is the grass really greener on the other side ?? Im just curious dont mean to offend anybody ..Im married and had so many problams been treated pretty badly but i chose to try and make it work cuz i mean thats what married couple are suppost to do ?? I mean we marry for better or worse till death do us part ?? we share a child together so i have sacrificed alot to keep this marriage going am i the fool ?
2006-08-06 03:12:26 · 12 answers · asked by heartbrokenthensum 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So many people marry for the wrong reasons. 1 - Because they don't want to be alone, 2- Because that person looks good or is popular 3- To have someone take care of them, 4 - Because that person makes good money, and the number one wrong reason to get married is 5-Because they don't understand what real love is and substitute it with like or lust or need.
However I peeked at some of your other questions to get a feel for what's going on in your life. First off if he treats you bad and you stay together because of the child you only teach the child to grow up to treat someone like that or allow themselves to be treated like that. (If he calls you names the child will eventually call you the same names because you stay and allow it). Plus the child grows up to hate the abusive parent for treating the other one so badly (is that how he wants his child to feel about him?).
Yes married couples are suppose to stay together for better or worse, but he broke the vows when he cheated, not you. He violated the contract, even the Bible says that is justification for divorce.
I know it hurts, and you want it to work, and maybe you can make it work. I would not call you a fool, he is the fool, because he stands to loose so much. You will end it when you have had all you can take, no one knows how long that will be - only you will know when it's the last straw.
My heart goes out to you.
2006-08-06 03:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by arvecar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People today are so overloaded with dealing with the challenge of earning a living that they lack any strength to work out marital problems. Often they rush into marriage thinking it will make things better but marriage is not a crutch for life. People need to understand the commitment made in marriage requires serious effort to contribute not to just get. Frustrations with career and finance get tempers short then what could have been an innocent misunderstanding becomes a major clash. Both partners must work on the relationship. If you are always the one that gives then the relationship is a waste. The child is not a reason to stay together because if there is open friction in front of the child it could causes problems in the development of values of the child. Put reality in place and talk it out with the mate. If there is not a renewed effort to work things out start making plans for the future after the marriage is over.
2006-08-06 04:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by mr conservative 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No the grass isnt greener on the other side. However if you feel or your partner feels that you both have exhausted all possibilities of making the marriage work.. then why go thru it. I guess what I am saying is.. that life is too short to be miserable. You have done well by giving the marriage all you have to give. However it takes two to make a marriage work and only one to break it up. If you have been treated badly.. then it might be time to let the better or worse out the window. Life indeed is too short to be miserable. Its not fair to you to live in unbearable conditions and its not fair to the child either. Only you can determine what is unbearable to you. Good luck.
2006-08-06 03:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband have been separted for a year trying to work things out and we arent getting anywhere my kids are suffering because of it and because everyone in our familys think divorce is bad we stay married, and i read people asking questions like yours all the time on here and the only thing i can say is that the children suffer more than anyone in difficult marriages and there is not enough counseling or therapy to undo what the parents have done. im not going to say you are fool you are doing whats in your heart and that is good. there are some things that cant be fixed in marriages and why live an unhappy life and make your kids suffer maybe that is why people are so quick to get divorced who knows?
2006-08-06 03:33:33 · answer #4 · answered by sweetie1995 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no your not a fool.I commend you and respect you for sicking in their. And no the grass is not greener on the other side. Most people just trade one trouble for another when they think their doing better.Any relationship is like everything else in the world it is what you make it.Now don't get me wrong iam not advising that one sits around just to be miss treated but people tend to run for the hills at the first sign of trouble
2006-08-06 03:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It just depends on how badly you are being treated. If he cheats on you or hits you, you should leave. Anything else, go get counseling. A lot of people are just too lazy to put in the work to keep a relationship going. They fail to realise that is they "water" their own "grass" it will be green too.
2006-08-06 03:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think people in general are quick to divorce - it's a long, costly, and painful process. But after you feel you've tried everything to make it work with someone and things are still terrible, the best thing is to agree to move-on. No sense in living an unhappy life.
2006-08-06 05:36:28 · answer #7 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have been to 4 marriage counselers, in 2 years together, and you know, we just don't get along n e more. The drugs tore us apart, AND YES, I know that is a sickness, but he would rather sit there and tell me he does not need help and call me names. Why should I stay miserable? I shouldn't. No one should.
2006-08-06 03:55:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only speak for my hubby and I we agreed be4 we ever got married that divorce was not a solution that if it took counseling or whatever we'd do it. For us it's love and committment. we both had really bad first marriages and learned a lot from that especially how to treat each other. We both feel truely blessed to have each other. am concerned for u. You don't sound like u r happy. Does he hurt u? am praying for u and if u want to talk email me sshhorty2@yahoo.com
2006-08-06 05:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by sshhorty2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything worth having is worth fighting for... This concept gets lost during divorce procedures. They probably wanted to see if their mate would fight for them.
That was my original thinking when I filed in late 98--he didn't fight for us so after a year I just wanted it over.
It is easier to quit than it is to fight for what you want
Or sometimes you just get tired of being sick and tired.
No the grass isn't greener--the illusion makes it look greener.
2006-08-06 03:24:51 · answer #10 · answered by toody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋