grumpy nieghbours?

Question

my nxt door nieghbours are really horrid i had a party for my sons b/day and she reported us to the enviromental health, the party was over by 11pm and every1 had gone by 11.30pm, this is the 1st party /bbq i have had in 2 yrs and she reported that as well, every 1 else in the street can have parties in the gardens untill early hrs of the morning but they don't get complaints,we r not noisy people and keep ourselves to ourselves i feel as if we r bng victimised by this women she is in her 60s, anybody have any ideas? plz

i should have added that this women is married, when she 1st moved nxt door i invited her in for a coffee and a chat and we would chat over the garden fence then 1 day i spoke to her and she ignored me from that day on both her and her husband complained if we parked in front of her house about the hedge and anything else they could find to winge about, when my son had the bbq 2 yrs ago the nxt day he apologised for any upset she ignored him and still reported us, i spoke to the enviromental health and they say that there is no acceptable level of noise as if some1 thinks that ur making to much noise at 1pm they can still complain, these nieghbours have bn the same in every home they have lived, approachable they r not, she says she has aggriphobia but is out side in the garden or walking to the shops or out in the car all the time, she doesnt sleep with her husband she sleeps with her dog!!!!!! yes i did say dog, a doberman cross!!!

Answer 1

She's jealous, I hate it when people get crabby in their 60's I'm 62 and would have partied with you, fluff it off, and hope she get a life. And party! Not all of us are like this

Answer 2

The hardest thing to go and do is apologise, but its always a good place to start. Most people complain because they are jealous, and sometimes feel just a little left out, and if she's old more often than not thats the case. Take the initiative and pop round and say your sorry you didn't realise it had upset her so much...another thing old people like is manners and things like that go a long way in gaining the respect of others. I'm not saying grovel, because why should you, but at least make the effort. Then if she throws it back in your face just ignore the woman. Maybe its just lonliness and she will be grateful not only that you made the effort but also of someone to talk to. A lot of old people get forgotten about and in a way its their way of getting noticed. I could be wrong, but I do think its worth a try there's really nothing to lose, and you could gain a nice new friend.

Answer 3

hi, i run a resident association, and this sort of action is all too common. firstly, nothing will happen to you. your neighbpour can report you all she likes, and the env health will visit regularly, however, provided it gets turned down by 11pm, (chucking out time) no action can be taken.

old people are very intolerant of lots of noise late at night, even if mother theresa were holding a party the same neighbours would complain. it doesnt help that its hot and we all leave our doors and windows open. you can cook whatever you want, however you want it done in your garden. this isnt a police state yet.

i suggest you give your neighbour notice of your party next time, and this time, offer the old biddy a slice of cake. do not under any circumstances apologise for making too much noise. the law will tell you when that happens, and they will ask you to turn it down.

so, party on. just be mindful of the time, and try to acccomodate your neighbour, ask her what sort of drum and bass she likes to listen to... slip her a pill or two... groove on grandma! obviously i'm joking. but some neighbours are inconsiderate and too happy to stitch you to the EH. if you have a problem with her, try your local residents association, if this continues it could be construed as harrasment. you can apply for an asbo, just get in touch wiht your local council.

i suggest a travellin circus for next time, complete with marching bands and a funfair... and dont invite them, or just go around, find out what their grievance is, and sort it out between yourselfs if you can. involving the authorities is often counter productive...as things always get worse before they better. and you can contact the environmental health yourself, and ask for a meeting.

good luck...
stuart lanigan

Answer 4

Yeah - if you're not doing anything worng then forget about it.

A lot of times these disputes escalate and it's all over one party or one BBQ.

Be polite, and next time just tell her - we're having a party for my son etc.

The environmental health are not always coming down on the other side . . . for example, they would look at how many other complaints they had that night from other neighbours.

If they do pay you a visit, then I suggest you ask what noise level would be appropriate (using whatever device they have) and then make a small mark on your stereo. If you stay below that mark then you are fine!!!

Let me know when you have the next party - don 't wait too long!

Answer 5

Please don't let this grumpy old woman get you down. She obviously has some sort of chip on her shoulder, and probably has nothing to occupy her life, so bitterness prevails. 11:30pm is hardly late but she obviously didn't like the fact you had a party. Can I offer some advice: I don't know how approachable she is obviously, but swallow your pride, go to her (& I know this next bit will be hard, & I know you shouldn't have to, but.....) aplologise to her for any noise that disturbed her, but you were celebrating your son's birthday, and ask her if she would like to come along to a future party & that she would be very welcome to attend. I know it's not ideal, & you don't really want her there,but it may make her think her actions were extreme. It could be she is lonely and this may give you the chance to make up. Good luck....

Answer 6

I guess she's one of those people that feels resentful because the neighbours are having fun, and feels that she 'should' have been invited because she lives next door.
Are you sure it was her, because the environmental health won't tell you who put in the complaint - are you guessing? Do you get on with her generally?
She may be one of those people who feels that you keeping yourself to yourself is shutting her out! Maybe she expects a relationship with you.
You aren't being victimised, she has reported you once in 2 years and if the noise was finished by 11.30 the environmental health aren't going to do anything - because they can't. Just ignore her and carry on with your life, and if anything feel sorry for her.

Answer 7

Tell her in advance with time estimates and state that you are within your rights to have a party. Therefore if she has a complaint she shold make it now and to your face not at any other time. In other words catch her on her back foot and point out she is being unreasonable. If she continues her behaviour then speak to the police yourself and explain the issues you have so they will use discretion when responding to her complaints about you.

Answer 8

1. Invite her (kill em with kindness?)
2. Send her a notice of the party beforehand, and that you've already notified the local authorities so there won't be any problems with traffic etc. (you can actually do this too - send them a notice telling them you've had repeated problems with the neighbor and that they may "get a call" during the party)
3. Report her for harassment.

Answer 9

She is getting older and becoming set in her ways. Any change in her schedule such as disruption in her bedtime might make her grouchy. She might be jealous and/or lonely. Maybe next time you can invite her to the party or ask for her help. Give her something to do other than to complain about what you are doing.

Answer 10

just keep on as u are.have ur parties theres a time and a noise level u can keep 2 so if she reports u theres not a lot any1 can do..she sounds a sad old bag who wants 2 spoil every1s fun prob cos she isnt havin none herself