not doing anything. I would definitely take our marriage to a professional counselor, because he is better equipped to probe the reasons for your man's insecurity with you. Then you can make a sound decision as to what you want to do with your marriage.

Answer 4

I am guilty of the same behavior. Only I never had neighbors look out for me or anything that obsessive. My wife seams to be friends more with guys than girls and alot of the times in my circumstance I don't trust the guy with my wifes feelings because she is so giving as a friend and I worry about that. You know that guys can be dogs and they alot of the times think with there D***. I am not like that anymore but It did cause a mistrust issue in our marriage that I am still working to rebuild. Just tell him that if in fact he wants to lose you to nothing then keep it up and he will only be left with regret for being such an A**.

Answer 5

Very difficult. From your description, I'd guess that his compulsion is so deeply ingrained he can't control it. Think seriously about requiring counseling for the two of you with two goals. First, how is it you did not see the jealousy coming before marriage and stop it? Did it feed something inside you?
And second, and more important, how does he deal with whatever devil is in him driving his insecurity. Deep down, he doesn't feel he deserves your love (nor love from anyone else) and it's a tough place to be.

Answer 6

usually it will be a temporary phase and will hopefully end sooner than later. maybe he feels insecure around u. can u do something to make him feel more secure about ur relationship. be more loving to him. listen to him. giv him more of ur time at first. gently encourage him to take up some interests, cultivate friends. this would give u some breathing space. also tell him that though u love him very much , u need ur space and u would be happier in the long run and would love him more if u had it.

Answer 7

I FEEL YOU SO MUCH I TO HAVE A CONTROL FREAK FOR A BOYFREND I TO WAS FLUSTRATED AND FELT LIKE A PRISONER I HAVE BEEN WHITH MY BOYFREND FOR 15 YEARS AND IN THE BEGINING IT WAS RUFF ILL TELL YOU WHAT I DID EVERYTIME MY BOYFREND PULLED THAT STUFF I USE TO GO BULISTIC THEN I REALISED HOW HURT HE WAS WHEN I DID AND I REALIZED HE WASNT DOING IT OUT OF UNTRUST BUT OUT OF LOVE AND INSECURITY SO EVERY TIME I WOULD REASHURE HIM THAT I WASNT GOING ENYWHERE EVER IT TOOK SOME TIME BUT IT WORKED NOW I DO WHAT I WANT AND IT FEELS GOOD TO NO SOMEONE IS WHATING FOR ME TO GET HOME BECOUSE HE WORRES IT WONT HAPPEN OVERNIGHT BUT IF YOU STAY CONSISTENT AND CONVINCE HIM TO PUT HIS WORRES TO BED ITSHOULD TURN HIM AROUND WHITH THE ATHER STUFF HES TRYING TO INPRESS YOU MY BOYFREND IS A SUCKER FOR COMPLAMENS SO I GIVE THEM TO HIM WHEN HES DONE GLOWING OVER HOW WONDERFULL HE IS THEN I TELL HIM ABOUT MY DAY I THINK IF WE ALL NEED REASHUINCE SOMETIMES BUT SOME MEN NEED A LOT IF YOU LOVE HIM BE PASHENT AND KEEP TRYING

Answer 8

tell him how you feel about him (write him a letter) he is just insecure tell him how much he means to you and how much you love and respect him as well as the relationship.yelling has not worked and threatening him has gone in vain. So try giving him some security, and tell him that you love him every day, tell him how good he looks to you. Make him feel like he is the only man alive that you want .I mean it doesn't cost you a dime to make him feel good inside and wanted.

Answer 9

He fears loosing you. Tell him you love him, you are not searching for someone else, you just enjoy people. Let him know his job is important to you, but yours is just as important. Tell him you feel smothered when he gets so jealous and controlling and you shouldn't have to give him ALL your time because you are not his mother and he's not a baby. (OK, that was harsh, but you get my drift)

Answer 10

i dont think ur husband trust u none do he trust himself...he feel so low that he might lose u to men in progress...anyways talk to him and see how it works..if he didnt stop invite his best friend if not a family memeber and talk it over... well i bet he may hurt u physcially one day out of jealousy
best of luck